unspoken words of that stubborn soul…

3* A Little Bit of Something

“Five minutes!?”, the guy smirked as Geun Suk approached the bench at the park. Kurt handed him a cup of coffee, while Geun Suk offered him light for his cigarette.

“Punk! Don’t ruin my mind trail!”

“Tch! Does that mind trail include a girl in the land of Uncle Sam, driving a Maserati, with a flower boy as a chauffeur?”

“Nah. The mind trail include a guy who can finish a conversation in ten seconds flat!”

“Awww. Jang Geun Suk-ssi, i am not available at the moment. And if ever you decide to leave that someone i know…. nah… i won’t convince you to come back to her. One second Geun Suk, and i will be one of those guys waiting to have a taste of that kid’s blood”

Geun Suk smirked, and threw daggers straight to that guy.

“You wish, dude. you wish”

“Same as the wishes of the other guys out there. Tch!”


Kurt shook his head, smiling as he flicked the end of his cigarette. He may have known that guy for years, knowing how the wheels in his head turn, but when it comes to his insecurity for that girl, he may never know the end of it.

“Have you talked to her?”

“Hm?” Geun Suk answered absentmindedly.

“I asked, have you talked to her?”

“The friend? um.. yeah. The girlfriend, haven’t”

Kurt simply looked at him.. dumbfounded, but knowing him and her, he just shook his head and smiled.

Message ping.

“Oppa, can i talk you?”

Kurt read the message, then looked at that guy.

“What?”, Geun Suk said, as he took a sip from his cup.

“My friend sent me a message. Would you like to check whether the friend or the girlfriend sent you one as well?”

“Nope. She definitely did not. Neither of the two would have. And…. given the recent turns of events, I’d rather not check if i would want to keep my words”

“Crazy b*stard! Can i answer this one while you’re sulking here, or would you prefer me in a distance?”

“I dare you to do it, Kurt. I dare you, if you still want to see the sun shines tomorrow”

“Easy!”., Kurt said in surrender. I’m just having some fun here. It’s not so many times that i have you wrapped around my finger, or so they said”

“Tch. Pali, call her. She must have something important to tell you”

“Maybe… might be as important as the coffee date last night”

“She told you that?”

“Ow! Is it a national secret? Dude, relax. It’s just coffee.. coffee in the desert.. haha”

“You, punk!….”

“Yeoboseyo? Yup.. it’s ok. I’m free. Where are you?”

“Malibu Beach…”, echoed from the speaker.

Malibu Beach…Tch!

“Kurt Oppa, have you heard from Geun Suk Oppa? He’s not answering my calls”

Geun Suk looked at the phone, and then at Kurt, his forehead creased.

“Oppa, are you on speaker?”

Geun Suk could not follow whatever it is that Kurt was answering. His mind focused on that girl, his ears only hearing her words.

“Hal! I’m not ranting about him. He won’t even give me a chance to nag. He won’t even call me. He won’t even answer my calls. Min Ho Oppa thought i’m a bit of a psycho. I was just staring at my phone, waiting for his message”

Tch! You made me promise. What are you? Hormonal! One call… just one ring and you’ll turn my world upside down…not that it’s not inverted at the moment

“It must be the waves of the ocean, Oppa. Wait, i’ll pick another spot”

Tch! Waves of the ocean… Is someone bothering you at the moment, Princess? Aisssh!!!!, Geun Suk thought to himself as he was flipping the pages of the magazine.

“Hm… the air is quite nice. And the sea seems to sing at night. I wonder how the ocean sounds in Phuket.”, she said, shaking her head as if remembering something.

“Why don’t you ask the guy who’s been going in and out of there?”


Geun Suk’s hands stilled, as he heard the echoes of her heart.


“Shin Hye….?”

“Hm… there are some things which are better left unsaid… better not to ask…”

The ghost of that year is still haunting us down. Happy anniversary! Geun Suk thought sarcastically as he remembered that it’s only a month over one year when that incident happened. That incident that broke and shattered them both. But they came stronger together, didn’t they?

“Shin Hye?”

“Mianhae, Oppa. Maybe, i just felt tired.. bored.. disappointed. I’m quite hormonal.. ha ha ha”, she faked a laugh, hiding her tears.

Geun Suk looked at the phone, his face blank.

“I wonder how Sri Panwa looks like. I wonder how he feels whenever he goes there. I wonder what he needs to escape to, and what he finds as an escape whenever he’s in there. Aissssh! But, i won’t ask. I won’t dare.”


Geun Suk’s heart stopped beating. He stilled, his eyes not leaving the phone.

Empty… lonely…I need to escape your absence, to tear myself from becoming a lost puppy whenever you’re not around. What i find as an escape? Myself… myself who’s missing you.. i’m trying to escape the emptiness only to come face to face with that man without his heart. I need a distraction…. A serene place with the sunset at the back drop.. our song playing softly at the background and your face appearing in repeat mode whenever i closed my eyes. Crazy… jinja… crazy.. what has become of me?!? Ask me Princess… Dare to ask and you will find the deepest secret of my escapes in Sri Panwa… Mianhae… mianhae… up til now, those were the only words that i can offer for the heartaches of that year

“I thought…”, Kurt said, his eyes anywhere but on Geun Suk’s.

“Ha ha ha. Don’t tell Oppa. Kurt Oppa, promise me, you won’t tell Oppa. I will sound a bit whiny. It’s either he’ll tease me to death, or he’ll find me a bit too childish. Ha!”

“A.. cham.. Oppa, have you seen the stills? Haha.. i was trying to reach Geun Suk Oppa. I want to tease him about the Maserati. The car is quite fast, but Min Ho Oppa is not quite familiar. I wanted to steal the wheels and drive it myself. “

“Shin Hye?”

“A.. i sprained my ankle the other day. We were shooting some scenes. I accidentally twisted my ankle….. And the day before that, i was with Min Hyuk. You’ve met him before, right? Hm… what else. I met some stars at the set. I was really overwhelmed Oppa. If you only saw my face when i saw the banners….”

Geun Suk had shut them off… those words..those words were like white noise being drowned in the background.

What do you want me to do, Princess… tell me…is this my signal to call that deal off? Can i come to you now? Or is it this time that i should stay still and watch you from the sideline.. Mianhae… mianhae.. i’m having a hard time decoding your words. is it too difficult, or am i simply trying to ignore your words, finding an excuse to call this off?

She’s scared. Her fear eating her whole.
She’s fading. She’s sinking…
She’s trying to reach out… waiting for him to save her.

“Kurt Oppa, they’re already looking for me. Kamsa….”

“Take care, Shin Hye…”, and as Kurt was about to end the call, Geun Suk stopped his hand in mid air…. prolonging their connection.

And as if she sensed it, he saw her smile, and whispered, “I’m doing great, Oppa, right?”

Geun Suk nodded his head, and whispered, “Saranghae”


2* A Little Bit of Her

Geun Suk was driving along Han when he suddenly remembered something. He stopped driving that Ferrari, tapped his fingers on the steering wheel while humming that familiar song…

I will promise you
Du nu nen no man dam go sa ra gal ke
I will promise you
Du pa run no lan go sa ra gal ke
A chi me nun to jam dun sun gan ka ji
No ha na man gu ril ke
Sa rang he I mal it ji ma
I love you forever

He looked at the Han, shook his head as he remembered what it was that his head was trying to hum.. was it his head or his heart?

“Aigoo, Go Mi Nam-ssi!”

He squinted his eyes, did that familiar Hwang Tae Kyung pout as he tried to ponder on something.

“I should have really befriended that punk.”, he shook his head as he remembered that episode.

“Lee Min Ho-ssi.. Lee Seung Gi, Yoo Ah In, Kim Soo Hyun, Yoo Seung Ho… tsk tsk tsk. Lee Seung Gi, check. Yoo Seung Ho, check. And now, Lee Min Ho-ssi! What the! Three out of five in one year. Yoon Si Yoon did a retake. Lee Jong Suk and Jung Il Woo joined the bandwagon. Aisssh! What were you thinking Jang Geun Suk when you decided to date that girl?”

Tap. Tap. Tap.

“She acts like a guy… talks like one of your guy friends…plays like your biggest competition in any sport. Heck, she could even beat you in car racing. She’s not even that pretty…. not even that pretty… hm… pretty… yepuda, jinja.. nope… really… jinja.. Aisssh!”

He took his phone and dialed one number.

“Where are you? Meet me at the Han in five.”

Plain and simple. Conversation should be that fast. No script writing, script reading.. planning your lines even before she answer the phone. No need to tell someone you miss her or you can’t wait to see her sooner. No pretense… pretense…

The simple hi, would be followed by hey…the courteous how are you… the overrated i miss you’s. You’re too sleepy to start a conversation, a little too annoyed to check in for you will only be discussing some trivial things, asking have you eaten already.. what did you have for dinner, and then will shift to how’s eommonim? Is Sunni doing fine? The never ending sharing of what i did and did not do.. what she did and hope she didn’t.. then, the classic, Oppa, do you think I’m getting bigger (which is a subtle way of asking whether she’s getting fatter)? You’re fighting your eyes from closing, trying to hide your laughter, when she would suddenly mention that she had coffee with Lee Min Ho-ssi last night and you would abruptly sat up from lying, your back against the headboard of your bed. You’re gritting your teeth, trying your best to calm your nerves, asking nonchalantly how the coffee tasted, and how long was it before she finished the cup, which by the way is the not so obvious way of asking how long the coffee date was.

No pretense. A bit boring. No specific topic. No plan on the flow of conversation. You wished to end it fast… fast… Until she said, good night and wished you sweet dreams and you find yourself hanging on the line hoping it won’t end that soon.

Smiling, Geun Suk drove back to the park, hoping to meet that someone in five.


1* A Little Bit Too Much

“Where are you?”, Kurt asked her while sipping a cup of coffee, his eyes focused on that guy who’s flipping the car magazine a little too rough than normal.

“Malibu Beach…”, she answered nonchalantly, her voice a bit bored.

Kurt looked at that guy again, who smirked a little, a bit too annoyed.

“Kurt Oppa, have you heard from Geun Suk Oppa? He’s not answering my calls”, her voice a bit too calm to the ears.

Kurt’s eyes almost bulged. He mouthed, “punk!”, and then, he shook his head while answering, “i’ll be meeting him in a few”

“Oppa, are you on speaker?”

“a…um… deh… i’m eating something”

“oh.. i thought you’re with someone”

“a… i’m at the park. not a lot of people at this time of the day. No one would hear your rants against your Oppa”

“Hal! I’m not ranting about him. He won’t even give me a chance to nag. He won’t even call me. He won’t even answer my calls. Min Ho Oppa thought i’m a bit of a psycho. I was just staring at my phone, waiting for his message”

“tch”, Geun Suk smirked, the pages of the magazine almost got torn.


Kurt eyed Geun Suk, asking him to behave or he’ll come clean to Shin Hye.

“Oppa, are you there?”

“Shin hye-yah, mianhae. The line is not clear”

“It must be the waves of the ocean, Oppa. Wait, i’ll pick another spot”

“Malibu Beach, ha”, he repeated smiling.

“Hm… the air is quite nice. And the sea seems to sing at night. I wonder how the ocean sounds in Phuket.”, she said, shaking her head as if remembering something.

“Why don’t you ask the guy who’s been going in and out of there?”


Geun Suk’s hands stilled, as he heard the echoes of her heart.

“Shin Hye….?”

“Hm… there are some things which are better left unsaid… better not to ask…”

“Shin Hye?”

“Mianhae, Oppa. Maybe, i just felt tired.. bored.. disappointed. I’m quite hormonal.. ha ha ha”, she faked a laugh, hiding her tears.

Geun Suk looked at the phone, his face blank.

“I wonder how Sri Panwa looks like. I wonder how he feels whenever he goes there. I wonder what he needs to escape to, and what he finds as an escape whenever he’s in there. Aissssh! But, i won’t ask. I won’t dare.”


“I thought…”, Kurt said, his eyes anywhere but on Geun Suk’s.

“Ha ha ha. Don’t tell Oppa. Kurt Oppa, promise me, you won’t tell Oppa. I will sound a bit whiny. It’s either he’ll tease me to death, or he’ll find me a bit too childish. Ha!”


“A.. cham.. Oppa, have you seen the stills? Haha.. i was trying to reach Geun Suk Oppa. I want to tease him about the Maserati. The car is quite fast, but Min Ho Oppa is not quite familiar. I wanted to steal the wheels and drive it myself. ”

“Shin Hye?”

“A.. i sprained my ankle the other day. We were shooting some scenes. I accidentally twisted my ankle….. And the day before that, i was with Min Hyuk. You’ve met him before, right? Hm… what else. I met some stars at the set. I was really overwhelmed Oppa. If you only saw my face when i saw the banners….”

Kurt was listening intently, confused on the sudden shifts of topic… worried on the guy sitting next to him.

Geun Suk was just sitting there, his shoulders tensed. He heard her bits and pieces, but he saw her message loud and clear.

She’s scared. Her fear eating her whole.
She’s fading. She’s sinking…
She’s trying to reach out… waiting for him to save her.

His fierce little Princess.
He almost forgot she’s just a little girl.
He was almost tempted to pull her back and push them away.
But he gave her his words.
He’ll stand at the sideline and let her do her battle.

“Kurt Oppa, they’re already looking for me. Kamsa….”

“Take care, Shin Hye…”, and as Kurt was about to end the call, Geun Suk stopped his hand in mid air…. prolonging their connection.

And as if she sensed it, he saw her smile, and whispered, “I’m doing great, Oppa, right?”

Geun Suk nodded his head, and whispered, “Saranghae”


5* Free Pass (Roller Coaster Ride Re-run)

I knew the moment she felt my presence. Her shoulder stiffened, as if forcing herself not to turn around and recognize that I was here.

I could not blame her. How could i?

Instead of braving her stubbornness, I held myself rooted on that ground, looking at her through that distance.

She slowed down, paused… stopped. She was counting her breaths… wary for my shadow that she expects to surprise her from her peripheral.

Would she be surprised if I would not attempt to surprise her?

I stood there, motionless.

She stopped there, waiting… she angled her head, threw a sideward glance as if confirming whether her instinct has been betraying her too much.

She knew I was there. She felt me, but she couldn’t see me. I wouldn’t allow her to.
She has no proof. No tangible evidence to prove that I was here.

Am I here? Or am I just an illusion, pretending that I was here?
Was I breaking her faith in herself? Or her faith in me?

She shook her head. She smiled a bittersweet smile. She started to push herself and continue with her journey.
I was left there…. Buying some time… fighting the inevitable.

Three… four months… I don’t know. I’m not sure. I lose count of time.. of days… of months…
I saw her standing from afar… looking at me.. reading me….
She was looking at me in those lost eyes, as if trying to gauge me… guessing the ticking of my mind.

I stood there.. looking at her, looking at me.
I was staring at her, reading whether she could read the message I was trying too hard to conceal. I was losing her.. my time was counted.

I was trying to prove her wrong… to prove me wrong…
She didn’t know me that much.
She still has time.
I’m letting her go…

What have I just said? Have I heard myself correctly? Stupid b*stard!

My kite was tumbling down. I was soaring too high.. too far.
I asked her to let me go for awhile, prove to her that I am mature enough to know the limits.. my limits..
I almost forgot.. completely forgot that I don’t have such sense of limit.. I don’t know when to stop or where to stop…

I saw her eyes widened as she saw me approaching those dark clouds. I was hit, face first, and stumbled and flown to a different direction. She tried to stop, grabbed the string and pulled me back…. But I don’t want her losing it all because of me…

I knew she cared.. she loves me.. loved me..
And she will not forgive herself if she lost me while giving in to my pleas.

She took the string and maneuvered me to her right, pulling me close, not letting me go.
I slowed down, when I saw the well of tears swimming in her eyes.

She’s trembling.. she’s scared..
I forced myself down, letting her know that she’s in control.. that I will go wherever she would want to send me to.

I lied.
I fooled her.
I cut the string long before I stumbled upon that cloud..
I lose touch of the ground the moment I saw her eyes glint at the sight of her wings sparkling against the sun.

She was holding me back to avoid me from losing control.
I was holding her back, making her lose her chance.

I am my man.
I know what I want.
I’m certain of my plan…
Until logic once again crossed my heart.
This time, it’s not because of my selfish self.
This time, it’s because I want to be selfless for her.

I want to see her soar.
I don’t want to be the dead weight, pulling her back.
I am certain of my heart….
But my heart can wait…
And I am willing to wait…

The trip in this roller coaster ride seems to be endless.
I met this loop, this deep, a few years back.
I screamed my heart out, challenged gravity on its face…
And here I am again, approaching that rise.. and the expected fall.
If I was the man I was before, and if she was just any other girl, I would give up this pass, and say, “to h*ll with fate”
But I am this man she made me to be and she is this girl I prayed so hard to have….

The ride is worth it…
I’ll take a thousand loops… I’ll fall from a thousand feet.
I’ll face the ground upsidedown
Eyes open wide, my hand clasped with hers.
My heart in her hand, hers in mine.

And as I see her standing there, her back facing me…

“When can i do this with someone too… ”


She slowly turned around, her head tilted to the side…
My hand in my pocket, the other holding her image…

She looked at me, her eyes meeting mine.
I looked at her, my eyes answering hers.

The ends of her lips lifted a little.
I nodded my head, took a step closer.

She shook her head, her eyes twinkling.
I took a step closer, daring her to step back.

She stood her ground.
She dared not read me.
She didn’t need to.
She knew me… more than I thought she did.

The service has ended.
People made their way through the crowd.
I was just standing there, and she on her spot.

The world kept on turning, but time has stopped between us.

“Will you be there for me.. at my wedding?

I smirked.. held out that devilish laugh.
I met her gaze.. shook my head…

“Pray hard I will be there, or brace yourself to stay single forever”


Chapter 38: Closure

For a while, he thought this was it. The start of their ever after.
Then, he saw the next sign.
She pulled away from him, a glint of wisdom ticked in her eyes.

Back to the ball game.
Sanity is back, and she didn’t like what she saw.

Geun Suk saw the moment those eyes stared at him blankly. He felt her pulling herself away, her guard set between them. He knew .. he knew exactly when senses came back to that girl.

As she was staring at him, tilting her head, Geun Suk smiled and just looked back at her.

“What are you smiling at?”, she asked, her eyes careful.

“Welcome back”, he answered nonchalantly.


“I was waiting for you. In fact I actually timed the exact instant you will appear. You’re a bit late but I’m thankful”.

That girl squinted her eyes, smirked then said, “I’m out of here”.

And, as she was reaching for the car door, the lock automatically slid home, trapping her inside.

“Unlock the door, Geun Suk”

“I’m back to Geun Suk?”

He saw her closed her eyes and scratched her forehead. “Chebal. I’m tired. I want to go home”

“I’ll send you home after we’re done talking”

“Are we not done yet?”

“We haven’t even started”

“And what do you call the hour before this that you have been talking to me?”

“I was not talking to you”


“I was talking to that kid.. not to you”, he said, loving the irritation, confusion on her face.

“Ha! I think there’s something wrong in your head”

“And there’s something wrong with you”

“Geun Suk…”

“I’m done letting you do all the talking, Shin Hye. For once, we’ll talk in a way that this thing should be handled. Not you walking away when you feel being trapped… not you bringing out all the skeletons when you can’t find anything to say”

“Ha. Will you please stop the charade? I don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s getting late and I’m tired. I want to go home”

“You will go home when I say you can go home”

“And what are you? My cell guard”

“Think whatever you want to think. We’re not leaving this car unless we discuss everything. And when I say everything, I mean every thing that is running inside that head”

“I told you I’m done talking to you”

“And I told you as well we haven’t even started talking”

“And who do you think you’re talking to earlier?”

“Your other self?”

“Ha. And what am i? Schizophrenic? Do I have a lot of alter egos? MPD?”

“MPD?”, he asked, with wrinkled forehead.

“Multiple Personality Disorder.”, and when she realized that they were having a conversation from that simple interaction, she rumpled her hair and hissed, “Aisssh!”

“Yeah. I guess you do have multiple personality disorder. I don’t even know when I’m talking to which one. Are you back to that trusting girl, or are you still the senselessly sensible mind?”

“She’s not trusting. She’s gullible”

“Woah! So I’m really talking to two alter egos here. You give me a heads up when the characters are taking another turn, hm?”

“Yah! Oppa, this is not funny. I want to go home”

“You’re running away”

“I just want to take a rest”

“Stop hiding”

“I’m not”

“And I won’t let you”

Shin Hye just looked at him. Geun Suk didn’t let go of her eyes.
He knew he’s being senseless, crude bastard. But he knew too well that the girl will not allow him to take charge if he will not use this route.

Shin Hye, feeling defeated, heaved a sigh, shrink back to her seat, and averted her eyes.

“Can we talk now?”

He saw her silent agreement as she nodded her head.


“Oppa, if you will only…”, she stated as if having an idea on where this thing is going.

“Please, Shin Hye…chebal”, he asked, pleading her to listen.

Shin Hye shook her head, smiled weakly, knowing exactly what it is that they are threading now.

“Do you like me?”

“Mwo?”, she said, her eyes wide.

“Do you hate me, then?”

“Ha. Where are we going Geun Suk?”

“I want to talk to you”

“You’re talking to me now”

“Ani.. Aniya… You’re determined to keep your mouth shut. And I won’t let that. You have to talk to me, Shin Hye. Let’s stop running away”

“I’m not running away”

“Then, talk to me”

“I told you..”

“You don’t have anything to say to me. I heard that. Change the script. I need you to talk to me”

“Oppa! Chebal!”

“Chebal, talk to me”

“I want to go home”

“I told you, you can’t”

“Fine. What do you want to hear?”


“Anything… anything… the night seems a bit dark today, don’t you think? I’m tired and I can’t even lie down on my bed. I guess I will look like a panda tomorrow”

“Carry on.. talk… talk those nonsense”

“Aisssh! Oppa!”

“I’m listening…”

“I hate you…”, she said in a whisper.

Geun Suk just nodded his head.

“I hate you…”, she repeated, then unknowingly, tears started to flood her eyes.

“I hate you, did you hear me? I hate you”, she said, again and again.

Geun Suk just sat there, his head bowed down, waiting for her to open up more.

“I hate you… I hate you the moment I saw you in Bangsan. I hate you more when you keep on coming near me. I hate you when you tried to invade my space. I hate you for making me feel the way I feel then…” Shin Hye bowed her head and bit her lips. Geun Suk handed her a box of tissue, still trying very hard not to look at her. “Do you really want me to continue? You asked for this, Oppa. Ha! I’ll tell you everything now, and after this, we try to pretend that we don’t know each other”

Geun Suk did not show any reaction. He was just sitting there, listening to every word she’s saying.


“I’m listening”

“After this, we have to pretend that we don’t know each other, hm?”


“Promise me..”

Geun Suk just nodded his head, still avoiding her eyes.

“I don’t think I need to spell everything out. I think you know most of them. I hated you. I liked you. Tch. I hated you. Then, I loved you. Then back to hating you again. I slipped. I fell. I stood up. I let go. Then, I fell again. And I keep on falling and falling. Until, one day, I told myself, I don’t want to feel that vulnerable anymore. I hate it, Oppa. It’s like a moth who’s always being pulled by fire. I know the consequence. I’ve been there a lot of times. But I still keep on coming near it. Until I burned my wing and fall down. I hate it Oppa. I hate you. And I hate myself for being too stubborn to learn my lesson”


“Aniya.. I don’t want to go there anymore, Oppa. I don’t want to be anywhere near you. You always make it a habit to make fun of me..”

“I am not..”, then he was cut in mid-sentence when Shin Hye glared at him, asking him to stop and just listen.

“However you re-word it, in whatever way you put it, you played with me, Oppa. You played me as a fool. You always pull me anywhere, then dumping me whenever and wherever you want”

“Shin Hye…”

“That’s how I saw you the first time. You know you’re good looking. You know almost everyone likes you. And you always use it to your advantage. You treated me like your fan girls. Teasing me whenever you can.. leading me to wherever, only to drop me off when it’s convenient. But I learned my lesson. Or so, I guess I did. And then it happened again.. not only once… twice.. I don’t know. I lose count already. I told you I’m not holding you responsible. But when I come to think about it, you are. I should make you accountable. I should make you feel guilty for all those sleepless nights. Yeah.. right.. I was crying every night. You can laugh at me now. I was crying since the day I saw you. I was crying until I can’t even remember what it is that I am crying for. Until the pain would subside. Until I learn.. pretend to let go. Then you will come again and invite me to play. Then I will tell myself.. ‘Don’t. He’s getting bored again. Don’t. I don’t want to cry anymore.’ But how? I think I won’t ever learn when it comes to you. You put me under this spell. You have me in the palm of your hands. How unlucky I am to meet you on that day! But that curse would stop…. Will stop now. I won’t allow you to control me like that again. Never…”


After a minute or two, Geun Suk let out a laugh. Shin Hye instinctively threw him a dagger look. Her tears ran freely down her cheeks, feeling defeated, feeling embarrassed, feeling laughed at.

Knowing that look, Geun Suk looked at her, smiled, then wiped her tears with his thumb.

“I thought you’re a witch”

“Mwo?”, she said, her eyes confused.

“The moment I saw you that day, I was expecting to hear you scream when you saw my face. Conceited, yes, I am. But I don’t really care how others would perceive me. I don’t give a second glance to any other when I passed by. Until you. I might be three years older… and yes, I have played a lot and I enjoyed playing. But never when I was committed. I flirted, yes. I played, yes. But I know the rules. And those with me, definitely know how to play the game and the rules. You’re a new thing to me. I haven’t seen someone like you before. I’m used to girls who couldn’t look me through the eyes. I’m used to girls saying yes even before I ask for something. But you… you’re different. The moment I saw you, there’s that shadow of defiance.. of indifference.. and I was challenged. Yeah.. I thought I was… it’s better to put it that way… I just wanted to see whether I can charm you out of your comfort zone. Ha. But the spell bounced back. I don’t know when it started. But I guess the word “challenge” was just a cover up… a word used by myself to avoid any embarrassment from the true essence of the word. I was enchanted. I was played with. The game has started, and I was still trying to fight it. No, I will not surrender. No, this is just the same as any other. No.. can’t do.. can’t be. You said I was playing with you. What will you think when I tell you that I guess I was being played with… hm.. not by you, but by some forces that I can’t see.. some thing that I can’t put my finger on. You know my story. I told you everything, How at the age of 20, some unknown voices have asked me to slow down and drop everything… drop everything for that girl waiting at that spot. Ha. I look crazy. It sounded crazy. I tried to ignore it until, somewhere, I felt the spell working on me. You are charming your way inside me, and I can’t do anything to stop it. For the first time, I got scared. For the first time, I hated myself. For the first time, I wanted something which I think I don’t deserve of having. I hoped I was just someone else. I hoped I could be someone better. I hoped I could be deserving of you. Ha. But, I’m quite selfish, have I told you that? I may not be right, but I want you with me. I may not be that someone yet, but I can be that person all young girls dreamed of in their fairy tale stories. Ha. I can be your Prince Charming. I can be anyone you want me to be. For the first time, I’m willing to let go of myself. For the first, what someone thinks matters. For the first time, I want to be worthy for someone. For the first time I longed to be someone who is worthy enough. But things went a bit shaky. I was surrendering myself, when things went out of control. And I lose you.. lose myself. I will let go, think it will be for the better. But unlike you, who thinks you were not given a choice and just found yourself dumped..standing near me, I always find myself looking for you. I am always looking for you… finding my way to you… and guess what? You are always easy to find. One look, and I know where you are. Funny, right? How you think I played you, and how I think I’m played at. How you think I have you in the palm of my hands, and how I thought you put me under a spell”

Geun Suk looked at that girl sitting beside him. She had not spoken a word since it was his turn to talk. She didn’t show any sign of disappointment…frustration…anger… she didn’t show any emotion at all.

This is not looking good. She’s beginning to hide again.

Then, he heard her say, “Kwaenchana?”

She’s trying to divert the conversation. She doesn’t want to talk about it anymore.

“Ani.. I’m not”

Upon hearing his words, she instinctively looked at him. “But you said..”

“I know what I said, and I just realized, why try to hide it. I’m not ok. And I don’t think I will be. I hid for some time. I’m tired of hiding. I’m tired of letting them do what they’re doing now. I am not a pawn in this game. They wanted to play. I will play their game”.

“Oppa.. don’t. Let them say whatever it is that they want to say. Le them think of you that little. It’s easier to prove them wrong if they see you like that. Make it to your advantage, Oppa. Work your way to it. You show them what that dream looks like.”

Geun Suk smiled, shook his head and held that girl’s hand. Surprised, Shin Hye tried to pull away, but he held her close.

“What will I do if I did not see you that day?”


“I guess, I have no other way but to find you myself. Ani.. I don’t think they will simply let it go. They want to play with me, so they will definitely put you in front of me, and they will take all their time laughing at how stupid I look when I was looking at you. I’ll give them that. They can laugh anyway they want, but I’m still thankful. And yes, you’re worth every effort.. every second of playing.. fighting in that game”


Geun Suk raised their clasped hands and said, “this is how that dream looks like. You and me, this way”


Geun Suk smiled. “You better be there when I achieved that dream. Aniya.. that dream will not be achieved if you’re not there”


“Regarding the other dream, will you be there… every step of the way.. until I show them how it looks like?”


“Champs-Elysees, will you be there?”

“Oppa…” confused, Shin Hye shook her head.

“I’m holding you responsible. Let go of me, and you will see me back in the street.. in the pub… talking back at them..”

“Ha.. This is insane. You are crazy, Oppa”

“Call me whatever you want”

“You’re not a kid. Stop acting like one”

“I’ve mentioned it, right? I’m selfish. I want you. I want you with me. I can be anyone, just to make sure you’re here with me”

“You’re blackmailing me”


“Ha! And what made you think that I will do as I was told. I don’t care whether you go back to the street.. I don’t care..”

“Don’t you?”

“Oppa! This is not fair”

“I didn’t say it is”

“I’m out of here”

Geun Suk did not say a word. Shin Hye surprised of the sudden silence, looked back at that guy.
She saw him put the key on the ignition and stared the engine.

“What are you doing?”

“Driving you home”


“I thought… you’re right, why would you care?”


“You’re not responsible… I’m not holding you responsible”

“Ahhh! Stop the car. I can’t think.”

Geun Suk grinned, stopped the car and sat there silently.

“What are you doing?”

“Giving you time to think”



“Ok… I’m not mad at you anymore..”

“Hm..”, Geun Suk said, nodding his head.

“Hm?”, Shin Hye repeated, gauging his reaction.



“You were saying something…”

“But, I don’t think I can see you anymore. I’m not mad at you…” she was about to say something when the engine started again.”what are you doing?”

“I’m bringing you home”


“Ha! I told you I’m selfish. I’d rather have you mad at me, than have you far away from me”

“Oppa, this is ridiculous”

“ Yeah.. I guess. But we can’t do anything about it”

“Aissh! Stop the car!”


“But I told you everything…”


“Don’t you think it will be too awkward to even be put together in one place, knowing that you’ve heard all those things that I said?”

“I also told you how I felt”

‘Exactly the point. Oppa, saying things like that is like drawing a line. It’s like setting a closure”

“Is that what you did? Put a closure on this?”

‘It’s supposed to be like that, right?




“But I told you before I put everything out.. I told you after this, we will pretend that we didn’t know each other”

“I did not agree to it.”

“But you did not stop me from saying those things. You should have stopped me, if you’re not willing to let it end”

“I didn’t have any intention to end it this way, or in any other way”

“Aissh! I’m not playing this game with you”, she said, with finality in her voice.

Here, she comes again. Why does he feel too scared whenever he comes face to face with this one? Ha!

Think, Geun Suk.. Think.. There must be a way out.

And as they were looking beyond the windshield, their eyes glued to the night sky… as one star seemed to sacrifice itself and fall down the sky, they both closed their eyes and made a wish.

Ten seconds or twenty after, Geun Suk opened his eyes, a smile on his lips.

“What are you smiling at?”,

“ Dream…. Responsibility… Closure”


“You’re my dream. The two of us together is my dream”


“And I am making you responsible, not only of my heart, but of my life as well. I don’t care whether you care or not…”


“And I’m giving you you’re closure”

Shin Hye blinked her eyes twice.. thrice, not believing those words.

And then, in a speed as fast as lightning, she saw Geun Suk’s hand offered in front of her, his eyes with a smile “Jang Geun Suk”

And as fast as the beating of her heart, she saw herself accepting that hand, hers enclosed in his, as she said, “Park Shin Hye”

And with that night, the pain and heartaches of the previous years were put in a close.
A new beginning is starting to make its path.
She’s taking responsibility of his heart..
And he on hers, without her knowing it.
And as their wish were played in the silence of the night…
The stars were singing together with their hearts…

“Grant them that dream…
Their eyes for each other
hands clasped together…
Their hands holding one another…
Maybe not today…
Not tomorrow…
But, in time…. It will be..”


Chapter 37: (S)laying of Heart

“And you might have not loved me the way you have told me before”

And just like that, the invisible glass was shattered
And they are treading that dangerous zone… again.

Shin Hye closed her eyes the moment she realized the words that just escaped her lips. She bit her lips, reached for the car handle and said in a soft voice, “I’ll take a cab from here”.

“I do.” She heard him whispered, his hands clutched on the steering wheel.

She had a feeling that she needed to escape, to fly away from here… for the things and the words that will be said next might change the course of how they both were trying to play these things.

She heaved a sigh, would gather the courage to bid her goodbye, but what she saw and heard next broke her heart.

“I love you. I do. That’s the only thing I’m certain of”, and then, she thought she was just imagining it, but she saw tears sliding down his cheeks.

She wanted to reach for him… to stop him from hurting. He was in pain, and he’s hiding way too long that he’s slowly breaking down in front of her.

She hated the pain that he’s in and her cowardice in doing what she long wanted to do.
She cared for him. She still does. And it hurts her seeing him like this.

Shin Hye just looked at him, and when she felt tears running down her cheeks, she bit her lips trying to fight the sobs. She felt too restrained.. too trapped… too hurt. She looked away, wanting to invite logic to play its part, but sanity and logic might have gone away together, for there she saw herself, helpless, scared, looking at nothing in particular.

Geun Suk couldn’t find the right word to say, or if ever there is even the right word to say. He knows there is a battle inside the confined of his car; battles that were launched amidst the silence deafening their ears. Wounds were forced open, words were trying to find their release. They were both hoping to make something intelligent from this. But damn logic.. damn fear… how could someone be able to think when their hearts are beginning to shatter into pieces… the mere casualties of this war. His heart and hers were always on the line.

There hasn’t been anything safe, anywhere safe when both of them were placed one next to the other. Or has there been anywhere safe the moment they met that afternoon at her space? They were like tip toeing along the lines of bomb, careful.. too careful to acknowledge anything concerning them both.

Why is it too difficult to just say what they both wanted to say? To hear what they both were longing to hear. It’s not as if they will be married the following day. It’s not as if they will be causing the end of the world the moment they admitted something both of them clearly know what.

I need you. If he would tell her, he will not hurt her again, would she let go of those inhibitions? If he promised to accept and answer to anything thrown at him, will they give him the liberty to love this girl the way he wanted to? He loves her so.. too much that it keeps him wondering at times if jokes like this are thrown to any man in the world, or was he singled out to survive the pain of loving this strong?

“….would be ok”, he caught her last words and saw the faint smile on her lips.

He looked at her blankly, not sue what were said before those words. She might have sense it for she smiled at him and said, “Everything will be ok, Oppa. Trust me”

What has happened from then and now? What has filled the gap between the tears running down her eyes and his silent claim on that girl sitting beside him?

“Will you be there?”, he asked, his eyes not leaving hers.

“Hm?”, she asked back, pretending she didn’t know what was running in his head.

“When everything turns to be ok, will you be there?”, he asked gently.

“I’m always there. Always here. I never left, Oppa”

“Will you?”, he asked again, stubborn as a kid.

Shin Hye smiled, and nodded her head. Then tears begin to pool in her eyes again.

I love you. She heard the silent scream of her heart. I always do.

“It sucks, right?”, she blinked a tear or two when she heard his voice. Did he hear her? Panic started to color her eyes.

He grinned at her; that smile that simply tells her not to be worried. “You wanted to say something, yet you cannot find your voice to say it. Your brain just won’t approve. The pain is just too real that it haunted you until these days.”

“Oppa”, she said, alarm bells started to ring in her ears. She didn’t have the faintest idea that things will take this course today.

“Did I hurt you that bad? Was I such a bastard?”, he said, wiping his face with his hands.

“Oppa, let’s not talk about….”

“I was too careful.. too careful I didn’t even imagine I could play that part. I was too scared of you.. of myself.. for you whenever I’m with you. I tried not to, Shin Hye. God knows I tried not to… “


“It isn’t just fair. I didn’t mean to play… I wanted to play you out…to get you out of that field. You’re too young, and I don’t think you know the rules… and I don’t want you to know the rules… ‘you’re in the wrong field, little girl‘you cannot afford it here’. I keep on telling you silently, but you just won’t listen. You keep on coming back. And I keep on losing my games because I can’t afford to let you in. When I shooed you away, and you didn’t come back the following day, I pretended everything is going smoothly. Until the game bored me. And I saw you on the other field, playing the innocent at the sideline. You were watching them, your harmless playmates… and when you decided to get the jersey on and play it yourself, I will be damned if I will just stand there and watch you getting along with them. Aniya, if you cannot play my field, I’ll play yours. “

“Jang Geun Suk-ssi…”, she said, confused on where this conversation is going.

“And when I started to play it fair, they played their games. And I lost… I lost a lot.. got lost a couple of times.. a thousand of miles… I played by the rule, but they keep on changing it. I played.. yeah… I was glaring in the playing field, but I still abide by the rules. I don’t want them to throw me out. I may have given a yellow card. The game will be over, but I will never leave that field, not until I have you clamped beside me. I might be beaten, but I will not be thrown out”

“Oppa , please…”, she said, her eyes pleading him on what… she didn’t know.

Geun Suk cupped her face, wiped her tears with his thumb and whispered, “I’m sorry I love you. But I am not sorry that I love you. “ then he smiled at the playfulness of his words. “I will stay. I will not go anywhere. Just don’t let them throw me out. I will play the game, fight until the end, just … don’t surrender on me, hm?”

“Hm?”, she asked, a bit confused.

He kissed the tip of her nose, shook his head then said, “they might throw anything at me and I will not give them a second glance. But the moment you have these tears… these creases on your brows… I don’t have any other choice but wave the white flag. You’re my Achilles heel, Princess. One jab.. one tear from your eye, and I’m done”

“Oppa, you’re drunk”, she said, half smiling, half teasing him, her eyes in her heart.

“Are you not scared of me?”

“Ani… why would i?”

“My Little Red Riding Hood, I’m the wolf that you have to be scared of”

“I don’t see you as a wolf. You’re a Prince cursed by a wicked witch”, she said, her heart aching at the way he’s seeing himself.

Geun Suk reached for her, and touched her cheeks. “So will you be the Princess who will kiss me to turn me to that Prince you said I was?”

Startled, Shin Hye’s eyes widened. His eyes locked with hers, waiting for her to push him away.

Their eyes met….

“I will count to three, and I will claim my kiss, Princess. One…”

Fear started to creep down her spine. “But I haven’t asked you to get my golden ball from the pond”, she started to inch towards the passenger door. She saw him unbuckled his seatbelt, his hand not leaving her cheeks.

“You don’t have a golden ball because you’re not the deceitful Princess. You’re my Little Red Riding Hood. My ever innocent, trusting and unsuspecting Little Red Riding Hood. Two”, he was just supposed to tease her…

“But you’re not a wolf”, she said, hand cupping his face.

That’s it. All control went away. “Three.. “he said, held her hand on his cheek and placed it on his heart .

“Oppa, I don’t think”, she whispered, shrinking in her seat, feeling dwarfed by him.

“Good. Don’t think”, and as if that settled all, he slowly neared his face on hers, lightly brush his lips on hers. He kissed her softly, his hand on her face. She closed her eyes, his heart hammering inside his chest.

Tinker Bell seemed to leave Peter Pan in Neverland and showered them with pixie dust. Shin Hye felt the world go in slow motion, her heart stopped beating .

Geun Suk put his arm on the door behind Shin Hye, levering his weight. He kissed her lightly, he didn’t know he’s capable of such kisses.

As their lips touched, fireworks have started exploding, butterflies have flown around them… then, slowly, as if on cue, a tear fell from their eyes… they didn’t think.

For a moment, they both let go.
For a split of second, they tried to let loose from those chains, from that logic which kept them tied down.
For a while, they acted on how such emotions should have been played in movies.

No script. No word.

But not like the movies, this doesn’t simply end with “The End” and a serene sunset on the background.

They both need put their feet back on the ground, and welcome reason and sensibility with open arms.

For a moment, he didn’t want to go back.
For a split of second, she didn’t want to open her eyes.
In a little while, he slowly pulled away, his forehead on hers.

“ I love you”, he whispered.

She closed her eyes, and let her heart dance in joy after hearing those words.
She thanked her senses for taking the back seat for a while.
She smiled, and then slowly she opened her eyes, only to be flushed in embarrassment as she saw him intently looking at her face, his thumb simply touching the corner of her mouth.

“You have “ever after” stamped on your forehead. I got scared the moment I saw the sign. I ran away… ran far away only to be brought back in front of you again and again. The second moment I saw the sign, I smiled and whispered, lucky it was me who read the sign. I am twenty two, you’re nineteen, you’re stuck with me.. with your ever after.”

For a while, he thought this was it. The start of their ever after.
Then, he saw the next sign.
She pulled away from him, a glint of wisdom ticked in her eyes.

Back to the ball game.
Sanity is back, and she didn’t like what she saw.


4* 4th Loop (hole): Turning Back the Hands of Time

“Shin Hye.. Shin Hye”… her Mom called unto her after a few moment of being lost into somewhere.

Shin Hye blinked her eyes once or twice, shook her head then looked at the owner of the voice. “Deh, Eomma?”

“I said, what do you want to eat?”

Shin Hye looked at her Mom, smiled weakly then said, “Eomma, can I be excused? I will eat a bit later. I will just go biking for a while. Can I?”

“Shin Hye-ya..”, her Mom said, worriedly.

“I’m fine, Eomma. I am”, then she stood up and hugged her Mom.

“An hour Shin Hye, and if I will not see you, I will call….”

“I’ll be here, Eomma. Don’t worry”, she said, not wanting to hear what her Eomma will be saying after that.

She stepped outside of the house, stared at a far away distance, took Pixie from the garage, then paused at the porch. Somewhere around that area, someone is watching her. A pair of eyes was not leaving her face, and that familiar warmth enveloped her being. She did a brief glance at that side, and was not surprised to find him parked at that distance.

7.30am. Still too early for him to wake up on days like these. What time did he wake up to come here this early? Did he even go back home last night?

She saw him last night before she went to bed. It was already in the middle of the night. She was not sleepy yet, but seeing him parked at the opposite curb made her want to resign to bed that early, hoping that he will go back after he sees her room light turned off.

What happened? What simply happened between them?

Somewhere along the way, between the start and the on going days of this year, from Team H launching and TGRO7 premier, from start and end of FBND, somewhere between those time, something has gone wrong. They might be too busy to notice, too lost in schedules, too involved in so many things, that the usual sweet dreams’ and dream of me’s have changed to good night’s, the I love you’s have come to how are you’s, the I miss you’s became where are you’s, the can I see you’s changed to see you’s .. tonight… later.. maybe not today… maybe next week.. when I’m sober enough… when my day’s free.. when we’re both free.

Somewhere along those lines, someone might have stopped a moment, looked back, looked not too far away.. and when she did not see nor feel his presence, she looked further back, only to find out that they were too far away… far to see nor hear what each other is feeling.

She stopped, paused, slowed down. She inched her way a little, hoping to catch up with him.. hoping that he will slow down as well and find some time to see what’s happening between them. She waited. She stayed. Until one day, while she’s nearing that line separating her from him, separating her pride and her ever giving self, she stopped at that point, stared at that guy, wondering if ever he even noticed the distance that is now in between them.

She looked at him from afar. Nothing seemed to be wrong. He’s laughing. He’s having fun. She tried to close her eyes, trying to read what it is that he’s feeling. Nothing.

Nothing. She didn’t feel nor hear a thing. He’s fine. He’s doing just fine.

Nothing. Then she paused. Her world trembled. Something seems wrong but he seems just right.

Nothing. Then she looked at herself. Nothing. Nothing seems wrong and everything is doing just fine.

Nothing. Yet, she feels scared. Lost.

She was looking at herself, having a feel of herself, when somewhere along that brief encounter with the reality, someone pulled her out again, waking her up and making her play her part for the other world where she lives in.

At the premier of TGRO7, she was waiting.. waiting for him, only to be left disappointed when he did not show up.
And somewhere along the screening, at one point, she imagined herself meeting him and watching the movie together.
She waited and waited, but it did not happen.

FBND has started. And ended, but she didn’t hear anything special from him.
She waited and waited, until finale and special interviews were out, but nothing.

Her name has been entangled with her chingu.. interviews with him and with her will always include his and her name. She smiled, scolding herself for the childishness of hoping to hear him rant on his possessiveness and jealousy… still, nothing.

The question of ideal. The charming ryu seung ryeong and the pretty boy Jang Geun Suk. None, she said. And he said, nothing.

His name and that name appeared in her first tour. She was hoping to receive a call after the not so smart answer… silence.

Nothing. And the nothing stretch until silence does not feel too comforting.

Until silence feels a bit scary.. a bit out of tune.. then that “a bit” slowly becomes too much.
And the too much becomes too disturbing.. the disturbance appeared to be a bit normal..
That a bit normal.. becomes a bit too normal..
Then, the silence and the nothing becomes the peg setting.
And the awkwardness and the nothing and the silence become normal.

That it came to a point that when she received a call from him, the usual “Oppa!”with a shriek is changed to, “yes.. hm.. hm.. arasseo. Good night”

The bantering and talking until midnight became a one-minute how are you’s and the surprised visits became too surprising that she would at times paused and stare at him at their doorsteps, not sure how to face nor start a conversation with him.

The day starts and ends just like how her normal day would go.

She had breakfast with her Eomma, slept a couple of hours more upto mid afternoon, finished some papers due in school, played with Bongji and Nori, then checked her phone, and smiled unknowingly when he saw his tweet.

She walked back to Han, with Nori and Bongji in tow.

She read his messages, shaking her head, laughing, despising the attempt to make the announcement of those signature things laughable. Others would definitely bash him again, but knowing him.. he definitely would not…

Knowing him… knowing him… does she still know him?

She smiled a bitter-sweet one, then after a minute or two, she looked at the Han again.

He attended a wedding.. just like what she did last time.
What he did the other time, and what she did the time before that.

Things are going in circle. But the circle keeps on going on its own.
It forgot the idea of oneness.. of two persons becoming one.. that their circles, their comfort zones would intertwine, that once, their two spaces become the same and one… until it sees the difference… the need to see the difference and then suddenly, the common zones became narrower and smaller, until it suddenly became entirely different, that the point where the hook is holding both circles together became the only connection between the two.

At that day of my wedding, do you think you can spare some time to be there for me?

Shin Hye smiled. A tear dropped from her eyes. She hasn’t cried for some time.
She’s too busy.. too involved.. too scared to be involved.
The idea of finally come to realization.. the acceptance.. and the idea touching your emotions is too scary.
The tear should not have been there. That simply strengthen the truth.. the reality that they are slowly becoming nothing.

Will you be there for me.. at my wedding?

She heaved a deep breath..

The promise of a happy ending somehow has taken a shift.
A special day with him… could he be there… not with her… but for her..

The shrewdness of her playfulness in words.. sometimes is amazing… but at this point, it simply is painful.

“It is best to have a walk at times like this”


3* Third Loop

Everyone wants a piece of my Princess.
Do you think she’s gracious enough to give a lowly man like me an hour or two?

Shin Hye smiled as she read that message.

Why is this lowly man asking for this ordinary girl’s opinion?
Can’t he ask her himself?
I wouldn’t know.. I probably wouldn’t know.
And besides, I’m kind of lost of who among his Princesses he is talking about.

Send. Shin Hye looked at her phone, smiling, probably out of her mind to wave that red flag at this time of the day.

For goodness sake. It’s only 7 in the morning. Why is he up this early?

Shin Hye lied down on the bed again, smiling at nothing in particular. Aniya, it’s not that mornings like this is becoming rare and rare, but the idea that Geun Suk is also in the same soil that she is is somehow comforting… the idea that they are in the same time zone, waking up in the same side of the globe is quite new.. rare.

Two minutes. Five. Ten.

Still no reply.

“Aisshhh!”, Shin Hye tossed her phone, and rumpled her hair. “Just like that.. simply like that and it’s called off. Jinja Oppa! Can’t you try harder, pretend a little that you understand that sometimes I also need to feel being chase after. Aissh! Jinja!”

With fire in her eyes, Shin Hye searched for her phone again, and immediately sent a message.

Found the courage to ask the Princess; hence, no time to say thank you to this ordinary girl.
I hate you, Oppa!

And with that, Shin Hye officially dropped her phone somewhere, went straight to her bathroom, and prepare for her, and her “alone” day to begin.

She was running from her room, her hair tied in pony tail, a sweatpants and loose shirt, ready for her biking routine, when she remembered breakfast specifically served today.

“Eomma!” she called as she was going down the stairs.

“Going somewhere, Alice”, her Mom asked, as she saw her taking the last step down.

Shin Hye just pouted, and shook her head. “ Will just do some biking and might probably think of other things to do later”

“Don’t have any schedule today”

Shin Hye shook her head, still with that pout, hug her Mom from behind, and as they were walking towards the kitchen, she was saying, “no schedule, but no one would want to play with me. “

“Find a playmate, and his head will definitely roll down the ground”

Shin Hye’s eyes automatically flew to that corner, her face paled, then flushed upon seeing that guy holding a bowl of scrambled egg, a frying pan on one hand, and deadly glare in his eyes.

“Oppa!”, was all she could utter.

“Good morning, Princess”, he said, with a curt.

Shin Hye tightened her grip to her Eomma, her legs backing off, while her Mom was just smiling at both of them.

“I’ll leave you both for a while. I need to continue with the necklaces that I am preparing for the next fan meeting. Geun Suk, are you sure it’s ok to leave you in the kitchen?”

“Deh, Jangmonin. Just don’t forget to leave your Princess as well. I have this gut feeling that she will be flying out of this kitchen at any moment”, Geun Suk smiled sweetly at Mrs. Park, then returned his icy eyes to that girl.

‘Eomma..”, Shin Hye whispered, as if asking for help.

“I’ll leave you two here. I don’t want to see blood on my kitchen floor, Geun Suk”, her Mom said teasingly.

“No worries, Jangmonin. If ever there will be, I will clean them myself before you witness the end story of the murder that is about to happen”

“Yah! Oppa!”

“Scared, Princess?”

“Eomma”, Shin Hye called unto her Mom’s retreating back.

She was left standing there, fiddling with her fingers, not sure on what to do or say.

“Sit!”, that guy said without looking at her.

Shin Hye almost tumbled down as she immediately pulled a chair and settled herself.

Closing her eyes, calming her nerves, trying to figure out why she is scared, and when she come to the conclusion that she did not do anything wrong to be treated like a problem child, she opened her eyes in a flash, ready for her attack.

But what she saw next disarmed her. Geun Suk was standing opposite her, a plate of her favorite dishes in one hand, a hot cup of chocolate drink on the other, while his eyes are settled on her face. His face was tilted as if reading her thoughts, and the moment her eyes met his, his gaze softened, his lips with a smile.

“what did I do?”, he started without removing his eyes from hers, while setting her breakfast on the table. “I didn’t do anything? Are you sure?”

As if they both can read the mind of the other, Shin Hye just looked at him, and slowly nodded her head, then shook it, as if emphasizing her words. “Didn’t do anything..”

“Maybe I read it wrongly.. maybe I heard it wrongly. I guess you’re declaring a war”

Guilty. Shin Hye bowed her head, cutting the connection between their eyes. And then as stubborn as she is, with no hint of remorse, she lifted her head again, challenging that guy “Wae? I just said why not ask the Princess. And then, you did not dare reply after”

“Maybe I decided to do as I was told. Why not ask the Princess herself”

“And have you?”

“Haven’t given the chance yet”

“And why are you here?”

“Ah.. we’re still back on that game. I think I should be the one to be a bit shaken, insecure at the moment. I think I deserve to pull out that rant at this point, insecure”

“I am not insecure!”, she said, her childish self channeling immediately.

“I didn’t say you were. I said, I suppose I should be”

“You didn’t say I am, but you implied”

“Hm…”, Geun Suk said, nodding his head, while pulling the chair opposite her. “And, may I ask if my Princess did not feel a bit insecure when she threw at me the question of my Princess’ identity”

“How would I know?”

“How would you know if you feel insecure?”

“How would I know who among us girls you are referring to?”

“This is not funny… not even a bit. Are you playing with me, or you simply wanted me to chase after you?”

About to feel guilty, her head shoot up that moment she heard his next words. “You were inside my room?”

“Did you see me there?”

Shin Hye blinked her eyes twice or thrice, and with fire starting to flare in her eyes, Geun Suk immediately backed off. “I was outside. And I was not spying at you, if that’s the reason for those fire. I just happen to pass by… actually, was about to call you, when I witness… heard the silent monologue again”, he said, rubbing the back of his neck, aware of the sudden turnaround of events.


“Guilty as charged. I want you to chase after me, Oppa”, she said lowering her eyes.

Geun Suk lifted his head, smiled, then said, “So, there’s no need to recite my vow? To assure you the very least that you are the only one… that I haven’t laid eyes on anyone since I saw you that day”

“Ani… ani.. remove that phrase. It’s not as if you have your eyes only on me since that day. We both know that’s not true”

“Oh, so aside from the renewal of vow, do we need to do another history review… count that number of girls that I’ve met..

“and was with”, she added

“ok.. so was with since that blessed afternoon. Do I need to spell out their names and enumerate those instances you’ve met each one of them?”


“Wae? You’re the common denominator of them all. At one point or another, each one of them has met you. Can you imagine that? You’re the only constant thing in my life.. well save for my Eomma and Appa..”

“And Team H”

“Are you also insecure of Team H”

“Yah! I told you I’m not insecure”.

Geun Suk simply ignored that one, then gearing back to the problem at hand.. “Princess, will you please, for your goodness sake, not put your name together with the word girls in one sentence. You’re not supposed to be in a place with the others”

“Wae? Because I’m insecure?”, she said with a pout, suddenly hurt by those words.

“Aisshh!”, Geun Suk took her hand, played with it, then slowly met her eyes then said, “Because they are not worth mentioning when you’re name is already there”

“So you’re sweet talking me now?”, she said, with defiance.

Geun Suk’s jaw dropped, sometimes getting crazy with the way this girl’s mind work. And when he’s about to loosen his hold on her, he saw her smiled then said, “I love you, my Frog Prince”

“Ha!”, Geun Suk closed his eyes, smiled, then said arrogantly, ‘I am now the Asia Prince, but still the Frog Prince to your standard”

“You might be their Asia Prince, but you will always be my Frog Prince. You surprised me to be someone I really hate upfront. You bully me after, persuade me that you are a Prince”

“Your Prince”

“Yeah, my Prince.. then you dare me to kiss you so you can transform into the Prince that I dreamed of”

“And I become that dream, am I not?”

“Minus the smoking and the drinking”

“We can sort that out”

Shin Hye smiled, suddenly remembering those years that were.

“I am not your ideal, you said”

“Not the pretty boy-type Jang Geun Suk, I said”, knowing in an instant what it was he was referring to.

“So I am?”

“You are insecure”, she said, teasingly, and was taken aback when he whispered, “I am”


“I might be conceited at times..”

“A lot of times”

“Ok, a lot of times, but when it comes to you, I don’t think I’m even at par to someone you simply deserve”

“That’s total humility, I see”, she said, smiling at him.

“Simply the truth”

“I love you. Do I need to renew the vow as well?”

Geun Suk smiled, then shook his head. “Ani… I want to hear it on that day.. that day when you will officially be mine”

“So we’re not yet official”

Geun Suk’s face suddenly stiffened and in his low voice, commanded, “Eat, before the food gets cold”

“And where is your plate, Mr. Jang? Don’t tell me you’ll be full by simply seeing me eat, because if you dare say that, this plate will definitely fly “

“Ha. Don’t be too conceited Princess. I do the cooking, so it is your responsibility to feed me. Ah”, he said as he opened his mouth.

“Aisssh!”, she pretended to be annoyed, as she smiled, feeding that guy.

“Ah cham, I heard, the other flower boy still hasn’t given up after the call I gave him during the Etude House series”

“Hm.. nugu?”, she asked, while slicing the sausages.

“The heir”, then he smirked, the red flag waving again.


Chapter 36: False Pretense

“I guess we have something to talk about”, he said in between gritted teeth, and pulled that girl outside of that place… hoping to keep his self in control before he finally explodes.

Geun Suk pulled Shin Hye outside of the venue, barely registering in mind anything that they passed by. His grip on her wrist was too tight, his mind processing a thousand things, unaware that he was almost dragging that girl with him.

“Oppa…”, Shin Hye said, trying to call his attention.

“Two minutes, Shin Hye. Give me two minutes”, was all he said without looking at her.
As they reached the parking lot, Geun Suk opened the passenger’s seat, still without looking at her, said, “Get in”

“Where to?”, she asked, getting a bit irritated on this treatment.

“Get in”, he repeated coldly, his eyes on the ground.

Shin Hye bit her lower lip, sighed then proceeded inside.

Within five seconds, the guy was able to reach the driver’s seat, and in two second after that, the car was zooming outside of that area. Geun Suk glanced at his watch, closed his eyes, chewed his lips, then remain silent throughout the drive.

Shin Hye simply looked at him, noticed the dark circles underneath his eyes, the strain on his face, his grip on the steering wheel, as if he didn’t want to let it go.

She let out a deep sigh again, looked at her watch, smiled weakly, then looked outside the window. She hugged herself, the coldness of winter seeping through her vein was not the reason though. The silence inside the car, his silence is leaving her too cold.

“Are you cold?”, he finally broke the silence, adjusting the heater, still without looking at her.

She simply nodded her head, tried to search his eyes; still he’s too angry.. too coward… too unsure of all of these things.

She shook her head afterwards, her patience reaching her limit, but she didn’t want to lose it all. At least, until she found out that everything is ok with him. She glanced at her watch again. Thirty minutes after nine. Still a bit early, but with the way things are going, she’s doubting whether they can finish a good five minutes of pleasantries.

“Do you need to be home early?”, he asked, his eyes on the road.

She shook her head, her eyes on him.


Five minutes after…

“Fifteen minutes…”, she whispered, without looking at him.

“Hm?”, he asked, giving her a swift glance, then as if he cannot dare look at her, averted his eyes again and concentrated on his driving.

“It’s been fifteen minutes since you dragged me out of that place…. “, she continued, guarding her tongue and her patience.


“Will you stop the car?”, she said, a bit irritated.

She saw him gripped the steering wheel tighter, his knuckles turning white.

“Oppa….”, she said, pleading him to talk.

“What are you doing at the bar?”, he asked, anger evident in his cold voice.

“Stop the car…”, she countered, coldly.

Geun Suk looked at her, bit his lips, and after seconds of uncertainties, he let out a devious laugh.

“hana…”, she said, pissed off of the way he’s treating her.

“mwo?”, he said, looking back at her.

“dul…”, she continued, looking at her hand holding her handbag.

Geun Suk let out a curse then abruptly stopped the car. Shin Hye heaved a sigh, and without looking at him, grabbed the handle of the door. But before her hand could pull the handle, another hand wrapped hers, holding it. She looked at their hands, and waited for him to say something.


After five seconds or ten, still without hearing anything from him, she tried to reach for the handle again, making his hand hold onto hers tighter.


When her other hand closed into a fist and her reflection in the car window showed her cold eyes, her teeth biting her lower lip, she heard him say, “Mian….”

Shin Hye closed her eyes, waiting for him to say more.

When she thought she would be disappointed, she heard him continued, his hands pulling hers from the handle. “Can we talk?”

“I’m listening…”

She saw him smiled at her peripheral.


Shin Hye just looked at him, urging him to continue.

She saw him closed his eyes, as if trying really hard to control something.
Then, in a voice laced with too much control, he asked without looking at her, “What are you doing at the bar?”.

Shin Hye smiled, and liking the indecisiveness in the guy sitting next to her, she answered coldly, “Who are you talking to? Your hands?”

The guy was surprised, his face immediately facing hers. She saw him smiled sardonically, shook his head, then said, “My little girl is growing up”

“Continue with mocking me, and you’ll definitely talk to your fingers later”

“Park Shin Hye!”, he shouted, as if his self control has left him in that instant.

“Wae?”, she said, fear absence in her teasing eyes.

Geun Suk closed his eyes once more, ran his fingers through his hair, then slowly faced her, and continued, “What are you doing at the bar?”

“Am I not allowed to go there?”,she answered, her eyes meeting his.

She saw him swallowed, as if controlling his every nerve from exploding.

“Will you please answer me properly?”

“How do you want me to answer it? What do you want to hear?”

“What are you doing there?”, he repeated, his voice warm.

“I was with Kurt, you saw us, right?”, she answered her eyes never leaving his. She saw him flinched, still he did not remove his eyes from her. She wanted to stop this charade, but the way his acting is really getting into her nerves. “He asked me out”, she saw his hands closed into a fist. She’s starting to feel guilty about this, still she continued, “he told me he’ll pick me up from the agency and will go to that area. Is there something wrong with that?”, she asked, her eyes focused on his hands.

The hands raked his hair again. She saw him closed his eyes, looked at his watch, then, started the engine again.

Startled, Shin Hye exclaimed, “Where are we going?”

“I’ll bring you home. It’s getting late”

“I thought we’re going to talk”

“We have talked enough. I’ve said what I wanted and I’ve heard what I was praying so hard not to hear from you”

Shin Hye laughed. Geun Suk looked at her with questioning eyes. “I can’t see anything funny in this!”, he said, too frustrated.

“You are. You’re funny, Oppa”.

Geun Suk stopped the engine. Rubbed his hands on his face, then laughed crazily.
“I look like a fool, ain’t i?”


He shook his head, smiling. “Is he kind to you?”, he asked, trying to avoid her eyes.

“You know him more that I do. He is, right?”

He simply nodded his head. And with the effort of pushing away his pain, he asked, “How long have you been seeing each other?”

Shin Hye let out a chuckle. This Geun Suk sitting beside him is quite new to her. “Earlier. Around five hours ago. He asked me to meet him at the ice cream shop in front of my school”

“Hm..”, he said, nodding his head, his hands made another round in his hair.


Seeing the strain on his face, and remembering the scandal that he’s in, she closed her eyes, and tried to concentrate on the matter at hand.

“Kwaenchana?”, she asked, trying to look for his eyes.

“Yes…”, he said, looking back at her. Then in a blink of an eye, she saw the pain written on those orbs. She didn’t know that he’s hurt this much. “yes..”, he repeated as if trying to convince his self. Then when he finally sees her eyes, he continued… “no… no… no… I’m not ok”

“Oppa…” she asked,worriedly.

“Mian… I thought I’ll be a good sport.. I am.. I was actually.. but I don’t think I can with you..”

“Eh?”, she asked, confused.

“Shin Hye… can you not see him? I promise I won’t say anything to remind you of what I feel. I’ll be your Oppa, no more than that. I will treat you as my dongsaeng. If there is really a need for one of us to see someone else, I”ll find someone. If you’re ok with it, I’ll find someone. Just don’t see someone else, yet. You’re not yet ready, right? You don’t want to commit yet, right? I won’t push you. I will wait. Just don’t… please.. don’t …”


“Shin Hye, I gave you the space you’re asking for. I didn’t ask for anything. I waited for you… I didn’t know Kurt…”

Shin Hye narrowed her eyes, and when it suddenly dawned to her, she smiled shyly.. teasingly, then started, “Kurt called me out today, saying he wanted to grab a cone”. She paused a little watching him shifted his position, as if not comfortable with the story she’s relaying to him. “Do I still need to continue?”, she asked a bit disoriented on the way he’s acting.

“I’m listening…”, he said curtly.


“Then..” he cut her in, asking her to proceed.

“I met her at the shop. He ordered some ice cream.”, she saw him closed his eyes, as if trying to control to sudden surge of emotion. She smiled, watching him. Not that tormenting him like this could give light to her eyes, but knowing that he still cares.. he still concerns.. he still lov… no.. andwae.. might not be that deep. He might just missed the old times… those times when all she has is him.. and his is hers. She paused again, suddenly her emotions getting a hold of her. The roller coaster ride.. are we going there again? Holding our hopes up, to be shattered once again after a minute or two. She closed her eyes in a flash of raw emotions cutting deep into her, then in a slight movement at her right, she was reminded of why she decided to meet Kurt today, or to even be dragged outside of that place with this guy.
She then heaved a sigh,opened her eyes and looked at him. “Kurt Oppa told me that someone he knew was roaming the streets of Seoul to find an array of ice cream. I didn’t know where he was leading to, but somehow, somewhere along his words, I felt a familiar pinch in my heart..”

She stopped. Geun Suk looked at her. She smiled, then averted her eyes. “I saw the news this morning…’, she trailed off.

She saw him shook his head; still, he did not offer any word.
“Kwaenchana?”, she asked, looking at him.

The guy simply smiled.” I’m fine.. I’m good”

“Kwaenchana?”, she asked again, her eyes not leaving his.

Geun Suk looked at her, irritation drawing its color on his eyes. He laughed… he shook his head, and that was all.

“Kwaenchana?”, she repeated, her eyes probing his, her teeth biting her bottom lip.

“I am!”, he blurted.. angry… annoyed… she couldn’t put a finger to which exactly he is feeling right now. But she’s not blind. She can read his eyes, in as much as he can read hers.

“I am going home”, she said, her eyes now fixed on the dashboard.

“Damn it, Shin Hye. Don’t play with me?”, he hissed, his nose flaring with anger.

Shin Hye froze. Her eyes as wide as saucers. She was surprised.. scared… she hasn’t seen him like this. Then she heard him uttered, ‘Mian.. mian… I guess I’m ruining it all.. mian…”He kept on saying it without looking at her.


“You saw me today, right? I’m doing fine. How could I even manage the stunt that I pulled in there if I am not? Everyone else knows I’m fine.”

“I’m not everyone else”, she whispered, this cold mask getting deeply into her nerves.

He ignores that statement. “ The press is just exaggerating it…”

“And they’re hurting you in simply doing that exaggeration.”


“Kurt..”, he started.

“Kurt is just acting as a friend that you’ve known him for long. Don’t be too unreasonable, Oppa, and turn it away from the subject that we are dealing here with”, she continued, almost hysterical.


“I was still mad… at myself.. on you.. on whatever it is that we have, if we ever have something. I still couldn’t understand any of it. I told you I will try to think it through, and may be after I settled everything… anything.. I’ll be in contact with you again. You know what, Oppa? I still haven’t cleared anything. I don’t think I have even finished one argument laid on me, because in answering one question, I was led to another and another, which at the end will bring me back to my first question. I don’t even want to start thinking again…”

“Shin Hye..”

“I tried to shut my world off.. really getting tired of thinking.. considering… assessing.. then one bright morning, when I was about to start my make believe world, the news on you suddenly struck me, and I found you closing your world as well”

“Shin Hye, I’m fine”

“yes, and pigs can fly… Oppa, this is Shin Hye.. I am Shin Hye.. could we drop the act? When I see your photos on the news today, I saw you teasing them all…. They might laugh at you.. play with you.. but I read the charade, Oppa… and I hate it. I hate you for trying to close your world like that”

“I am not closing my world! Stop it, Shin Hye.. We’re not going anywhere here”, he bit out harshly, his hands trembling.

Shin Hye felt her tears making their way down her cheeks. She heaved a sigh, and just simply look at him.”

“Stop crying. For goodness sake, stop crying”

“I am not, Oppa.. I am not crying, in the same way that you are not hurting”

She heard him curse something, then silence once again enveloped the interior of his car.

“Look at me Oppa!”, she said, demanding his attention. “I am smiling… I should not be hurting, right? Look at me Oppa… I might be crying for joy, who knows”, then, unknowingly, her hands started opening and closing.

“Stop it.. “, he said, his eyes closed.

“Wae? Why can’t you look at me? Because you see right through me, Oppa. And you know that it’s hurting me seeing you like this”

“And it damn well making you uncomfortable fighting your urge to run away and get through this once and for all. You are hurting for me, and upto this point, you’re still not sure on why you’re feeling like that”


“Shin Hye, stop hurting yourself for me. I may not be worth it. Who would have known? They might be right all about it.. all about me.. I might be that shallow.. that empty”

“I am not hearing any of this”, she said in resignation.

“Why? Are you too disappointed that I am what they are painting me to be? Mian.. I might not be that person you thought I was”

“And you might have not loved me the way you have told me before”

And just like that, the invisible glass was shattered
And they are treading that dangerous zone… again.


2* Second Loop

(Ooh Boy) inneun geudaero saenggakhae bwa
(Hey Boy) boineun daero nal barabwajwo
(My Boy) geopumcheoreom geojit mameul
Bubble Bubble Bubble Pop!
Bubble Bubble Pop! Pop!

The music suddenly stopped and Shin Hye looked at the direction of the studio’s sound system.

“Oppa, wae?”, she asked Jun Oppa with knitted eyebrow.

“You need to rest. You still haven’t breathe a little after the photoshoots this morning… Shin Hye-ya, you can say you’re tired.. no one will get mad at you”, Manager Jun said, shaking his head.

“I’m fine, Oppa. Jinja…”, she said, smiling to ease the worry in her manager’s eyes.

“Shin Hye-ya”

“Kwaechana… aisssh… Oppa, I know when to stop…. I just can’t…. don’t want to stop now… I’m fine, jinja…”, she said, knowing that this is exactly what she wanted at this point.

Strike while the iron is still hot… where did she hear that? Ah, that doesn’t matter. Shin Hye was jinja thankful that she’s finally being noticed. Hay…. Ten years, and finally….

She turned on the music again, and while dancing to the tune of Genie, the music suddenly stopped.. again, and as she slowed down her movement, closing her eyes, she smiled, then said, “Jinja…”


“Oppa… chebal”, she said, giggling, while still not opening her eyes.

The guy simply smirked and stood with his back leaning against the wall, waiting for that girl to open her eyes.

“I thought you have rehearsal today”, she said, shaking her head, smiling.

“Yah!”, that guy finally spoke, wondering how that girl figured out who he is.

“You thought you can trick me, hm?”, she said then as she turned around, before seeing his face, she uttered, “How’s the music composing thing?”, and then acted as if surprised when she saw someone different from what she supposed is expecting.

Geun Suk just narrowed his eyes, looked at that girl, shook his head then said, “Wrong room, I guess…”, and was about to turn away, when he caught the smiled in her eyes.

“You’re playing with me, aren’t you?”, he said, straightening his stance, eyeing that girl.

“Ani… I was really expecting someone else, and somehow wondered when I see you there instead.”



“Drop the pretense, chingu…”

Shin Hye almost dropped down when she heard what he has just called her.

“You were not my chingu…”

“And never your best namja chingu, I heard. After I lifted you to the pedestal of Hong Ki and Kurt, I was still not your best chingu… not even a chingu”

“Ah.. you have better reminded me of that…. I was lifted to that pedestal, you said? The little bugger, the soul sister was lifted to the pedestal of being the best friend. I guess I forgot to thank you on that, have I, Geun Suk-ssi?”

“That interview, I guess, is history, Shin Hye-ssi. And as far as I could remember, that one is a closed case. But the one that I have just mentioned, the chingu who suddenly became the best chingu.. the namja chingu.. which, interview after interview, is escalating to one level to the next…. The rumored namjachingu… boyfriend.. one word, so, I heard?”, he said, while walking lazily towards that girl.

“What can I do, Oppa? If questions suddenly shifted to that tone… should I suddenly pause, and insert Jang Geun Suk-ssi in the scene. I guess we’re doing good on it. I haven’t heard my name either in all of your promotions..”

“And not of any single name, I suppose.. which makes me, I guess, a bit better, don’t you think? No mentioning of name, rather than having one single name popping up in every interview”

“And, I guess, the name is coming every now and then, having half of Korea, speculating, as I’ve read, that we are indeed a couple. We do look good, don’t you think?”

“Ah.. my little bugger has grown up indeed. Where did you learn to answer like that?”

“I have a great teacher, I heard…”

“And this chingu of yours.. I heard, you really do look good together, coming from the Princess herself. Should I be hurt and call it quits then?”

“Ha.. call it quits? How can I be fair? I haven’t started yet, Oppa.. not even started… considering the roller coaster ride that you set me up in… nine years?”

“Oh.. so the chingu thing, based on this line of reasoning, is actually a way of coming back to me, is that it?”

“We do look good, don’t we?”

“I guess that one has been established for years already”

Shin Hye wrinkled her forehead, somehow got lost somewhere in that conversation.

Did he just admit that we look good together?

“Lost in your line of argument, little missy?”

Shin Hye blinked once.. twice, then, gearing back to the battlefield, smirked, then smiled to that guy.

“I guess… we do..”

“Definitely…We do.. no one else comes close”, he added, winking at her.


“Wae? Is there an objection?”

Shin Hye giggled, then ran towards that guy, while Geun Suk steadied his position, readying himself on the upcoming attack.

That girl landed in his arms, her hands automatically clasped around his neck while his are on her waist. Shin Hye brought her face near his,and with that mischievous smile, she whispered. “I know the sound of your footsteps, Oppa.. I can hear the beating of your heart as you come one step closer. I can’t tame the beating of my heart as I feel you coming near me… I can’t breathe… my lips automatically curved into a smile, even before my brain would come to analyze why”

Geun Suk just smiled, that smile that is only and exclusively for her.. that smile that melts her heart.. that smile that can send her heaven and back here in his arms again.

“You better not schedule an Asia Tour next year. I don’t think I can manage being too busy, without my little bugger bugging me in my rehearsal”

“Hm?”, she said, confused.

“I miss you… I miss the call… the surprise visit”

“Oh… “ she said, quite confused of the feeling playing inside her heart.

I thought…

As she suddenly bowed her head, avoiding his eyes, her hands sliding from his neck…
Geun Suk smiled, caught her hands, then said, searching for her eyes.

“I know you are beginning to like this… Finally, they have given you the attention that you deserve long before this time…Ah.. Geun Suk-ssi is just not fair.. definitely not.. how come he’s trying to stop me now…”, then he paused, staring directly in to her eyes. “Do you really think I’m that immature, unfair, reckless fool who would stop you on something you really dreamed of?”

“Yah, Oppa..”, she said, trying to withdraw her hands.

“You haven’t learned that much from your teacher, then?”


“Try to trust me a little, can you?”

“Mian”, she said, bowing her head.

Geun Suk lifted her chin, then said,”I love you. I’m happy for you. And I am definitely proud of you”

“Hm”, she said, smiling, and in one swift movement, she tip toed and surprised him with the light brush of her lips on his.

Manila FM:

“We look good together. We work comfortably with each other.”, she said, referring to one guy. and when that name was mentioned, no emotion involved, or so it seems as that, and then she answered the only way that can justify what he is for her and what they have that others might not able to understand. “We have a good chemistry. He knows my weaknesses and helps me on how to deal with them…”

One, somehow implying the feeling of being comfortable and content…
while the other… hm… let’s simply put it as that feeling of being happy and complete…

A friend to a friend..
A half completing another half

Then, somewhere in the land of the rising sun, one guy has simply closed his eyes, smiled unknowingly, then, with that infamous pout, whispered to himself, trying very hard to maintain his composure in the middle of his own stage… he silently screamed.. 100 points!



A Napkin dreams..

this is me

welcome to the inner ramblings of my mind!


let me read and rumble. :)

journey of my mind

the languages of my thoughts

sui generis

My Rants. My Raves. My Moments of Genius. My Spazz from the Heart. Me.