unspoken words of that stubborn soul…

His Heart has a Heart. His Part of the Story.

September 1, Taipei

The whole arena was in chaos.
The boss of eels will be showing his last Crazy Mission Diary. Of all the missions that he did so far, he mentioned that this one, is the closest to his heart.

“One fan has given this mission. Tch! She might have been thinking that this one is mission impossible. Sorry, dear eel, you forgot that you are daring the Boss of Eels. Are you sure you’re an eel? You don’t know the power of Geun Chan”, Geun Suk, paused, smiled and then continued. “I know most of you here now are quite curious of the mission. I know of someone, at least, who’s been bothering me ever since this crazy mission has started. My little bugger who would pass by every now and then at the office, checking with all the staff what would be the next mission. Her chest doing a drum roll everytime I would mention that eels are asking about that special someone, and then she will answer, “You don’t have a special someone Oppa, right? You told them you don’t, right?”. Everytime she will mention that, I’m not sure whether I will feel guilty for hiding her from the world, will feel sorry that I don’t have the courage to show her to you, or would hate myself for not having the confidence to stand up against her. Tch! “

Geun Suk looked at his farthest left, looked at someone on bowed head, then smiled. “My little girl is quite confident today. I can still see her from here. From the previous Cri Show, she would hide herself at the backstage, afraid that someone would spot her. When this crazy mission started, I convinced her to sit in front. “Don’t worry, the guards will just escort you when the lights are already off”. Tch! Even if she needed to go to the washroom, she would choose not to. Not because she’s afraid that I would be distracted. But because she’s afraid that someone would recognize her. Should I be jealous of you, eels? My girl is more scared of you than of me.”

“The girl is still not standing up from her seat. Tch! During the last missions, whenever I would mention something that is related to her, believe me, I still haven’t finished my sentence, and there she is flying, retreating at the backstage, afraid that her Oppa would spill it out.”then Geun Suk acted to cover his mouth. “Omo, I mentioned that I’m your Oppa. Still won’t be standing from there? Hm?”

“Still won’t, hm? Arasseo, I will continue. You really think I will not do this, right? This will be the last mission, Princess. Still not getting scared? Omo, I mentioned Princess.”Geun Suk said, having that smile in his eyes.

“Whenever I will be asked about her, or I will be telling some stories about her, I always feel this giddy, this excited. You know that feeling of those primary schoolers when you ask them about their crushes, and they will smile like this, with their feet and hands cross like this, that’s how I feel everytime I will talk about her.”Geun Suk sighed, tears running down his cheeks.

“Eels, I loved someone, love her still and will love her forever. I hope you can forgive me on that. Mianhae, I can’t stop myself from crying. This is the first time that I’m talking about her in front of a crowd this big and I really feel excited. I’ve been with her, talking with her on stage, but I’ve never been allowed to talk about her in the way I really wanted to.”

Geun Suk smiled, winked at that corner. “Still not scared? This is not part of the script, little girl. I hope you know that. You’re throwing me those dagger looks, but I know you’re crying as well. Saranghae.”

“Awwwwww!. Yah! Yah! You’re all good at that eels. You all feel mushy whenever I say the word Saranghae. But jinja, that’s not from the script. I’ve been saying that to her for six years now, but was never allowed to say it in public. Oops, except for those —- and that scene in ——, which I always want to re-enact.”

“Your heart has jumped, right?”Geun Suk tilted his head, observing her.

“Ok, let’s start. That’s just an introduction, eels. And that girl, still won’t budge. Tch. Tch. Tch.”

“The mission, dear eels.. “Geun Suk Oppa, you’ve shown us the Prince at home, the Prince in his normal life, the Prince behind the camera. But you still haven’t shown us the Prince that you would want to be. You always mention that you want to be the World Prince, but it seems that those are quite shallow. Forgive me, prince. But I want to see what Geun Suk’s heart looks like. Can I see your heart, Oppa?”

“Can I see your heart, Oppa? Ow… the girl is pretending to be doing some stretching. How does my heart look like? Should I open my chest and show it to you? Or better yet, should i show her to you?”, then he winked.

Geun Suk started to walk towards the center of the stage. Staffs have arranged one table where his notebook is. He was walking with his back facing the audience, when suddenly he said, “aniya.. you’re not allowed to stand up. Sit down, Princess”, then he turned around and smiled.

“If you notice, there have been a lot of mistakes in my production numbers today. Mianhae eels, but your boss was doing double time, juggling the characters of actor, director, singer, producer, editor, cameraman and scriptwriter all at once. Though there are a lot of mistakes, “Geun Suk looked back at the audience again and said”, it’s not obvious, right? Because your boss looked hyper than ever”.

“Should I show you how my heart looks like? Ready? Hana, dul, set…”

“Where should we start? My heart always goes to this place (they showed a coffee shop). It loves to drink Americano. You can see it sitting in this area with different people. Be it from that agency (Cyrano Agency), or with Jolie, or with that person I hated the most.. the one who broke his wrist when she stepped on her hanbok. My heart would sit here with anyone, but myself would not. I’d rather have my coffee to go if I cannot be with her. See, that’s how I love her.”

“My heart would always want to bike along Han (they showed the Han River with a silhouette of a girl in baseball cap). It didn’t know but it worries me so much everytime it would tweet that late night biking, clearing her mind, calming her heart. Her heart? Wait, I’m talking about my heart here. My heart has a heart? ^^”

“My heart loves to dance and it’s a good dancer, believe me. It’s better than any kpop girl group. Aisssh! Jinja, I will grill that guy alive. My heart can sing, but not that confident. It would always throw me that look whenever I toned down my voice, letting her voice be heard.”

“My heart is loved by my Mom. My heart is loved by Suni.”

Then they played Suni’s bday.


“That voice is hers.
The voice that you can only hear but cannot see.
The face that was hidden by a gigantic beer mug.
The silhouette hiding behind the tree at the opening of TreeJ.”

“Please, don’t leave. I’m not done yet. Let me say my piece first. Then, let’s see later whether you will be allowed to leave.”

“As all of you eels have heard, I hate Saesang fans. I don’t mind being followed around. But if that girl gets scared, that’s a different story.

I gave the first warning during the YMP red carpet. I was having dinner with her but Saesang fans keep on following us. That kid got scared, hid herself inside the bathroom when fans started roaming around the store’s window.

The second warning was given at Yokohama. I was hiding her from the world but Saesang fans are following closely, seeking for that little girl beside Geun Suk in that red fiat.

My heart doesn’t usually go out in Seoul. Actually, ever since she turned 17, she’s not allowed to go in pubs without me beside her. So, as what it was mentioned before, she hasn’t been to clubs and pubs, except overseas. But as Geun Chan’s power is becoming bigger and bigger, our world has become smaller and smaller. Mianhae, Princess….

I’m coming out in the open, because I want to give my heart a bigger space to move around. Selfish me. Of course she can still move around freely when I’m not with her. ….what I really wanted to say is I want to have a bigger world with her. I want to move around freely with her. I can move around everywhere, anytime I would want to and you won’t even notice my presence. But, I want to walk hand in hand with her, I want to talk about her in public, I want to show her how I love her the most”

“But our world is kind of strict”, then he looked at her “How… her fear is as big as this world. She’s talking to me right now, eels. She’s saying, Oppa, don’t. You don’t need to do this. I don’t need a bigger world to walk around with you. Give me the Han, and that’s big enough for me. Stay with me inside Khan, hold my hand, let me rest on your shoulder and my world will be complete. Don’t, Oppa. Don’t….

“Princess, I don’t need the world. I only need you”, Geun Suk’s tears are starting to run down his cheeks.

Mianhae, Oppa. Fulfill your dreams. I’m not going anywhere. Shin Hye is still here. Shin Hye will stay.

Geu Suk shook his head, then smiled. “Mianhae, eels but the boss of your boss said I cannot. I really plan to introduce her to you, but that girl is really stubborn. How?

She may have asked me through her eyes not to say a word more… but let me just say some more things.

I’m not saying to the world that she loves me, but I’m telling you that I love her.
I’m not saying that she’s my girl, but I’m telling you that I’m her man.
I’m not saying that she’s seeing me eels, but I’m telling you that your boss is in love.

I did not say anything about you. I only said my part of story. I’m hoping that someday, I can hear the other part of this.”

“Saranghae” then he bowed down, and slowly kneeled down and said again and again.. Saranghae.. saranghae..

The curtain fall down, the lights at the audience were turned on.. all eels ran to that farthest corner, only to find an empty seat, a space with her warmth on the back rest of the seat and tear stains on the floor.



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