unspoken words of that stubborn soul…

3* Her Heart in His Eyes


As she utter those words, Geun Suk was immediately in front of her, his arms enclosing her in a cocoon, giving her warmth. She cried helplessly.. She cried ugly. She didn’t have an idea where those tears are coming from or why these tears are even here. It’s as if a weight was lifted from her chest, like she’s crying as if her life is dependent on it.

“Shhhhhh”, she heard him say, while his lips planted a kiss on her head. It’s as if he has an idea what is even happening inside her head, when she could not even figure out how they’ve come to this point.

She rested her head on his shoulder, her heart too heavy to be calmed. Her tears are running non-stop, as if they’ve been hiding for long.

Has she been hiding that long? Running that far? How long has she been floating, going as if nothing is happening around her…

“It’s ok, Princess…it’s ok. It will be ok”, His whispered words, just like before, works like a balm to her heavy heart.

“Oppa…”, and like a broken record, all she could say was that word. She’s still confused, lost. Her head is playing some havoc within. Nothing seems to be clear except for that need to let go of these tears and that uncharacteristical need to let go.

She’s been playing that part of being strong for long, and as good as an actress as she is, no one seems to notice that she’s been lost in this charade…

All have been carried away on thic act, all except for this guy who seems to have been waiting on the sideline for long, anticipating when she will let loose and let go.

While those tears are having a race down her cheeks, she suddenly felt a lift at the corner of her lips… There could have beeen something wrong in her head. She could have been running for long, for her crazy to have been let loose the same day that this emotion was allowed to show her shape.

While her mind was lost in checking her sanity, she felt him smile against her head. Still puzzled on how he knows every beat of her heart, every frown of her mouth, and every lift of her smile, she held him closely while smiling, crying on the calmness that suddenly replaced her confused heart.

“Oppa…”, how intelligent her words have become. She kissed his cheeks and unknowingly rested her head on his shoulder. Just like that, everything seems to be clear. All doubts and haze have been gone, replaced by the serenity in her heart.

She may try to hide.. play pretend and get lost in the game she herself has drawn. It’s a bit scary.. that place where all she can see are masks- different shapes, different colors that take a peek at her everytime she try to look at the mirror.
It’s frightening, when you’re trying to find a familiar face, and even the mirror would show you nothing but make-believe strength and stories.

It’s right there.. right then that she realized there’s no need for a mirror. What would she used that mirror for if she herself cannot figure out the truth on the face that she sees behind the glass?

“Let’s get you home”, she heard him whisper.

She took a step back, looked up at him and saw herself in the orbs of his eyes.
He smiled lovingly at her, took her hand, and ushered her slowly on their way home.

She almost forgot. She doesnt need a piece of glass if she has his eyes, mirroring the depths of her soul… the desires of her heart…
His eyes who sees the ugly… the weak… the random in her, yet, he still hold her close, as if he’s scared she’ll walk away.
He held her close.. still holding her close, reminding her time and again, that she’s ok.. more than ok.. more than enough…
Her heart, mirrored in his eyes.


2* Her Heart Tied in a String


“I’m not going anywhere…..”

They stood there in silence. The outside world continued moving on its own. The talks on their table proceeded, the laughters strained, knowing that her cracked armor is slowly giving way.

After a heartbeat or two, Shin Hye released a deep breath, smiled weakly and with all her strength, put on her mask, smiling meekly at them.

“Annyeong chingu! Mian for the scene. You better pay me for the advance screening that you just saw.” , she said, crinkling her nose, talking to no one in particular.

Shin Hye closed her eyes, bit her lips, fighting the impending explosion of her heart.

“Just a litte bit more…  just a bit more Shin Hye”, she whispered to herself, her self spiraling down to that black hole.

Hong Ki looked at his friend and shook his head.

“Let it out chingu. Don’t bottle it inside”, he silently encouraged his friend, hoping the wind will relay his message.

“Kaja?”, Geun Suk pulled her out from her trance, holding her by the waist, his other hand carrying her things.

Shin Hye bowed to her friends, and with heavy feet, retreated out of the diner.

Geun Suk nodded his head then excused himself immediately to follow that girl.

As he opened that door, he saw her standing at the middle of the alley, lost in her train of thoughts.

He heaved a deep breath, then slowly stand in front of her, wrapping his scarf around her neck.

“Cold?”, he asked, rubbing her hands together and blowing some air to it.

Shin Hye lifted her head and smiled weakly at him.

“Oppa?”, she called to him, her smile bright.

“Deh?”, he answered, missing those light in her eyes.

She stood on her tip toes, brushing her nose to his. “I missed you”

“And i, you”, he answered pulling her by the scarf, softly touching his lips to hers.

He felt her smile behind his kiss.

“You’re my butter to my bread”, she said biting her lower lip.

“Tch! Your pick up line is getting mushier, Princess” he said, his lips an inch from hers.

“I learned from the best”, she said, her eyes looking back at him.

“Jinja?”, he said, nuzzling her neck.

“Jinja. Oppa….?”


“Why didn’t you call me out on that interview?”

“Missing the crazy me?

“Aniya… i won’t get mad if you did.”

“Hmm? But i didn’t. Do you want me to?”

“Aniya… i just don’t want you hiding from me.”

“Shin Hye…”

“Why are you not calling me, Princess?”, she asked, looking at him with questioning eyes.


“Ani.. aniya…”, she said shaking her head, stepping back from him.

Geun Suk tilted his head, looking at her.

He closes his eyes, pleading the heaven for this day to be that day that she will open her heart.

“It’s ok to cry…”

“I can’t!”, she answered hastily. “Not yet”, she said, looking at anything but him.


“Aniya… why would i…”, she said, her breathing becoming deep.

“Shin Hye..”

“Oppa…”, she said, her lips trembling, her dam of tears breaking free. “I’m scared. I’m tired. I’m…”

Geun Suk was about to step to her, but she chose to step back.

“Don’t. I can do this. I can handle this”.

And like a lost kid, the moment she locked her eyes to him, her mask shattered, surrendering… her world came tumbling down.



1* Invisible Heartstring

He silently sat at one corner, cap pulled low, hoodies put on. He was drinking with his friends when his message ping, alarming him of that girl on the other side of town.

“Hyung, did you fight? Your girl is drinking…. downing bottles as if her life dependent on it. Aisssh! Hyung, can you come here… fast?”

Geun Suk shook his head when he read Hong Ki’s message. The great chaperone is in town and his girl has probably finally found the breaking point to finally release everything. He’s been anticipating it,  patiently waiting on the sideline…watching her closely, making sure that he is there when it happened.

He slowly chugged his bottle, straightening from his seat, and nod at their table. “Rain check. The prince is being summoned”.

“Problem in paradise?”

“The agency is calling you?”

“The eels are at war?”

Geun Suk shook his head at his friends antics.

No words needed. They knew without the need for another breathe.

Hell will freeze and heaven will be on fire but he will not be pulled out from an escapade like this. Nope, definitely not. But when the great Jang Geun Suk asked for a rain check, a ticket to be excused… there’s a silent understanding in this pact.

No question need to be asked. He will leave with or without their permission. And he will be allowed to leave with or without asking for one.

“Slow down on driving. Hong Ki is there. There shouldn’t be something serious”

Geun Suk nod his head and sprint to his car.

Now, thirty minutes later, here he is, nursing a bottle of soju while carefully watching the girl.

She’s a blabbering mess. Laughing uncontrollably,  while hitting Hong Ki on the shoulder.

She’s carefree… careless…

His friend might be black and blue the following day, but he knew, just like him, they are all waiting for her to explode.

She was laughing on nothing in particular, when her eyes suddenly glued outside, her irises not moving. She was staring blankly ahead and he knew the moment it hits her.

Slowly, tears silently stream down her face. She shook her head, smiled weakly and said in a soft voice….

“Oppa, i want to go home…”

No one heard her except for that guy beside her, and before he even touched his phone, Geun Suk on bended knees, was slouched beside her.

He did not look at her eyes. She did not acknowlege his presence.

He gathered her hair, tied it in a loose bun, just like how she like it. She contentedly lean on him when his hand touches her cheek.

“Let’s get you home”, he whispered, her eyes not meeting his, wringing her scarf folded neatly on her lap.

She slowly nodded her head, her eyes glassy…. tears threatening to fall.

As he collected her things, still without looking at him, she whispered softly… “i knew you were here. Even if i didn’t see you, i knew you were here.”

Geun Suk paused, looked  at his broken girl. Holding her by her nape, he whispered back, “even if i’m not, you must know that i will be here even before you realize that you need me here”.

Shin Hye closes her eyes, tears flowing down from her eyes.

He held her to his chest, kissing the top of her head.


“I’m not going anywhere”




A Napkin dreams..

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