hersideofstory

unspoken words of that stubborn soul…

1* His Cute Little Dongsaeng

“Eodisseo?” he asked as he heard her line connecting with hers.

“Filming, Oppa. Wae-yo?”, she answered as she excused herself from the crowd.

“Shin Hye-ssi, where are you going?”, Ji Hoon asked as he saw that girl leaving their circle.

“I need to answer a call, Oppa. Changkaman.”, she answered, while covering the mouthpiece of her phone.

“Tch! Is that the other flower boy?”, he hissed on the other line.

“Oppa, wait… I need to hide somewhere before another soul find me whispering on my phone”, she answered, somehow giddy of that guy’s jealousy.

“Shin Hye-ya, coffee?”, Si Yoon asked as she met him near the stairs.

“Si Yoon Oppa! Kamsa. I’ll be back in a bit”, she answered, quite nervous of the different encounters.

“Geun Suk?”, he asked.

Shin Hye’s eyes widened. She was about to deny it when the guy walked near her, then said, “Jinja, yepuda! I wonder if we can go out for dinner sometimes”, he asked, obviously trying to anger the guy from the other line.

“Yah, Oppa!”, Shin Hye said, her eyes throwing him daggers.

Si Yoon laughed, then said in a voice loud enough for that guy to hear, “It’s quite difficult to guard a Princess this pretty against all eyes which are obviously eyeing her from head to toe. That, I think is quite manageable. But , guarding your heart from falling for someone you know from the start you’re not allowed to have… hmm, if the first quarter of 2013 ends with my heart still whole, I think I deserve some commendation. But, that, I think is far from happening. Better send that invitation and let me see with my own eyes that I better back off. Shin Hye-ssi, I’ll be waiting inside”, he said, smiling at her.

“Eh!”, Shin Hye said, lost in words.

“tch!”, that guy smirked at the other end, knowing exactly what those words are for.

As Shin Hye finds one corner, she stayed there, her back leaning against the wall.

“Oppa..”, she called unto him.

Geun Suk was simply looking at nothing in particular, his mind processing a thousand information per minute.

“Oppa…” she called again.

“Hm?”

“Are you busy? Do I need to hang up?”, she asked, concerned.

“Ani..i miss you”, he said, meaning those words.

“Na do.. wae?”

“Wae?”, he asked back.

“Why the sudden silence? Is it about Si Yoon Oppa?”

“Tch! Ani…”, he said, trying to deny it.

“Are you jealous?”, she asked, half-teasing, half-worried.

Silence.

“Arasseo.. arasseo.. Oppa, I need to go. I think they’re looking for me”

“Hm…”

“Annyeong”, she said, but before she could hang up, she heard his voice again.

“Shin Hye…”

“Hm..”

“Mianhae…”

“Hm?”

“If I am jealous…”

Shin Hye smiled, appreciating his honesty. “Why were you, Oppa?”

“Why am I sorry, or why am I jealous?”, he asked, shaking his head.

“Hm.. both?”, she asked, smiling.

“Because I love you so much… and because I know I’m not worthy enough… because, I think you deserve someone better… because I think..”

“I love you… please do know that before you think of other reasons. Saranghae…”

Geun Suk smiled at the other end. And with his chest out, proud of himself, he said, “My eels are asking how are you doing… and they are checking whether the other flower boys are making a move on my girl”

“Yah, Oppa!”, she said, remembering that dinner show.

“I love you”

“Hm… Will I be seeing you later?”, she asked, hoping to somehow have a five minute alone time with him.

“I might finish late. Don’t wait for me”, he said, wanting to punch himself for not being able to buy time.

“Arasseo… don’t tire yourself too much, Oppa. See you when I see you..”, she said, ending their conversation.

When Shin Hye went back to filming, Si Yoon smiled as he saw the glow in her eyes.

“I wonder who the person on the other line is. Everytime you come back after a small chitchat with whoever he is, I tend to see an apparition as you come back to our humble aboard.. an angel has once again sent down from heaven.”

“Funny, Oppa!” she said, taking his words lightly.

Si Yoon shook his head, realizing how oblivious that girl is. She will be the death of you, Si Yoon.

And as he saw Ji Hoon walking near that girl, his eyes twinkling… while that girl who considered herself as one of the boys, clueless of the stares and the smiles that those guys are giving her… unaware of the havoc that she is setting them in, Si Yoon smiled, then whispered.. And the death of you, Ji Hoon Hyung… and the death of the rest of us here.

Geun Suk was planning for the next dinner show. He’s working an all-nighter, thinking hardly how to make that show special.

“Should I ask her to come as well? Or better not? The last dinner show has almost blew our cover, and the whole of Korea and the rest of the world almost knew who the special guest was.. only a solid proof is missing to name that girl..”, he said, shaking his head. Then an evil grin appeared on his lips, “should I make another scandal? Post a photo of that girl with guitar.. hm, probably a silhouette as I was admiring her from the sideline.. Hm.. hahaha…”, Geun Suk laughed like crazy, when his office door opened, revealing Kurt and Keunsama.

“Yah! Don’t! Spare her of another set of bashing”, Kurt said, as he hand him one bottle of soju.

“Mwo? Who?”, he said, pretending he didn’t know what he’s talking about.

“Jang Geun Suk-ssi… that laugh.. those crazy laugh and those eyes, only mean one thing. You’re planning something again which, if you are lucky enough would earn you a pout and a dagger look.. or, if the stars are not with you, better prepare to stay out under the snow until she allow you to set foot in her kingdom.”

“Yah! I’m not planning anything…”

“Tch! Jealous of the flower boys?”

“Tch! Who are they?”, he asked, pretending he’s not bothered. “We talked about it. I’m cool with it”

“Jinja?”, Kurt said, not believing. “I thought those photos would start another week of silent treatment. Him, jealous of those who won’t leave his space and her, tired of trying to understand her unreasonable Oppa”

Geun Suk’s eyes widened. But before he could say a word, Keunsama walked near the table, and as he was inspecting the new floor layout, he added, “So, you don’t like her, hm? I heard the whole Strong Heart and Taxi crew were cursing the great Jang Geun Suk for treating that girl, not only as a dongsaeng… but as one of the boys. Tch! Can you believe it? That goddess is considered by Hwang tae Kyung as a guy dongsaeng?”

“Mwo?”

“Jang Geun Suk’s mother likes me, but he doesn’t”, who made that spiel?” Keunsama added, shaking his head.

“Mworago?”, Geun Suk hissed, almost standing from his seat.

“Tch! You have just introduced her to, what, about 500 eels, but the rest of the world knows that she is simply Jang Geun Suk’s dongsaeng.. better be prepared to send out a bunch of invitation.”

“The girl could not lie.. She simply doesn’t know how to lie”

“Ha Ha Ha! I pity Shin Hye… I could imagine how her heart was beating, trying to drop that subject in an instant…”

“I heard when the emcees still pushed the subject, she just looked and said in that scary-calm tone.. “ah, jinja?”.. haha.. the tone making Geun Suk dropped anything which he’s holding.”

“But, to give you credits, dude, she remembers the kiss… that Etude cf.. who wouldn’t?”

Geun Suk smirked, gave an impish grin, but remembering the statements before that, he grabbed his phone and dialed a number.

“hyung… Geun Suk.. hm…. Can I request for a copy of the FBND photoshoot? I just need to check something.. hm? Ha ha ha.. ani… yah.. email… kamsa, hyung! I owe you one..”

Kurt and Keunsama looked at each other.

Then, as he was opening his mail, he made another call.

“Hyung.. do you have Shin Hye’s clips on Strong Heart? Hm… deh.. deh.. can I see the stills? I just want to check something.. ani.. ani… ha ha ha… you got me, Hyung! But don’t tell anyone… kamsa, hyung!”

As he opened one photo, Ji Hoon’s hand on her waist, Geun Suk’s knuckle almost turned white as he tried to restrain his anger.

“Hyung.. hm.. yah.. Geun Suk… Hyung, can I see the taxi interview? I heard my name was mentioned… haha.. ani.. I just want to see what my Little Bugger has said against me.. haha.. aniya… aniya… kamsa..”

Geun Suk was laughing at the phone, but in person, he was biting his inner cheek, his hand holding that laptop mouse tightly. At times, he would smirk, seeing how Ji Hoon was looking at that girl.

“In Style photoshoot..”, Geun Suk tilted his head as he saw another link.

His eyes in fire as he saw his girl, smiling at the camera, their hands holding each other.

He was mad. They knew.

But something is odd.

“She looks good with anyone. She simply looks good with anyone”, he mumbled, biting his lips.

Kurt and Keunsama were just standing there, waiting for his next move.

And trying to distract that guy from whatever it is that he’s plotting, Kurt said, “The news said that the snow fall is quite heavy tonight. I just saw Shin Hye playing with the snow. She might have enjoyed her day with the kids”.

Geun Suk looked at Kurt, then, outside the window.

“My stubborn, Little Shin Hye…”, he hissed, then in an instant, he grabbed his jacket and sped outside of the building.

—–

Inside her room…

Shin Hye was wearing a knitted white sweater over her white sweatpants. She was lying on her bed, strands of hair on her cheeks. Bongji and Nori at her feet, snuggling closing at her.

Geun Suk sat at the edge of her bed, admiring the beauty in front of her.

“Ahhhh! Can I just attack this girl and end the havoc inside my head… maybe by then, I won’t be that insecure”, his head teased him as he looked at her innocent face.

He was tucking the loose strand of hair behind her ear, when he heard her smirk, then whispered, “Try it, Oppa. And I’m pretty sure, one of us will be at the hospital later before you could even do what it is that is playing in your head”

“tch! You’re not that pretty, Princess”, he whispered in her ears, while he’s caressing her face.

“Back off, Oppa! Don’t meddle with someone who just woke up”, she hissed, lying back flat on the bed, his face directly above hers.

Geun Suk smirked, settling his hand on her side, while the other on her pillow, leaning closer to her. He eyed her from head to toe, licking his lips, teasing that girl. “I won’t ruin my name for someone like you. I can get any girl in a snap of my finger”

“Jinja?”, she said, her eyes locking with his. Shin Hye anchored her hands around his neck, pulling him closer to her. And when her lips were about an inch from his, she looked unto his eyes then to his lips, and whispered, “Mianhae, I’m not that pretty and I’m not worthy of your name”, then she pouted, giving him puppy eyes.

Geun Suk swallowed, looked into her eyes then down to her lips,” I’ll admit to anything… just let me have this one”. Then, without any warning, he dipped his head, meeting her lips, his hand on her head, the other on her waist. Shin Hye smiled upon the kiss, her arms wrapped on that guy’s neck. The kiss became deeper, his weight almost on hers, and when they were both running out of breathe, as his hand wandered on her sides, Geun Suk bit his lips, hearing alarm bells ringing. He distanced his face from hers, then whispered, “Don’t tease me again like that. I may not be able to control myself next time”

“Tch! I thought I’m not pretty and I’m not worthy…..”, and before she could finish her words, that guy kissed her again, drowning her words.

“care to say another word”, he asked, as he brushed his nose on hers.

Shin Hye smiled, knowing exactly what it is that he means. She looked at him, then pouted, asking him to get off of her.

Geun Suk loving her silence, kissed her pouted lips and just shrugged his shoulder.

Shin Hye, widened her eyes, threatening him to move.

Geun Suk smiled, kissed the tip of her nose, and sat beside her, his hand playing with hers.

Shin Hye smiled back. She pulled herself upward, her back leaning against the headboard. She was playing with his hand, when she suddenly twisted, biting her lips.

“wae-yo?”, he asked, concerned.

“Ani…”, she said, fidgeting her fingers.

“You’re quite convincing at lying!”, he hissed, then he stood up, leaving her, lost.

“Oppa”, she said, but not moving from her bed.

“Are you not going to run after me?”, he asked, challenging her.

Shin Hye’s eyes almost welled in tears. “Mianhae… I’ll call you later”, she managed to say, then she turned around, hiding from him.

“Tch! What are you taking me for,hm?”, he asked.

“Oppa, chebal…”, she said, pleading.

“What am I going to do with you, Park Shin Hye?”, he said as he sat down at the edge of the bed, pulling that girl’s feet.

“Yah!”, she said, as she felt his hands.

“How long has it been hurting?”, he asked, as he pulled her sweat pants up, applying ointment on her knees.

Shin Hye tried to sit up, looking at that guy as he massaged her feet.

“Don’t look at me like that. I might melt from your stares.”, he said, teasing her.

“Yah!”

“I’m quite good looking from this angle, right? You can’t find someone like me, Princess. So better tell your flower boys to back off”

“Aissssh!”

“Should I save up for this ointment?”

“Hm?”

“I guess, when we get married, you’ll be bothering me every night for this. I mean, I won’t be complaining if you will wake me up in the middle of the night, asking for… hmmm….”, he said, an evil grin on his face.” But, if you will just wake me up to ask me to apply this ointment on your weak bones… tch!”

“Then, better, not marry me, Oppa. You still have a chance”, she said, not looking at him; her eyes fixed on her knees.

“Better leave while I still have time, right?”,he said, as he looked at her bowed head.

“Hm”, she said, without lifting her face.

“Tch! Should I handcuffed you with me, Princess”, he said, as he inched his self near her.

Shin Hye tilted her head, looking at him.

“You won’t be needing to wake me up… Even before the snow falls, even before your knees tell you they’re hurting, I will be there, bundling you with warmth. You won’t even notice that winter has passed by.

“Oppa…”, she said, smiling.

“Saranghae…”

And then remembering that interview.. that spiel regarding him treating that girl as a dongsaeng.. and the teasing that he had with Kurt and Keunsama..

—–

“Yah! I wonder what you two were doing when you’re left alone… how does an Oppa treat a dongsaeng?”, Kurt said, teasing him.

“Correction, how does a hyung treat a dongsaeng?”, Keunsama added, followed by a series of laughter.
—–

“I heard the story of Oppa and dongsaeng is still not done?”, he said, as he held her hand, pulling her from the bed.

“Hm?”, Shin Hye asked back as they walked towards the door, preparing for supper.

“And this time, I heard it became worse. One of the boys, hm? Never seen you as a girl?”

“Yah!”

“Jang Geun Suk’s mother likes me, but he doesn’t. Who made that spiel?”, he asked, as he pushed her against the wall.

“Oppa… I.. uhm.. “, she said, sliding downward from the wall, but Geun Suk held her still.

“Uh.. uh..”, he said, shaking his head. “I miss my chingu.. that namja chingu… what should I do?”, he said, kissing her on the cheeks. “Is that right?”

“Oppa…”

“I miss that dongsaeng.. my cute dongsaeng.. hm?”, he said, then he held her face, giving her a deep kiss. “is this right?”

“Jang Geun Suk-ssi!”, she hissed, somehow getting scared of him.

“My Mom likes you a lot, but I heard you said, I don’t.. hmmm?”, he said, as he walked nearer her, pushing her further against the wall.

“Oppa.. mianhae… I don’t know how to answer…”

She still hasn’t finished her sentence when that guy captured her lips, his hand on her face, the other on her back. Shin Hye tried to fight back, but that guy held her tighter. He kissed her too deep, his lips almost sucking her soul. He pulled her to him, her body almost molding to his. He didn’t let go of those lips, he held unto her, her hands placed on his shoulder, her feet not touching the ground. Then, fifteen, twenty seconds after, as they ran out of breath, he slowed down the kisses, her lips swollen. He smirked, then said, “yeah.. I guess, I don’t like you. I wonder what else should I do to make you feel that somehow, I do”.

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4* His One and Only Girl

As her tears mixed with his, she saw him smiled at her then, he whispered in her ears, “No more running away, Princess. No one is letting go. Saranghae”

Shin Hye looked at him, and slowly she looked around, her head slightly bowed down.

The whole venue was dead silent, waiting for something to unfold.

Keunsama, MJ, and the three tree-J angels were all smiling, their hearts finally at ease, seeing that girl holding their boss.

Mrs. Jang was smiling, then she paused, looking at that girl. When that girl met her gaze, she saw her blinked a tear, and then she bowed her head, saying words only them understood. Seeing the confusion, the pain, the hesitation in that girl’s eyes, Mrs. Jang nodded her head, smiling sweetly at that girl.

When he didn’t hear any word, Geun Suk followed her gaze. When he saw his Mom locking gaze with his girl, and when he saw her nodded her head and slowly she turned around, leaving the venue, Geun Suk held unto that girl tighter, confusion eating him out.

“Mianhae, Oppa”, were the only two words she said since she reached that place.

“Shin Hye..”, Geun Suk looked at her.

Shin Hye lifted her head, then she smiled weakly, with tears running down her cheeks, she shook her head, then once more, whispered, “Mianhae, Oppa…”

And like a kid, with her head bowed down, she let her tears flow, while she kept the back of her hand wiping them away.

“Mianhae, Oppa”, she whispered once more.

Then,while biting her lower lip, she took the microphone which he was holding, and with deep sobs, she smiled, looked at the audience, then said, “Can I be one of you, eels?”

The crowd was silent, confused as well.

And like Go Mi Nam, Shin Hye channeled that perky self, gauging the eels’ reactions, she repeated once again, “I really like your boss, eels! Can I be one of you?”

Finally dawning to him what it is that the girl was doing, Geun Suk shook his head, closed his eyes, let his tears of disappointment, frustration, pain.. fall down his eyes.

Shin Hye bit her lips, trying to muffle her sobs.

Looking at her far left, there she saw her Unnies, all looking at her with confusion. Their eyes welling in tears, shaking their heads.

Keunsama, MJ and Manager Jun were all looking blankly at her, gauging what it is that she will say next.

Shin Hye smiled weakly at them, and mouthed, “mianhae…”

And then remembering the guy who’s been standing there, silent, but holding her hand still, Shin Hye slowly looked at him, her breathing became deeper, her tears would not stop from falling.

She looked at him.. apologetic. She looked into his eyes, trying to pass her message.

Mianhae, Oppa…

“Hyung-nim, can I be your fan?”, she managed to say in between her sobs.

She saw that guy bit his lips, controlling his sobs as well.

Shin Hye closed her eyes, not wanting to see him like this. And when she didn’t hear a word from him, she looked at him, and with her hands, she tried to wipe his tears, “Hyung-nim, can I?”,she asked, pleading him to understand.

Geun Suk held her hand, shaking his head, “Go Mi Nam, I have a lot of eels. I won’t be needing another one”

“But Hyung Nim,,” she said, stomping her feet. “I like you, Hyung Nim. I like you a lot. “she whispered with head bowed down.

“Then why can’t you like me, Park Shin Hye?”, he asked, his eyes looking for hers.

Shin Hye’s eyes widened. Don’t make this difficult, Oppa.

“Hyung Nim,you said before, I can be your fan, right? You said it, right?”

“I gave permission to Go Mi Nam, but not to you, Park Shin Hye”, he pushed further, not wanting this night to end as she planned.

“Jang Geun Suk-ssi”, she said, a bit irritated.

“Park Shin Hye”, he said, shaking his head.

“Arasseo, Oppa. Arasseo, if I can’t be one of them, I better leave now. This gathering is for eels and for eels alone”.

And as she was about to run away, she stopped from her track when she heard him whispered, “This is for me, Princess.. for us…”

Shin Hye paused for a while, deliberating what to do next. That guy waited for her to make the decision.. he hoped, he prayed she will fulfill. But stubborn as she is, five..ten seconds after, she slowly moved her feet, walking, striding, running away from him.

Geun Suk was left there, dumbfounded.

The audience was once again silent.

For some, to those who love him that much, but him alone, they were smiling, ignoring the pain that their boss’ eyes were screaming.

For some, to those who are shipping other pairings, they were able to breathe, their hopes high, pretending that they didn’t see what those exchanges of stares were between those two.

For some, to those who love him dearly, their tears running down their cheeks as well, feeling the pain of those two shattered pieces of hearts.

Geun Suk was left there lost.. dumbfounded.

He watched her ran away from him.. concerned, scared, confused.

“Damn! I don’t need anyone else”

And then realizing that he was about to lose the most important part of his life… his life as a whole, he dropped the microphone and ran towards that direction where the girl has been eaten by darkness.

All the spectators stood up from their seats, whispering inaudible words, officially getting lost in this dinner show.

Geun Suk went down of the stage, running to nowhere in particular.

Confused, lost, he ran towards the audience, looking for that particular soul.

He wandered around, looking for her.. for that girl.

The audience were ecstatic as they see him walking near them, but they were shocked as they see tears falling freely from his eyes.

As he looked around, as he met the eyes of some eels, he smiled weakly, bowed his head, but continued his search for his girl.

“Ahhhhhhhhh!”, that guy screamed, frustrated of the sudden turn out of event.

And as his hope was shattered, he heard strumming of guitar, playing the intro of that particular song…

Geun Suk smiled, as he recognized that voice. Slowly, he stood up, looking at that girl sitting at the center of the stage, with a guitar in hand, she’s playing that familiar song…

—-

As Shin Hye ran down the stage, her eyes clouded by tears, she hid at one corner, knowing that it would take only a second or two between that guy will go back to his senses.

Mianhae, Oppa… Mianhae…

As she settled herself at one corner, she closed her eyes, hoping that by doing so, she would be invisible and would not be seen by anyone.

She’s scared of her heart. She’s ashamed of herself.

What have you done, Shin Hye? Why?

These questions keep on ringing in her ears.

Why did you show yourself here and create that havoc in that guy’s head? You should have not come. You should have just stayed away.

Shin Hye remembered that day they had a conversation in her house, that day she asked for space, to sort things out, to find her other self, which she thought she has.

For as far as I could remember, you are always there for me. You might have broken my heart so many times, but you never did leave me. It was me who keep on running away, afraid to fall completely. Oppa, eotteoke? I’m getting scared of us. I’m getting scared of you. I’m getting scared of myself. Do you really love me? Do I really love you? What would become of us if things won’t work us planned?

Shin Hye heaved a sigh as she let all those tears have a race on her cheeks.

Eotteoke, Oppa? I don’t think I’m ready for this.I may not be good enough for you. I’m scared of them, Oppa. What if they won’t like me for you? Will you choose me over them?

Don’t get me wrong, Oppa. I love you. I love you more than anyone, even more than myself. But, I don’t think I’m ready for this. I don’t think I’m ready to share with them what we have.
I want us to be for us, Oppa. I don’t want to answer to your million eels if I forgot to answer your call. I don’t want people to take sides… scrutinize my teasings if one morning I suddenly throw my tantrums at you.

I have my insecurities, Oppa. You do know that I am only pretending that I am ok with that girl, right? I don’t want them to magnify my insecurities, Oppa. I may not be confident enough to believe that you choose me over her.

Eotteoke, Oppa? Mianhae… Shin Hye has become twisted again. Mianhae. I’m not ready yet.
Shin Hye bit her lips as she tried to muffle her sobs.

Coward.

Her other self was mocking her.

No more running away, Princess.

Mianhae, Oppa. Mianhae…

I don’t think I’m ready for this. Mianhae..

Then, as she was about to take a step away, she heard his footsteps coming down the stairs. She heard him ran towards that direction where he thought she went.

Shin Hye took a peek at that guy. She saw him wiping his tears, as he craned his neck looking for her.

Mianhae, Oppa. Mianhae…

Her breathing has became deeper. Her heart is being torn into pieces.

No more running away…

Mianhae, Oppa. Mianhae. I’m not ready yet.

And as she took one step further, something hits her.

After this night, what would become of us, Oppa? Will you still be mine? Will I still be yours? Or, is it the end? Can we talk later, Oppa? Can you come to my house, stay until we sort things out? Can we just forget this night, Oppa?.. pretend that it never happened. Can we do that, Oppa?

As she took another step further, Shin Hye fiddled her fingers, realization eating her out.

I’m not running away from you, Oppa. I’m not running away from us. I’m running away from them….Will you run after me, Oppa?

Oppa, I’m scared. Can you find me? Will you find me? Save me, Oppa. I don’t want to run away. Save me…

As she took another step, she looked back at that darkness where that guy had run to.

Shin Hye smiled, biting her lips.

As she felt cold of her lone hands.. as she figured herself without that guy, Shin Hye shook her head, and slowly, she hastened her pace, running to nowhere in particular.

You are seen.
Do you see me?
I wanted to go one step, but I can’t do so.
I hesitated for a long time like a fool.
I’m such an unusual person to do that.
Am I okay? Eeek~
Will it be told?
Now, I will tell the words that I haven’t told you.
I’ll be courageous step by step even though I’m not perfect.

Thank you.
I receive the present,happiness, due to smiling you with me all the time.
Shall we be together?
Will you hold my hand if you think the same as mine.

There had been lots of misunderstandings between you and me.
We had left scars in the hearts.
We had pains in the invisible emotions each other.

I have the words to tell you carefully.
A word in my deep heart.
I’ll be courageous step by step even though I’m a little shy.

Geun Suk slowly stood up, a smile plastered on his face. He took his steps towards that girl, who in the last thirty minutes has sent him to heaven and hell and back to heaven.

Slowly, he made his way towards the stage. Slowly, he stood in front of that girl, admiring the angel playing that guitar.

With that grin on his face, like a kid, he stood there, watching her flushed cheeks and her eyes which she’s trying really hard to avert from his.

As the final part of the song was played, he slowly walked towards her, sat on the space in front of her chair, trying to lock gaze with hers.

As he found her eyes, he never let them go, afraid that once he let go, she would run away from him again.

That girl, with shy smile, continued with her song, her tears running from her eyes.

As she sang the last part of the song…

Sorry.
I weep tears of gratitude due to protecting me all the time.
Please be with me.
I do need you.
You are really precious.

She never left his eyes, afraid that he would leave her once she decided to look away.

As she finished her song, she closed her eyes, deliberating what needs to be done next. But before she could decide of what to do next, she felt his hands wiping away her tears.

Shin Hye slowly opened her eyes. She looked at him shyly. She smiled, wiped his tears away, then slowly, she neared her face to him, kissing the tip of his nose.

The audience was once again silent. Not sure how this night would end.
Their mouths hanged open, waiting what will happen next.

Shin Hye smiled at Geun Suk and before she could stand up, that guy stood from the floor, holding her hand, not wanting to let her go.

He held her hand, as if what would happen next greatly depends on his grip on her.

As they neared the stage, as that guy held the microphone on one hand, the other holding that girl, Shin Hye shook her head.

Surprised, scared, confused, Geun Suk shook his head as well, not wanting to experience another roller coaster ride.

That girl simply smiled, took the microphone. Though her voice was trembling, she managed to say…

“Eels, mianhae. But can I ask your permission to allow me to be with this guy? I love your boss, jinja. I tried to run away.. many times… but I guess, I just needed to accept my fate. I may not be the most beautiful girl for him… most of you may not agree and may think of someone else for him. But, can I be selfish? I love him. I do.

I was scared of you, eels… more scared of you than of him. I guess I was. Until I realize what I am letting go. Mianhae… but I love him… Can you forgive me for loving him this much? I thought of running away, again… but, I don’t want to fool myself anymore. I love him. I don’t know until how long, but for now, can I stay with him?”

Shin Hye bit her lips, trying to gauge the crowd. When no sound was heard, her tears started running down her cheeks.

Then, she looked around, hoping to find a soul who will give them an approval.

When all eyes were empty, she slowly bowed her head. She let go of his hand. She covered her face as her sobs became louder.

The moment she let go of his hand, before her knees gave away, she felt him hugging her in the process, her face buried to his chest.

Geun Suk tears were wetting her shoulder. Two hearts were gauging how those eyes would accept them.

Angered, pained, Geun Suk took the microphone.
He looked at his eels with teary eyes.

“You should know me more than anyone else. I love this girl… and I am not sorry”

Geun Suk hugged that girl tighter, hiding her from those eyes.
As he dropped the microphone, as he’s trying to hush her, a voice echoed along the venue.

“Shin Hye-ssi, can you promise not to leave our boss ever again? If you do, we’ll hunt you down.”

Geun Suk stopped from his track, tilted his head as it dawned to him what words were just said.

“Geun Chan, can you promise not to make her cry? Can you promise you’ll not be too friendly with other girls? Because if you do, we’ll definitely grill you alive?”

Shin Hye smiled at the word. Her tears having a race down her cheeks.

Geun Suk hugged her tighter, kissing the top of her head.

And as they walked near the center of the stage, they saw a group of eels setting up something on the stage. Two chairs were brought in front. The crews and directors were all lost at the sudden turn out of event.

And then, a girl walked near Shin Hye, curtsied at Geun Suk, asking for that girl.

Geun Suk looked at them blankly, hesitant at first, but as he saw that girl smiled, he let go, but his eyes never leaving hers.

Shin Hye opened and closed her hands, nervous still of what would happen next.

“Don’t be nervous, Shin Hye-ssi. We know it’s you. We’ve always known it’s you’

And as she smiled at them shyly, they handed her a bouquet of flower and a flower crown was placed on her head.

Shin Hye looked at them, confused. She looked back at that guy, who’s shaking his head, smiling at her.

Five minutes after, Shin Hye came up on the stage in white ankle-length white dress, a bouquet of flower on hand, a flower tiara on her head.

Geun Suk was in white tuxedo, standing at the end of the stairs, waiting for her.

As he saw her coming out of the room, he smiled…walked towards her, holding her hand.

“Oppa…”, she asked.

“I don’t know any of this”

Shin Hye looked at him, questioning.

Then, a group of eels came to them, escorting them to the center of the stage.

“Shin Hye-ssi, our boss didn’t know any of this. But we somehow know what will happen in this dinner show. Some of us may have their doubts. Some have prepared for other pairings. But we knew, we’re certain it’s you. If we could only be allowed, we could have summoned a priest or a Pastor to do this.. we hope to do it, knowing that our boss would definitely be happy… but I guess, that would simply scare you, just like how he frequently scare you of his words and acts.

He may not say it, but we know he’s in love. He may say, he was just teasing us, but we know him more than he thought we do. He may not name that girl, but we know of no one but you.

Shin Hye-ssi, we’ve been with him even before he became the Asia Prince. Even before YAB, even before the scandal on “empty gestures”. No one might be brave enough to give the details, but we somehow know the days when you were with him.. when you were not with him.

On behalf of all the eels, we thank you… Thank you for standing by our Prince’s side. Thank you for staying… Thank you for not running away. Thank you for loving him. We hope you could stay with him until the end.

We know it’s difficult. Believe us, we know it is”

“Yah!”, Geun Suk hissed, giving them daggers.

Shin Hye just smiled, pinching that guy. She shook her head, asking him to behave.

“Ahrasseo.. ahrasseo”

All those who are present in the venue were laughing, giggling at them.

Then, a kid was asked in front of the stage, then, a pair of rings were passed to them.

Both were dumbfounded as they saw the rings.

“We told you, we prepared for this. This may not be as extravagant as those Bulgari rings or as stingy as his endorsement rings, but treat this as a symbol of our blessing.”

As Geun Suk was about to take the microphone, ready for his speech, the eels shook their heads and said, “Ani, Prince. We will be giving the vows…”

They took both their hands and as the eels surrounded them, only these words were heard..
“No one is letting go. No one is running away. We’ll stay for as long as both of you stay.”

“Prince, when you asked us to accept this girl, we would want to make things clear. Don’t ever make her cry. Because if you do, you’ll see….”

—-

As Geun Suk drove away, as that girl was sitting at the passenger’s seat, he threw her a side glance, then asked, “Why did you stay?”

“I’m actually thinking, Oppa. Why didn’t I just run away?”

“Yah!”

Shin Hye smiled, looked at her, then asked in return, “Why did you run after me, Oppa?”

Geun Suk smiled then answered, “I’m not running after you. I’m running after myself.. that greater part of me. Why did you stay?”

“I think I love you, Oppa…”

“Yah! You think.. you’re not sure..”

“Ani”, she said, shaking her head. “For the longest time, my heart has been telling me that I love you, Oppa. I love you so much. But something is somehow missing. My head would not agree. I don’t know what happen, but I guess, my head has somehow listened to my heart’s pleading. So, I think, I love you. My head has finally agreed with my heart. Mianhae, if I always run away. I can’t promise I will not ever, but even if I do, can you hold me tight and not let me go?”

Then as they sat there in silence, as their hearts were smiling, that guy started humming that song, which for the last few days he has been singing…. That song, which that girl heard when she was about to run away…

(Can I) call you my own, and can I call you my lover
Call you my one and only girl
(Can I) call you my everything, call you my baby
You’re the only one who runs my world

And she sings along…

Can I call you my own?

He looked at her, then asked,

Can I call you my one and only girl?

Shin Hye smiled at him, then nodded her head.

Can i?

It’s been long, Oppa. You didn’t know? I am your girl, right? Not just your girlfriend, but your girl… ^^

Credit:
YT video by TuRnuAsian for Call You Mine
YT video by adindanawangwulan for Falling in Love with a Friend
Shinhye.net for song translation

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Chapter 34: Played. Fooled. Saved.

Arasseo.. arasseo.. we’ll stay like this.. I can’t promise for how long.. but we’ll stay like this.. for as long as we can.. for as long as I can….

It has been an hour now since he dropped Shin Hye in front of her house. He was still sitting in the driver’s seat, his hands on the steering wheel, looking at nothing in particular, his words ringing in his ears.

Geun Suk heaved a sigh as it finally dawned to him.

That girl would never be his… will never be.

He closed his eyes, smiled sarcastically as he looked at the night sky. For five years since they’ve met, the story has been like this. She, standing there; him finding her. And though they fought too hard.. he, careful not to hurt her; she, cautious not to fall.. after a second or two, they will find each other, looking at each other’s eyes, with tears falling down their cheeks. With their hearts shattered into pieces, they were still looking at each other’s eyes, though surrendering on the pain, they were still smiling, somehow hopeful that such pain would be the last.

I don’t want to run away anymore. I want to stay here.. right here, with you.

Geun Suk wiped the tears that are threatening to fall down his cheeks. He remembered her words that day when he first saw her after he broke her heart.

Let’s make this more difficult, Oppa.

Ha! So this is how difficult it is. She’s here. I am here. But the line has been set.
She will stay. I will stay. But we cannot be the way we want us to be.
My star is here. She’s shining for me.
She’s here, but she’s too far away.

Geun Suk closed his eyes once more. And though his heart was beginning to be broken, shattered further, he smiled as he remembered his promise.

We’ll stay like this.. for as long as we can.. for as long as I can….

As that girl entered her room, she leaned back to her closed door, afraid that someone would find her broken like this, again.

It should be ok. I should be ok. We should be ok, right, Oppa?

She whispered in the wind as she felt her tears started to roll down her cheeks.
Shin Hye closed her eyes as she remembered how her heart screamed the moment she made that request.

Let’s stay like this, Oppa. I don’t want to run away anymore.

That girl could still remember how Geun Suk’s eyes welled with tears the moment he heard her words.

Stubborn! Babo!

Her head was screaming inside.

What do you want Shin Hye? What is it really that you want?

Shin Hye shook her head as slowly, her knees have given up. She slid down to the floor, with her knees hugged to her chest. Like a lost kid, she sat there crying.. breaking..

I just don’t want to hurt us anymore. I want to runaway. But who am I fooling, Oppa? No matter how fast I run.. no matter where I go, you will always appear in front of me, and I will always find myself looking back at you. Maybe Ye Sul Unnie is right. We can’t runaway.

And as her sobs are beginning to become louder, as her muffled cry was trapped by the corners of her room, as she was longing to hear his voice, her phone vibrated, with his name on her screen.

My Number 1.

Shin Hye smiled, wiped her tears, as she saw that name. It’s been months. She was mad. But she didn’t know that name has not been changed.

She was looking at her phone, her heart at ease, knowing that guy was thinking of her still.
She was smiling like a crazy idiot, looking at his name flashing on her screen.
After three or five missed called, the call has stopped.
Shin Hye just sat there, hoping for that phone to ring again.

A minute or two has passed, still, the phone did not vibrate.
Like a kid, that girl pouted, and silently whispered, “One more call. One last call. Chebal. “

A second or two after, a message was received.

I know you’re still not sleeping. Answer my call, chebal. This would be my last. After this, we’ll do as I promised.

Shin Hye’s heart started to beat fast.

What are you thinking, babo? Are you even thinking? Who are you fooling? You like him. You love him still. Why can you not be selfish for once?

As that call came in, Shin Hye was just staring at her phone, deliberating whether to answer it or not.

You’re just making it more difficult. Let go. Chebal, let go.

Shin Hye smiled as she heard those words.

I want this to be more difficult, right? I asked for this, right?

And then, as she wiped her tears, she pressed that button, connecting their lines.

Shin Hye closed her eyes as she put that phone to her ears. She was seated there, waiting.
Geun Suk closed his eyes as he heard her answering the phone. He stayed there, gauging.
No one dared to say a word. No one tried to break their silence.
It’s as if that’s what they simply needed.
The assurance that he’s and there and she’s there.
No words needed.

Shin Hye slowly walked towards her window.
That guy slowly walked down his car.

As if their time is up, as that girl smiled, ready to let go, she heard his words.

“Don’t cry. Mianhae. This might be the last..for now. Saranghae”

And with that, they ended what they thought they had.
They drew the line. They let go.
They saved each other from hurting.
They pretended it didn’t hurt.
They pretended they were not breaking.
They pretended they were not in pain.
They pretended they can… let go…

—-
Days have passed after that night.
It must have been a silent agreement. Their paths never did cross once.

At times that girl would absentmindedly stand in front of that spot where that guy would always pick her up. She would stand there, walking back and forth, waiting.. hoping…

Then after five or ten paces, she would smile at nothing in particular, thankful that the guy has indeed kept his words.

Thankful.. is she?

That guy would at times visit that café near her school.
He would order her Americano and cheesecake, waiting.. hoping that she would come. He would sit there at their usual spot, craning his neck, hoping for that girl to appear.
Then after three or five sips, he would stare at her food in front of him, shaking his head.

Babo! She will not come. She will not.

Days have passed like that.
Them, hoping that the other would not keep his/her words.
Them, hoping that someone would be stubborn enough to break the rule.
And then, as if those days were years, as if they finally accepted their fate, that fate which they themselves have written, they finally let go.. pretended to let go.

One Monday afternoon, in the month of November, as the wind was becoming colder, winter threatening to make its presence be felt, as Shin Hye was walking near her bus stop, she stopped five steps away from her waiting spot.

For the past days, she dared not to step on that spot, scared that some memories would be fooling her heart again.

Shin Hye smiled as she remembered her words. She shook her head, then slowly took a step back, turning around, retreating from that spot.

Five steps away, she suddenly stopped, feeling that fear started to creep down her system again.

She shook her head, knowing exactly what that fear is for.

Then five, ten seconds after, she heard that voice, which for days, she longed to hear.

“Hey, little bugger!”

Shin Hye slowly turned around, facing that guy who was standing there, his hands in his pocket.

That girl tilted her head, smiling.

That guy has his head bowed down, his feet drawing circles on that ground.

“What took you so long?”, she asked bravely, a smile on her lips.

“Missed me?”, he asked, looking at her.

Shin Hye wrinkled her forehead, missing the playfulness of that guy.

“Arasseo.. arasseo.. mianhae… I have to do some thinking and sanity check. I’m back!”, he said, his arms open wide.

“I can see that…”, she said, shaking her head.

That guy slowly walked towards her, his eyes never leaving her face. “I miss that girl”

“Hm?”, she said, as she herself walked near him, gauging, warning him of his next words.

Geun Suk smiled, shook his head. “want to grab some coffee before I take you home?”

“You’re taking me home?”, she asked, worry beginning to envelope her heart.

That guy smiled, took her things, put his arm around her shoulder then said, “Can’t the Oppa bring his dongsaeng for coffee? Is there a rule saying that should not be done?”

Shin Hye smiled as he heard his words. “The Oppa has been quite stingy for the past days. Are you afraid this dongsaeng will eat a lot and consume all your hard-earned fortune?”, she said, teasingly.

Geun Suk took a step back, surprised of that girl.. that girl whom she met that day when she was waiting for her Oppa. He smiled, unsure whether to feel happy or scared.

He’s happy she’s ok.
He’s scared, she’s distancing herself that much.

Geun Suk smirked, waking up from that thinking. “You can order all you want. Eat all you want, and this Oppa will not even care if his card will be maxed out. Yah, better eat all you want, and become as big as you can so that no other guy would look your way….”, he said the last words slowly, knowing that he was threading a different line.

That girl stopped and looked at him. And pretending he didn’t notice his words, he continued walking then said, “Your Oppa will stay no matter what. They might find you too big, monstrous size, but this Oppa will not care. That is what Oppa is good for, right? They love their dongsaeng unconditionally.” He then smiled as if what he has just said is pretty normal.

As he opened the passenger’s seat, as she buckled her seatbelt and he’s settling himself in the driver’s seat, he heard his words which totally broke his pretending whole self.

“Oppa, can you find a girl?”, she said, without looking at him.

Geun Suk froze at her words. He smiled, let out a sigh of disappointment, and ignoring her words, he took a hold of that steering wheel and started the engine.

But he forgot.. almost forgot that the girl seated beside him is quite stubborn.

“Oppa, go find a girl. Date a noona. A beautiful one. “, she continued not looking at him.

Geun Suk looked at her, shaking his head.

Sensing that he’s looking at her, she smiled, met his gaze, and said, “I wonder what kind of girl you like, Oppa. If that day comes, I want to meet her. The dongsaeng might give an approval to her Oppa’s would-be girlfriend, right?”

Geun Suk smiled, feeling the awkwardness of the situation, them pretending that what’s they’re playing is not hurting them inside.

“That would take quite some time. I have too many commitments at the moment. I don’t think I can be a good boyfriend at this point in time,” he said, trying to drop that subject.

Shin Hye looked away, shook her head, then said, “I better find a boyfriend, then.”

Geun Suk abruptly stepped on break as he heard her words. “mworago?”

“I better find a boyfriend, Oppa. It won’t be fun if both of us are not seeing anyone”, she said, playing at her fingers.

“Park Shin Hye”, he said, almost shouting.

“Deh?”, that girl looked at him, pretending she didn’t know what he meant with those words.

Reading the worry in her eyes, the uneasiness, the discomfort that they are both in, Geun Suk shook his head and laughed at that kid. “Aniya… aniya… I know what you’re thinking”

“Oppa…” , she said, trying to read him.

“You can’t easily find a guy. You still cannot have a boyfriend. You’re too young for that.”

“Yah!”

“Wae? If one of us needs to date someone, I’ll be the one”, he said smiling, trying to hide his broken self. He’d rather be the one dating. He can do something with that. Not this kid. He cannot afford seeing that girl going out with someone.

Even if that is just a strategy to keep their distance, he cannot agree to it, she, dating someone else.
Even if he knew that is just make-believe, what if she falls? What if she falls for real before he could take back his words?
Aniya… that can’t do.. that won’t do.
He’d rather be that guy, playing around. Playing around….
Aniya.. he won’t play. He’d just keep someone close, to keep that girl closer to her.

Geun Suk smiled, “someone needs to date another in pronto, right?”

That girl nodded, gauging his words.

“Then, let it be me. I could find someone later tonight.”, he said, winking at her.

“What do you mean by that?”, the girl asked, trying to hide her broken heart.

That guy looked at her from head to toe, shook his head then said, “If I will wait for you to find someone else.. tch! It might take a lightyear”

“Yah!” she said, hitting him.

Geun Suk laughed heartily, trying to hide his broken self. “I will find one. When do you want to meet her?”

Shin Hye looked at him. She smiled weakly, then looked away.

“Yah! Are you jealous?”, he said, teasing her.

“Yah, Oppa! Why would a dongsaeng be jealous of her Oppa finding a girl?”, she said stubbornly.

“Ha ha ha!”

“I can find someone.. I can find someone too”, she said with a pout.

“Yah!”

“Wae? Is the Oppa jealous of the dongsaeng finding a guy?”, she said, meeting his eyes.

“Do you want to send someone to a hospital, Park Shin Hye?”

“Yah!”

“Better save a soul. And save me from an impending police record”, he said kiddingly.

“Oppa, are you serious? How could you…”

Geun Suk looked at her, then with that weak smile, he told her, “I will find someone. That’s a requirement, right?”

If that’s a requirement for you stay this close, I’ll find someone.

Shin Hye smiled weakly as well, without looking at him.

“Oppa, I’ll get off here. I think I forget to buy something. I need to grab something”, she said, opening the door before the light turned green. She immediately walked away, without looking back. She walked the opposite way, and when she saw the cars hitting their gas, she slowed down her pace and whispered, “Mianhae, Oppa. Mianhae”

—-

Days have passed. Shin Hye didn’t hear anything from that guy since that day. She was going on with her life, hoping that she’ll get used to his absence.

A week after that, a heavy snow has fallen on that side of Seoul.
No bus could come in. No mode of transport.
She was waiting at the café, hoping for the snow to stop. She was looking outside the window.

The clock has struck 8 in the evening, and there she was, still waiting..hoping.. for something she didn’t know.

One by one, the girls from her school has been picked up either by their parents or their respective boyfriends.
Her phone has been ringing. She would jump at times, somehow hoping to see a familiar name in her phone.

For two hours, she was quite disappointed, knowing that the guy has not been worried a bit.
Shin Hye pouted, as she looked around, waiting for someone to come and find her.

Her Mom has been ringing her, worried. “Arasseo, Eomma. I’ll wait for Oppa. Don’t worry. The café will not be closed until midnight. Oppa said he’s on his way already”

Shin Hye put her phone back on the table, her head leaning against the window.

Geun Suk Oppa…
Geun Suk Oppa…

Babo, Shin Hye.
You asked for this, right?

Oppa should worry about his dongsaeng, right?

Are you kidding me? Tch!

Thirty minutes have passed, then her phone rang.

“Shin Hye, I am stuck here at Jamsil. I don’t think I can reach there before 12. Can you find another place? I’ll be there as fast as I can”

“Aisssh! Oppa, I can manage. I’ll just walk to the subway. That would be faster. It would save us both of the trouble”

“Aissh! Jinja! Appa would kill me”

“Oppa, I can manage. Jinja”

“I’ll call Eomma. You stay there”

“Oppa!”

Beep. Beep. Beep.

“Jinja”, Shin Hye muttered under her breath. “I can go home”

A minute after, her phone rang.

“Eomma, I can manage. Jinja. The subway is just five minutes away. You can just pick me up at the station. Oppa is stuck at Jamsil. Jinja, Eomma, I can manage”

“Try to set your foot outside the café, and you’re dead!”

Shin Hye froze, upon hearing that voice. “Geun Suk Oppa?”

“I’ll be there in five minutes”

“Oppa, aniya.. andwae…”

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Aigoo!

Shin Hye stood outside the café, waiting. Her heart beating a thousand, excited to have a glimpse of that face. Exactly five minutes after, his car arrived, stopping in front of her.

“You’re really stubborn, aren’t you? I told you to wait inside, didn’t I?”

Shin Hye smiled, then said, “I didn’t wait for long, Oppa.” Then she walked around the car, opening the passenger’s seat.

“Shin Hye..”, before he could finish his words, Shin Hye has already opened the door, revealing a girl seated at her seat.

“Oh.. mianhae…”, she said, bowing her head.

Geun Suk walked near her, then opened the door at the back seat.

“Shin Hye, right? Stephanie here”, she said in her slang Hangul.

Shin Hye just bowed her head, smiling weakly at her.

All along the drive, that girl was dead silent. She was having a staring contest with the window of his car, not wanting to see the sight in front of her.

“I heard a lot about you”, Stephanie said, as she was feeding that guy with roasted chestnuts.

“Hm?”, she said, looking at the guy from the rearview mirror.

“Sometimes, I wonder whether you are really his dongsaeng. Didn’t he make a move on you?”, she said, straightforwardly.

Shin Hye averted her eyes from his, then smiled at that girl. “Ani.. Oppa, has a certain fettish. And I am not in any way be in that category”

“Hm?”, the girl said, smiling.

“He likes girls with slang Hangul, just like what you have”, she said, smiling.

“Jinja?”

“Hm?’, she said, nodding her head.

“Geun Suk, can we drop by at the pub? I need to hand something to Alice”

“I think I’m out of the way. Oppa, you can just drop me off at the intersection. I will just ask Shin Won Oppa to pick me up from there”

“I’ll send you first”, he said sternly.

“Geun Suk, Alice is waiting for me”

“Stephanie, can we just drop this girl off? Tell Alice we’ll be 30 minutes late”, he said, his voice a bit loud.

“Geun Suk, I’m just asking for favor from her. Can we just go there first? And besides, Shin Hye can already handle herself. She’s not a kid”, she said, irritated.

“Oppa, just drop me off at Jamsil. I can manage”, she said, though at the back of her head, she’s thinking otherwise.

Oppa, can you choose me over her?
Oppa, can you not drop me off there?
Oppa, I know I may sound twisted, but can you argue further and tell her you cannot just leave me there?
You won’t leave me there, right?
You’ll be worried, right?

And, as if taunting her, all her hopes shattered, her eyes almost welling in tears, as she heard him say, “What is Shin Won’s number?”

As they reached the intersection, Shin Won was already there, waiting for them.

Shin Hye opened the car door, and when Geun Suk motioned to go down as well, she stopped him, saying, “No need, Oppa. I think you need to hurry to go down to the pub. Your friends might have been waiting for long. Thank you for picking me up. Stephanie Unnie, mianhae”, then she went down, going straight to her brother’s car.

—-
A week after that, with her books in her arms, a bag on her shoulder, she found a newly opened café not too far from the Han. Curious, she went inside, hopeful to find something new that would ease her longing on the familiarity that she always look for.

As she stood in front of the counter, scanning the shelf of sweets, a familiar voice echoed inside.

“Americano and cheesecake, one frappe and chocolate cake”, he said, walking ahead of her, paying for the order.

Shin Hye looked at him, thinking where he has seen this guy.

“Kurt. I was with Geun Suk during the last meet up?”, he said, smiling.

“Ah…” , Shin Hye said, nodding her head. “Park…”

“Shin Hye, right?

Shin Hye nodded her head.

“You came in quite early.”, he said as he took his orders.

“Hm?”, she said, confused. She was about to place an order when Kurt looked at her, “Cheesecake and Americano, right?”

“Eh?”, Shin Hye said with widened eyes.

Kurt smiled, ushered her to a corner, as he asked, “You’re not waiting for someone, are you?”

Shin Hye shook her head, biting her lips.

“Wae? Is there a problem, Shin Hye-ssi?”

“Kurt..Oppa? Oppa is not expecting to see me here today”, she said, not knowing how to excuse herself. “I just came by because I saw the shop is new…”

Kurt laughed, looking at her. “No wonder that guy is crazy over you. You’re cute, jinja!”

Shin Hye just looked at him, dumbfounded.

“Aniya… aniya… I am not making a move. I don’t want to see my head rolling down….”, then remembering his last conversation with Geun Suk, that night when the guy drowned himself in alcohol, he paused, then looked at that girl. “Mianhae.. I think I’m talking a lot.”

Shin Hye smiled, seeing that awkwardness in Kurt. “No worries, Oppa. I’ll just keep you company for a while. “, she said as she took a spoonful of cheesecake.

‘You have quite an appetite”

“Yah!”

“Ha ha ha. I think I like you. The other guys are dying to see you again, Shin Hye-ssi”

“You can just call me Shin Hye”, she said, smiling.

“Arasseo…”

—-
They were talking in comfort when the door of the café open, and then a guy and a girl came in. They were quite friendly with each other, the girl whispering some words to that guy, while that guy is smiling, but trying to keep his distance.

As Shin Hye saw those who just came in, her eyes widened, not expecting to see him… with a girl.. with that girl again.

As Kurt saw her eyes, he looked back and saw his friend being too friendly with a girl.

He shook his head, then looked at that girl. “Mianhae.. I didn’t..”

Shin Hye lifted her head then smiled at him. “No worries, Oppa. I want to see Geun Suk Oppa as well”

“Shin Hye, I can usher you out if you…”, he said, trying to save that girl from meeting his friend.

That girl simply smiled and shook her head. Stubborn as she is, she just sat there, waiting to come face to face with her fear.

As Geun Suk walked towards that guy, he didn’t notice the girl sitting opposite him. He smiled hand in hand with that girl, laughing at nothing in particular, and when he reached that table, he saw a girl with her head bowed down. He didn’t know why, but his heart started to beat fast.

Shrugging that worry off, he eyed that girl again and looked at Kurt. “Yah, I didn’t know you’re going to bring a girl”, he said, and as he looked back at the girl seated beside Kurt, he almost lose his balance when he saw her face.

“I didn’t know YOU are going to bring a girl”, Kurt said, his eyes boring hole on him.

Geun Suk took a step back as he saw that face he wanted so much to see.

Shin Hye, sensing the situation, smiled and stood up. “You didn’t expect to see me, right, Oppa?” and looking at the girl standing beside him, Shin Hye bowed her head and smiled, “Stephanie Unnie”

The girl looked at Geun Suk, smiled, then looked at the table. Knowing what it is that she is trying to say, Shin Hye took her things and said, “Kurt Oppa, can you move a little? I want to sit on that side”.

“Thank you!” Stephanie said, pulling Geun Suk to sit beside her.

Stephanie sat at the corner, in front of Kurt, while Shin Hye was seated opposite Geun Suk.

“Kurt, right?”, Stephanie said, smiling at Kurt.

The guy just nodded his head, then looked at Geun Suk. He might have seen Shin Hye only the second time, but he wanted to punch his friend on the face for making this situation. Kurt didn’t know why, but that girl has something with her, making everyone around her wanting to protect her against anyone.

Shin Hye, sensing the tension, tapped Kurt’s hand, knowing the words said between their eyes. The act didn’t escape Geun Suk’s eyes. He bit his inner cheek, wanting to punch his friend for sitting beside his… girl.

“Have you placed your order?”, she said, her perky self channeling in.

“Tea?”, she said, as if asking that girl to stand up and get her drinks for her.

Kurt bit his lips, trying hard to control his anger.

“Sweets?”, Shin Hye asked further, ignoring the situation.

“I don’t eat sweets. I will get fat”

“Hm..”, she said, nodding her head. “Oppa?”, she said, pretending she didn’t know what it is that he likes.

That guy just looked at her, puzzled.

Shin Hye smiled and said, “Americano?”

The guy smiled weakly, and before she stood up, he grabbed her hand and said, “I’ll get the order.” He looked at her plate, then said, “Care for another slice?”

“We’ll be leaving in a few more minutes”, Kurt said, looking at him in the eyes.

Shin Hye saw how fire started to flare in his eyes. She swallowed, smiled at Kurt, then said, “Kurt Oppa, I can still stay for a while.”

As they were settled, Stephanie talked most of the time, sharing her experiences in the States. At times, she would speak in English, smiling at Geun Suk. The girl is quite touchy, leaning her head on Geun Suk, holding his hand, while the guy was just sitting there, looking at that girl.

And then, out of the blue, she looked at Shin Hye, then said, “You’re pretty. How old are you?”

“19”, she said, smiling.

“Are you seeing someone?”

She saw the guy flinched on the words. She can feel his eyes focused on her.

Shin Hye smiled, shaking her head. “Ani.. not allowed.”

“Eh. I didn’t know that parents in Korea are still that strict”

“Tch! Her Oppa would break that guy’s bone if ever she would see someone”

“Your Oppa is quite strict”, Stephanie said, shaking her head. “Lucky, I am not covered by such a culture. “, then she looked at Geun Suk, grinned, then continued, “I can date you openly”, she said, holding his face, giving his lips a tug.

She smiled mischievously, her hand caressing his arm. She’s biting her lips, controlling herself.

Shin Hye’s eyes widened as she saw her plan unfolding in front of her eyes.
As she saw that guy smiling back at that girl, she held her chest, preventing it from breaking.

Chebal, Shin Hye. Leave.

Her head has said, trying to pull her from an expected embarrassment.

She saw the girl wipe his lips with her fingers, and with those stares, she somehow knew what would happen next.

The guy hesitated at first, but he’s a guy after all.

He looked at his peripheral, gauging that girl.
Geun Suk closed his eyes, knowing that she’s hurting.

This is what you wanted, right?
You’ll stay, if I do this, right?

And forgetting all his inhibitions, he kissed her back, deeply, but not that way he wanted to kiss that girl.
His hand on her waist, her hand on his neck.

Kurt, seeing what his friend just did, stood up and pulled Shin Hye by the hand.
Stephanie, surprised, pulled back from Geun Suk, then looked at those two, sitting opposite them. “Mian. I didn’t mean to offend anyone”, she said, a bit embarrassed of her act.

Shin Hye shook her head, not wanting to look down at that girl. “Aniya. Mian. I need to go”
She said, her head bowed down, running to get out of that place in an instant.

Shin Hye ran as fast as she could.

This is what you wanted, right?
You asked for this, right?

And as she reached one corner, she hid herself, her tears could no longer be controlled. She cried like a kid, her heart poked by a thousand needles.

She was drumming her chest, hoping that would stop the pain. Slowly, she slid down, her hands wiping her tears.

“I’ll bring you home”, she heard his voice.

And when she opened her eyes, she found him standing in front of her.

Shin Hye wiped her tears, then said, “Aniya… I’m not going home yet. I still need to go somewhere”, she said as she tried to stand up, wiping her tears, avoiding his eyes.

“I’ll bring you home” he said sternly.

“Jinja! Why do you want to bring me home?”, she said, her voice a bit loud. “I’m not going home yet”

“Don’t be stubborn, Shin Hye. Where will you go with your eyes like these?”, he said, cupping her face, wiping her tears.

Shin Hye shook her head, removing his hands from her face. “I’m not a kid. Don’t treat me like one”

“And I’m not stupid”, he said, looking straight to her eyes. “Mianhae…”

“Tch! Why were you sorry? You didn’t do anything wrong”

“Stop being stubborn!”

“I’m not going home”

“Shin Hye”, he said grabbing her arm.

Shin Hye closed her eyes. And with heavy breathing, she continued to sob. “Oppa, chebal. Let go. My self is already mocking me. Don’t make my situation worse”

“Shin Hye”, he said, not letting go of her arm.

“Fine!”, she said, turning around, facing him. “What it is that you want to hear? I am jealous. I am dying when I saw you kissing her. I tried not to. Funny, right? I asked for this. Yet, I can’t stand seeing you with someone else.”

“I’ll bring you home”, he said, not wanting to see her like this.

“I am jealous, Oppa! Didn’t you hear me? You can laugh at me now.”

“Shin Hye, please stop. I don’t know what to do now. You keep on pushing me away, then you will act like this. What do you want me to do?”, he said, on the verge of screaming, irritated of that girl’s stubbornness.

“Nothing. I’m not asking you anything, Oppa. I told you, right? I am the problem. Not you”, she said, walking away.

“Park Shin Hye”, he shouted, stopping her from her track.

Shin Hye stopped, then without looking at him, she said, “when you picked me up that night, and I saw her seating on my seat, I almost cried Oppa. I was supposed to be there. I was supposed to throw my tantrums, making your head turn, asking you to do the impossible. When I asked you drop me off at Jamsil, I was hoping you would say no. I was hoping you would tell her to make her friend wait. I was hoping you would choose me over her. Pathetic, right?”. Shin Hye paused, biting her lips. “why is it easy for them to be together? Why is it easy for us to find someone else? Why can’t it be us, Oppa? Why do they keep on pulling us together, only to pull us apart? I hate it, Oppa. I hate this feeling. I hate them. I hate us”, then slowly, she turned around, looking at him in the eyes, “Mianhae, Oppa. I don’t think I can still face you after this.”

“Shin Hye’, that guy said, with tears, rolling down his cheeks.

“Give me some time, Oppa. I need to sort things out. Once I’m ok… once I know I can already face you, I will give you a call. Mianhae”, then slowly, she stepped back, and when she saw him walking near her, she shook her head, and ran as fast as she could.

—-

As days passed by, that girl would at times remember that guy she left that night.

Mianhae, Oppa.
You’re doing good, right?
I know you are.

She smiled as she placed her hand on her chest.

You’re doing good, right?
We’re doing ok, right?

And then, as she opened her computer, surfing the net, there she find his photos posted on every entertainment portal with a caption, “empty gesture”. Shin Hye’s forehead wrinkled as she read the news. That girl was furious. She’s biting her lips, controlling her anger.

That guy shuts his world off. He was hurting. He was in pain. But that doesn’t matter. He can carry on. He doesn’t care.

That girl was staring at her phone.

Aniya, I can’t face you yet, Oppa.
You still have her, right?
You still have them.
Mianhae.

That guy was looking at his phone.

Can I see you now?
Maybe by then, I will be ok.
I just want to see you.

And then a minute after, a message was sent.

“I want to get a cone. Do you want some?”

11 Comments »

3* Her One and Only Flower Boy

9th December 2012

Geun Suk was excitedly-nervous about the coming dinner show. The venue is not as big as Tokyo Dome nor it would compete with the number of eels in Saitama. He closed his eyes, smiled and drew a deep breath.

They will understand, right? They will like her. I know they will.

He looked far away. He thought about this for long. He asked her a couple of times. She rejected the idea for a couple of times and more.

That girl would not agree. She has her list of excuses. She has her priorities, her pre-requisites. And he understands. He’s not asking her to marry him right there and then. He just wanted to introduce her to those chosen few who he thinks would understand.

Geun Suk shook his head. He could still remember how that girl looked at him in eyes, asking
him to understand her.

“They will not eat you, Princess”

“They won’t like me, Oppa”, she said, her eyes full of worry.

“They will. They do”

“Oppa..”, she said, shaking her head.

“Trust me. There won’t be a problem. They love you”

“What if they won’t? What if they don’t?”

“They will. They do”

“What if…”

“Princess…”, he said, hugging her.

“Oppa…”, Shin Hye pouted, her head buried to his chest.

“They can’t do anything. Even if they won’t.. even if they don’t. I’m not asking for their permission, Princess. I’m not testing the water here. I just want them to know. I want to give them the privilege to know the bigger part of my life. I am the Asia Prince. The Boss of Eels. But more than that, I am a man, too. I am in love, and I am in love with you.”

Geun Suk saw how her cheeks blushed the moment he said those words. That girl buried her head deeper to his chest. “For the record, Oppa. I have never been afraid of antis”, she said in a whisper, a smile on her lips.

“Hm?”, he answered, knowing exactly what she will say next.

“Oppa, I just don’t want them to hate you. We can still wait, right? It’s not as if we’re getting married after that night”

“I can no longer wait. I don’t want to wait anymore. Aisssh! A lot of flower boys are roaming around my Princess. Do you think I can still wait?”, he teasingly said, hugging that girl tighter.

“Yah! Oppa!”, that girl said, hitting him on the chest.

“Don’t you trust me?”, he said, looking down at her.

“Don’t YOU trust me, Oppa?”, she answered back, looking at him.

“Will you still be running away?”

“Do you think I will?”

“Princess… I love you”, he said, lovingly.

“Ara.. and you do know that I love you too, right, Oppa?”

“Ara.. ara.. will do how you want it to be done. “, he said, kissing her on top of her head.

Geun Suk was smiling as he was preparing for that dinner show.

Will they like her?
What will they say?
That girl would probably be nervous by now.

Geun Suk shook his head, grinning at how that girl would be pouting by now. He took his phone and dialed his number 1.

First ring..
Second.
Third..
Voicemail.

Geun Suk looked at his phone blankly. His other self mockingly laughed at him as he remembered how he tried to reach her after that conversation the moment her plane landed in Seoul.

He was waiting for her call on the day she was scheduled to reach Korea, but never did his phone ring. He waited for an hour or two after the confirmed arrival of her plane, but he didn’t hear anything from that girl. He dialed her number a hundred times, but never did she answer the call.

Something is odd. Something is not right.

He’s supposed to be mad. That girl deserve some scolding after that act that she has pulled in that after party, but here she was, ignoring his calls, ignoring him completely.

With fire in his eyes and closed fist, Geun Suk smirked, took his car key and drove to that side of Seoul.

He has an evil grin on his lips as he sped up, trying to break his records on driving from this side to that side.

The girl might have been scared, too scared that she doesn’t know how to face him.

Geun Suk shook his head,smiling, as he pictured Shin Hye, seated at the corner of her bed, her knees hugged to her chest, her head bowed down as she heard his footsteps approaching her door.

He was at that mode of thinking, preparing his poker face, when as he parked in front of her house, he stopped in his track, as he heard her laughter echoing along the driveway, Bongji and Nori’s bark mixing with her excitement.

Geun Suk looked at her house blankly, and though he can sense something is wrong, he decided still to walk inside and come face to face with that girl.

As he knocked to their front door, the door opened, revealing Mrs. Park who’s smiling weakly at him.

“Jangmonim?’, he asked as he hugged the elder.

“She’s at the living room.”, she answered as she hugged him back.

Geun Suk just looked at her Mother, confused on what those words are for.

“I don’t know what happened, Geun Suk. But I think, you need to talk to her”

Geun Suk absentmindedly nodded his head as he made his way to their living room.

As he saw her silhouette, her back facing him, everything seems a bit normal.

And then, probably sensing his presence, that girl stopped laughing, paused for a while, as her dogs came running to him.

Still not facing him, Geun Suk kneeled down, hugged her puppies, his eyes glued to that girl.

“Princess…”, he tried to call.

Five seconds or ten, still with no word from her, when he’s about to call her again, he was surprised when she stood up from her Indian seat position, and then slowly, she faced him.

Ani.. there was nothing odd. She had her hair tied in loose pony tail. She’s in her tights and knitted sweater, probably a bit cold because of the weather. But when she lifted her face, he was surprised when she saw her blank stare, her lips smiling, but empty.
“Deh, Oppa”

Geun Suk closed his eyes, trying to forget that afternoon.

As one of the crews knocked to his door, he faked a smile, trying to make his self believe on something that his heart has been worried of since that afternoon.

She will come. She will.
And even if she dare not.. even if she will not, everything will be ok.

Geun Suk did not dare ask whether that special guest has confirmed her presence for tonight.

She will come. She will,right?

And as the show started, as the eels were ushered inside, Geun Suk kept on pacing back and forth at the backstage.

She will come, right? She will come, no matter what.

Geun Suk kept on saying that phrase, as if it’s a chant which would bring that girl in front of him.

The dinner has started. The food has been served. Geun Suk’s neck has been craning, looking for that soul. His eels have been screaming his name, but he could not hear a thing. His heart beating a thousand, having a race with his head.

During coffee time, he went on stage, a guitar on hand.
He played some songs as listed on the schedule.

She will be happy by now. She’s here, right?
Her Prince has personally pick this time, this coffee time, to make his appearance on stage.
I should be teasing you by now. Should it be coffee, tea, or me?
I know how you love coffee, but you love me more than your Americano, right?

Geun Suk heaved a sigh as he looked at the farthest end of the room. He’s looking for something.. for that someone.. for that missing part of him.

He blinked a tear as he scanned that room, and still could not feel her presence.

As he finished the last song, he closed his eyes, and said a silent prayer.

The show is about to end. She should be here by now.

He looked around, and as he saw Keunsama, the guy smiled at him, but his smile was weak.
The Tree-j angels were looking at him, and when he asked them that question, one by one, they bowed their heads.

Ani… this is not happening….

He was thinking of running away.. of finding that soul, when as he was on his feet, ready to break free, he was awaken by the sound of the mic and the emcee appeared on stage.

“Jang Geun Suk-ssi.. “

Geun Suk smiled, knowing that the show must go on. He put on his pretense, knowing his responsibility. He smiled to everyone, as if everything is ok. As if he’s whole.. as if he’s not breaking into pieces.

“Jang Geun Suk-ssi, how are you?”

“I want to fall in love…”

“eh?”, the emcee was rattled the moment he said those words.

“Eels, your Prince wants to fall in love… ani, I am in love… I was… I’ve been seeing her… for the past years.. in the days to come, and in the days after that. I’m just not sure until when…” he smiled, remembering the very words which she said a few days back. “Might be until tomorrow.. next month.. next year… but definitely not as long as I want to… I loved her. I love her. I will love her, even if she no longer wants me to…”, Geun Suk closed his eyes, trying very hard not to break in front of his eels. “Mianhae.. mianhae…”

And then, as if taunting him, as he closed his eyes, he heard the emcee said something that made his heart skipped a beat.

“May I call in.. the most important woman in his life…”

Geun Suk’s eyes widened as he heard those words.

“Mrs. Jang.!!!!”

Geun Suk smiled knowing clearly that it is his Eomma who made that spiel.

“Surprised, Adeul..”, Mrs. Jang said as she sat beside her son, her smile playing a trick. “You didn’t expect to see me, right? Should I make a correction on that? Not the most important person in his life. Not anymore.

“Eomma!”, Geun Suk whined like a kid.

“Wae? Should I still pretend to be the most important one? Or, am I back to be the most important one?”, Mrs. Jang smirked, playing along with that kid’s head.

Geun Suk just looked at his Mom. His face blank, his eyes cold.

She did know. She knew.
Did she tell her? Has she left him?

Geun Suk looked at his Mom’s eyes, trying to find the answer to his questions, but the elder is simply like him. He got it from her. Hiding when you know that someone is reading you.

“So what’s the future daughter-in-law requirements?”

“Nothing. I just require honesty. “, she said, looking at nothing in particular.

Geun Suk waited. He excitedly waited, anticipating the grand elaboration of her Eomma on her prospected daughter-in-law. He waited for twenty seconds or thirty, and when he didn’t hear any word, he looked at her, puzzled. And as if trying to save himself from drowning in her silence, he teasingly added, “That is not what you said at home, she needs to be 3 years younger and must be from year of horse.”

“Did I say that, Suk-di?”, his Mom said, looking at him.

“Eomma… there’s only one.. she’s the only one…”, he said in a whisper.

“Nu-gu?”

“Eomma…”, Geun Suk panicked as he heard his Mom.

“I don’t want to put pressure on you anymore, Adeul. I don’t want to burden her as well. If she cannot be my daughter-in-law, I guess she would agree to be my daughter. I’m ok with that”, she said, smiling at him.

“Eomma!”, Geun Suk, objected not wanting to hear any more.

“Wae, Adeul? There are a million young girls out there who are three years your junior and almost all of them are probably born in the year of the horse. That’s too general.”

“But there’s only one that you..”

“It won’t be about me, Suk-di. It’s not about me”

Geun Suk looked at his Mom and when he saw the comfort against the sadness in her eyes, he looked around, hoping that this is just part of the show.

He tried to stand up, and when he’s about to run away, his Mom held him in the arm and said in a whisper, “Don’t do something stupid Geun Suk. Don’t tie her down to something she doesn’t want to.”

Geun Suk looked at his Mom, his eyes welling in tears.

Ani.. this is not happening.

And then remembering that afternoon when he had a conversation with her, remembering his words.. her words…

——
I don’t think I can do it, Oppa. I’m not ready yet.

He remembered how he looked at her, trying to read her.

You still have time, right? Change the script. Make a new story.

He looked back at her, knowing the meaning between her words.

If you don’t want to do it, then don’t. I will not tell them. He said, trying to pretend that he didn’t hear between the lines.

You do know what I mean, Oppa. I don’t think…

He averted his eyes, looking at nothing in particular. I’ll ask Hong Ki to come. I’ll ask Kurt. You won’t be singled out. They won’t know. I just want you to be there.

He remembered how she looked at him. She smiled weakly. Mianhae… I don’t think I can.

And with that she turned around without looking back.

Park Shin Hye!

The girl stopped, waited for him to say something.

I’m not mad. I understand. I know.

Then, he saw her closed and opened her hands. She’s getting uncomfortable, he knew.

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

You clearly know what I’m saying. I’m not mad.

She saw the girl took a deep breath. It’s not always about you, Oppa.

He remembered he smiled when he heard her stubborn self.

I want to get mad when I saw that video. I was planning to play with you, probably start a fight, pretend that I am mad. But when I was calling your phone, and you never did once answer back my call, I know there’s a problem.

Oppa…

Geun Suk tried his best to sound funny, laugh it out, but deep inside, he’s slowly eaten by fear.

I’m not asking you to marry me now. I’m not telling you to stop going out, to mingle with people your age. I’m not asking you to stop having fun.

Jang Geun Suk-ssi!

Princess…

He remembered she turned around, facing him. Oppa, I’m scared. I got nervous. I don’t know. I don’t know what I want. I hate it whenever I hear people saying that you look good with someone else. Or when people mention that you might be dating someone else and that someone is not me. I wanted to shout at them and tell them that it is me… the girl you’ve been seeing. That girl you fall in love with. I find it exciting whenever we try to pretend that we’re not what those observant eyes are assuming we are. I find it quite fun whenever we try to have our cover, hide and appear in cognito to everyone. But deep down inside, I want them to know that you are mine and I am yours.

Shin Hye…

But, I got scared, Oppa. When I went in that after party, I was scared. I was looking for that familiar warmth who always keep me company whenever I go to a crowded place like that. I miss those hands who always hold me, protecting me from anyone in the crowd. I was looking blankly at anyone. I was on my feet, ready to hide inside my room, and wait for that day to end, when as I was about to step away from them, I heard the music..the beat.. the rhythm inviting me to dance. I saw them having fun. I saw them gliding, swaying, screaming like they don’t care whether there’s a camera focused on them, or whether they will be scolded later on for showing that different side of them. Oppa, I feel like I have an other side which has been kept deep down since I met you. It’s like I’ve been trapped in a bottle, my action always measured.. my words always counted. I don’t know, Oppa. I think I need some space.

Shin Hye…

Mianhae, Oppa…

Geun Suk looked at her retreating back, and before she could take another step further, he turned around as well, and letting go of his pride, he said, without looking at her. I’ll be waiting. I’ll wait for you.

——
Then, as if worry has eaten him wholly.. as if his confidence was running thin, as his hope for that girl to come has been taken away by thin air, Geun Suk took his guitar and sat at the middle of the stage. He looked around once again, hoping to find that girl.

As he strummed his guitar, the intro of that song which he wrote with that girl in his head.. during that time when he was pleading her to stay.. asking her to stay.. to believe, his tears ran down his cheeks as he started playing her song.

There she had to stay where I will not stay
Misunderstanding occurs even if we care for each other.
It ends up without any progress.

As he was pouring his heart out, a familiar warmth has enveloped his heart. And as if confirming what he has felt, as he strummed the next line..

And you… slow slow

And before he could say the word gone, the crowd screamed as a shadow passed by him, then the audience become dead silent.

No sound would be heard, except for the beating of his heart.. and the beating of her heart.

Geun Suk closed his eyes, thanking the heavens for the answered prayer.

And before that girl could run away again, he put down his guitar, he stood up, and slowly faced her.

Shin Hye did not know how it happened, but as she opened her eyes, she was slowly climbing that stairs, her eyes glued on the ground. She was trembling, her hand opening and closing, confused why she’s here.. what she’s doing here.

As she reached the final step of the stairs, she heard the sound of the guitar stopped. Her head hanging low, she’s fiddling her fingers, waiting for a scream of disapproval from that crowd.

She felt all eyes were on her.

She closed her eyes, checking whether this is really what she wanted.

And then ignoring those stares, those death glares from some, she felt those familiar warmth from the eyes of that guy.

Slowly she lifted her head. Slowly she met his gaze.

And there he was.. that guy standing in front of her.. smiling, a bit proud.

That girl smiled shyly. She tried to lift her foot and walked near him, but she cannot feel her limbs. She tried to look around, gauging the crowd.

And just like before, when she first showed her presence in the middle of his eels, just like a drowning soul in the midst of his fans, there she saw that woman who first gave her the confidence to love this soul.

Mrs. Jang smiled at her, then said in a soft voice, “my daughter-in-law”

Shin Hye nodded her head, and slowly she looked around, reading those eyes which are now fixed on her.

She closed her eyes, afraid to see their message.

And then as if saving her from drowning in that feeling of uncertainty, in that feeling of being alone, she felt two strong arms wrapped around her, his head on the crooked of her neck.

And as she had the confidence of wrapping her arms around him, she heard his voice echoed along the hall,“Park Shin Hye.. I’ll tell you everyday, so listen carefully.. SARANGHAE!”

And with that, he distanced his face from her, he cupped her face, looked at her lovingly, and with that mischievous grin, he smiled, slowly closed their distance.. his hand on her waist, the other on her face, he captured her lips for who knows how long..

Shin Hye didn’t have an idea what was happening. She didn’t hear the oohhhs and ahhhhs and the screaming of approval from the crowd. She didn’t hear their clapping of hands and the tears of joy from those who knew them too much. She didn’t know nor feel anything, until she heard music ringing in her ears, she felt tears running down her cheeks.

As her tears mixed with his, she saw him smiled at her then, he whispered in her ears, “No more running away, Princess. No one is letting go. Saranghae”

8 Comments »

2* The Flower Boy Next Door

November 30, 2012
HongKong, MAMA

Shin Hye was smiling all along the red carpet walk upto their stage appearance, presenting an award to EXO.

Si Yoon was the Little Prince while she wanted to be the Goddess in Red.

As Si Yoon answered that question from one of the MC’s at the red carpet, Shin Hye smiled, remembering her Prince.

He’s currently at Haneda now, probably preparing to go back to Seoul.

Shin Hye looked at her phone, anticipating a call from that Prince. The moment the plane landed in HongKong, Geun Suk kept on calling her, asking random things, making her glued to her phone for almost the whole day. But the moment TVN staff came in for the Taxi filming, and the MNET crew approached her for the MAMA behind the scenes, she told that guy that she needed to hang up.

“Ara… I love you!”, Geun Suk shouted, earning him an oohhhh and ahhhh from his staff.

Shin Hye smiled, bit her lips and said, “Ara… I need to hang up now, Oppa”

“I love you”, he repeated. This time, softer, but more sincere.

“Hm..”, she answered smiling.

“Park Shin Hye…. I love you…”, the guy tried to push his luck.

“Oppa, they are standing near me…”, she whispered, hoping that the guy would understand.

“I love you”, he said again, waiting for an answer from her.

“nado… nado…”, and then, she playfully added, “If you’re not you, I guess I could shout here as well those words that you have just said. But since you are you and I am me, I better not”

“Hm?”, the guy was dumbfounded for a minute.

“I need to go, Oppa. Annyeong!”

And then, just like that, she had her last word with her Oppa for that day.

——

Before the after party, as Si Yoon fetched her from her room, before they went down the hotel, when he noticed that she didn’t bring anything with her, Si Yoon held her arm, stopping her, then asked, “You’re not bringing anything?”

Shin Hye looked at her, looked at herself, then said, “Myself?”

“Funny. Ha ha ha”, Si Yoon sarcastically said. “Powder?”

“Aniyo..”

“Cellphone?”

“Hm..”, she paused for a while, pouted her lips then said, “might not be needed”

“Eh? Are you not expecting any call?”

“Eh?”

“I mean, what if someone calls you”

“Then, they’ll know that i am not available to answer the call and he’ll know that I am angry him.”, she said the last part in a whisper.

“Shin Hye-ssi..”

“Oppa, we won’t be staying there for long, right?”, she lifted her head, smiling like a kid.

“Even so… Give me your phone, I’ll be holding it”

“Arasseo.. arasseo…”

As they went inside, she held Si Yoon by the arm, not letting go of that guy.

And then, feeling a pair of eyes watching over her, she turned her head, and there she found Joong Ki.

“Oppa”, she waved her hand, smiling at that guy.

Joong Ki teasingly smirked at Shin Hye, eyeing Si Yoon from head to toe.

“Yah! Oppa!”, Shin Hye hit him at his arm, asking him to shut up.

After the introduction, Joong Ki stood nearer Shin Hye and whispered, “this guy is quite good looking”

“Say it out loud, in front of someone I know, and you’ll see what good looking means”, Shin Hye shook her head, smiling at Joong Ki.

“Aigoo! Goddess in Red, me saying that this guy is good looking won’t have anything to do with that someone. It’s the you, listening to my rant that the guy is good looking, and the you agreeing to that statement, and that you, smiling, giggling like a highschooler here would definitely define what that statement means to that someone”

“Hm?’, Shin Hye said, quite puzzled of his words.

“It’s all about you, Princess. Anything not concerning you does not mean a thing to him”

“Jinja?”, she said, smirking. “Last time I checked, that someone has not returned any of my call in the last three hours”

“Jinja? He might have then met the other girl”, he said, teasingly.

Shin Hye looked at him, and with serious eyes, said, “It’s not funny, Oppa.. not funny”

“Yah, Shin Hye-ya. I’m just kidding. “

“Arasseo..” she said, nodding her head.

As they were invited to pose for a photo, Shin Hye held Si Yoon’s hand, asking him to join them. The guy just smiled, bowed his head to Joong Ki, but stood there, an arm length away from Shin Hye.

“Does he really need to guard you like that?”, Joong Ki said, smiling at the camera, without looking at her.

“Yah, Oppa!”

“I mean, honestly, does TVN really work like that? I understand you have some filming as part of your promotion, but him guarding you like this would definitely not make that someone I know happy”

Shin Hye just looked at Si Yoon, shook her head, smiling at Joong Ki.

At the after party, Shin Hye was offered some drinks. She has downed some cocktail glasses, a bit tipsy at the middle of the happenings, when as Big Bang made their way on the stage, Shin Hye could only remember her dancing with Hye Sul and Cha Ye Ryun.

Great! Speaking of hiding from Oppa!

As she heard the beat of the song, Shin Hye’s body flow with the rhythm, dancing with whatever beat is thrown at her. At times she was puzzled, Hye Sul dancing at the other end, while Ye Ryun was pulling her on the other. Si Yoon was moving with the rhythm, not really dancing, but was standing near her.

When she saw the crowd beginning to become a bit wild, while standing with Ye Ryun, she whispered to Si Yoon that she needed to go back to the bar and return her glass. Gentleman that he is, Si Yoon took the glass, but did not leave her on the dancefloor. He ushered her outside of the crowd. Shin Hye followed without asking anything, but something really was a bit odd.
When they returned to the floor, Ye Ryun held her still, while Si Yoon was standing at her side.

As Dae Sung, probably already drunk, went near their space, she didn’t know why, might be the effect of alcohol… or the feeling of freedom… she shook her body and glide to the beat.

Then, she saw one guy who keep on coming back to their space, pulling Dae Sung away. She was smiling, her mind still working, shaking her head, speculating that the other guys knew Dae Sung was drunk and that they don’t want him to do something stupid; when as she turned her head, she saw those eyes fixed on her, as if saying, Gather your act together, Shin Hye-ya, if you don’t want that guy who just arrived in Seoul from Haneda, to book a flight to Hongkong.

Shin Hye was looking at him, and then when it dawned to her, she recognized the face, “Mithra. Jin Mithra. Mithra Oppa… Chocoballs. I’m dead!”

She was about to stop dancing, when as she looked to her right, she saw Dae Sung looking at her, and in an instant,though she was at the sideline, she didn’t know how it happened, but as Dae Sung moved a step aside, she was instantly at the center, dancing her heart out, forgetting the message that she read from Mithra’s eyes.

Twenty… thirty seconds before the song ends, as she was dancing, almost getting close to Dae Sung, she felt someone passing in between them, then PSY suddenly appeared on the stage.

She looked at that guy who just passed by, and was not surprised when she saw Mithra looking back at her.

When PSY was called and the famous GANGNAM Style was played, Shin Hye found herself surrounded by girls again, Ye Ryun and Hye Sul on her sides.

Two minutes after, as Dae Sung came closer to their space again, Si Yoon stood closer to her.

Ten seconds after, Si Yoon checked his phone and sent a message.

Twenty seconds, another message came in, and as the guys were shouting that cuss word, and as Dae Sung was passing by in front of her, Si Yoon, stood closer to her and whispered something.

“A message was sent to Seoul”

“Hm?”

“Someone is going to be dead later”

Confused of his words, Shin Hye looked at him and hit him on the shoulder.
—–

“I like you”, he said, smiling at her.

“Hm?”, she asked with widened eyes.

Then remembering that day they had coffee together…

How he spoke and intently listening at them, while knowing exactly when she will need to take her sugar or, hand her a tissue…
How he gave his opinion, too mature of his age, and laughed crazily at her childish antics.
How that guy would know when to stand before she even excused herself to go to the ladies…
Though he didn’t escort her to where she’s going nor held her hand,Si Yoon noticed how silent he became and how his eyes flew to that corner where she went, and how his ideas came back the moment he saw her walking towards them..

She might be too careful, but Si Yoon saw how Shin Hye’s eyes widened when the guy raised his hand, probably attempting to hold that girl.
How she trembled when she heard him asking her if she’s seeing someone, and how she tried to look at that guy, pleading him to understand.
How she nervously answered her question, her words coming from her heart, her eyes fixed on the table, her lips with a smile.
They might not notice it…

It might look too normal to them..
They might try to act too distant from each other…
but the warmth in their eyes, the spark of their smiles…
the feel of watching an unwritten script unfolding before you….
that familiarity….gave them all the way..

“I like you. I don’t think i will be able to say that later on. I just want you to know. I like you”

He looked at that girl, probably confused.. probably a bit drunk..

And then remembering those calls…

Ani… it’s not only that guy who keeps on calling him..

At one point, her phone would vibrate… then after a series of missed calls from Hong Star, the same number would dial his, asking if that girl is ok.

A few seconds after, another series of missed calls… Bolmae Jung, and then a minute after, his phone would ring, pleading him to bring that girl back to her room.

And then, he might have just imagined it, but after Mithra talked to someone over the phone, that girl’s phone won’t stop ringing..

My Number 1..

Ani.. he didn’t know who he is, until that same number, appeared on his phone..

“Si Yoon-ssi?”

“Geun Suk-ssi”

“Can you drag that girl outside of the venue, before i could call everyone in there to stop the party, just so that girl would simply retreat back to her room?”

Si Yoon, smiled, remembering that call.

And before Shin Hye could go inside, he called her name again, handed her phone, then said, “Your number 1 has been waiting for your call. I guess you’re in a big trouble”, then he bowed his head, smiled, and walked away.

Five feet away from her, he stopped then he said, without looking back, “So, the anecdotes regarding Chocoball is true.. Should i wait for an invitation, then?”, he said, turning around, winking at her.

1 Comment »

1* Her Flower Boys

December 1, 2012

As Si Yoon ushered her to her room, Shin Hye a bit tipsy after that after-party, she looked at him, bowed her head, then said, “Mianhae, Oppa. It’s quite embarrassing to be at this state. You just saw me a few days back, and here i am, a bit out of control”

Si Yoon rumpled her hair, smiled then said, “Just go in. You need to get some rest”

Shin Hye bit her lips, lifted her bowed head then said, “Arasseo.. Jinja, Oppa. Mianhae…”

Si Yoon just smiled, and opened her room door for her. As she was about to go inside, she heard him calling unto her.

“Shin Hye-ya…”

“Hm?”, she said, looking back at him.

“I like you”, he said, smiling at her.

“Hm?”, she asked with widened eyes.

“I like you. I don’t think i will be able to say that later on. I just want you to know. I like you”

—-

November 21, 2012

During their first script reading, Shin Hye’s phone would keep on vibrating, receiving messages from that guy. She was already a bit irritated, not being able to concentrate on what she’s doing.

On his nth call, Shin Hye excused herself and went out of the conference hall.

“Yeo…”

“One more call… one more ring from this phone, and i’m telling you, Oppa, you will have Jun Oppa answering your call”

“Yah, Park Shin Hye!”

“Try me, Oppa”, she said, his stubbornness really getting to her nerves.

“Yah!”

“Hm?”, she asked, giving him a chance to say what it is that made him dialled those calls.

“I’ll pick you up later”

“Yah!”, she said, a bit rattled.

“Go in now. They might be looking for you”

“Oppa… andwae!”

“Wae? Shin Hye-ya, i will be leaving four days from now. Can i at least fetch you and spend some time together before we faced another round of commitments?”

“Oppa..”

“I won’t be making a scene. Promise”

“Aisssh!!! Why am i feeling nervous, Oppa?”

“Aigoo! This little girl. Don’t you trust your Oppa?”

“With this randomness, i doubt i can”

“Aisssh! Go in now. Love you, Princess”

“Oppa!”, Shin Hye said, trying to persuade him.

“Hm?”, he said, quite disappointed that she doesn’t want to see him.

Shin Hye, understanding his silence, pouted, smiled, and said, “Arasseo, Oppa… I’ll give you a call once we’re done. I love you, too.”

—-

Two hours have passed, and as the director wrapped up their first script reading, Shin Hye dialled his number and whispered, “Oppa, we’re done. Meet me at Hyunduk Oppa’s place”, she was still about to say something, when her heart almost jumped from her chest when she heard a voice calling her..

“Shin Hye-ya, are you in a hurry”

“tch! is that the flower boy?”, Geun Suk asked from the other line.

“Aisssh, Oppa! Changkaman…”, she whispered.

“Hm? Wae-yo, Si Yoon Oppa”

“I’m just wondering whether we could grab a cup of coffee and discuss some things in the script?”

“The guy is making a move. Should i make known of my presence”, the guy smirked at the other line.

“Aisssh! Mianhae, Oppa…”

“Mianhae?”

Beep.. beep.. beep..

Did she just hang up on me?

Shin Hye bit her lips, knowing exactly that she would be punished later on. She was looking at her phone, apologizing to what she has just done.

“Oppa, hm… i have already made some arrangement for today. Mianhae”

“Aigoo! Enrique has already been rejected on his first attempt”

“Yah, Oppa!”, she said, with a pout.

Si Yoon, just looked at her smiling. “Arasseo. Arasseo. Are you going downstairs? Jun Hyung might be waiting for you”

“Hm…”, Shin Hye didn’t know how to answer.

“Wae? I won’t be sending you home, Go Dok Mi. I will just be walking with you to the lobby?”

“Arasseo, Oppa. Mianhae”, Shin Hye said, smiling at him.

Ten minutes later, they were already at the lobby, waiting for her car. They were smiling, laughing at nothing in particular, when the door of the lobby opened, and there she saw the guy in sunnies and cap, his face hidden, but she’s definitely sure who the guy is.

“Jinja”, Shin Hye whispered, her eyes squinted.

The guy walked near them, with a grin on his face.

“Aisssh!”, she said, her forehead wrinkled, as if telling that guy to back off.

Geun Suk, loving the redness of her cheeks, and the confusion in her eyes, hasten his pace and stopped near the two.

“Go Mi Nam”, he said as he stood there in front of her.

Shin Hye shook her head, averted her eyes.

“GO MI NAM?”

“Jang Geun Suk, Sunbae?”, Si Yoon stood up as he recognized that face.

“Si Yoon, right?”, Geun Suk said, smiling at that guy.

Si Yoon smiled as well, and offered his hand to Geun Suk. “Deh, Sunbae”

“Don’t call me, Sunbae. I’m not that old. ’87.” Geun Suk said, laughing at him.

Si Yoon shook his head, then answered, “’86”

“Oh.. so, should I call you Hyung?”

“Ani.. aniya.. no need”, Si Yoon answered, feeling the awkwardness of being called as Hyung by his Sunbae.

“You call me Geun Suk, I’ll call you by your name. Settled?”, Geun Suk said, shaking his head.

And as if remembering the reason he was here, he searched for that girl again, who by then, was slowly walking away, trying to hide from him.

“Park Shin Hye”, he said a bit loud, calling the attention of the others at the lobby.

Shin Hye shot him a dagger look, as she looked back, stopping from her track.

“Shin Hye-ya, didn’t you recognize Geun Suk sunbae?”, Si Yoon said, smiling at Shin Hye.

“O.. a.. Geun Suk Oppa”, she said, turning her body, her head bowed down..

“Tch! I parked the car outside. I’ve been waiting for an hour now but you are not answering my call”

Shin Hye’s eyes widened as she heard his words. And before, she could say her piece, Si Yoon’s face were moving from her and Geun Suk’s direction, probably trying to rationalize everything that he is hearing.

“You… and you….”

And before that girl could say a word, Geun Suk winked at her then looked at Si Yoon, “Ani.. ani… it’s not what you’re thinking. We’ll only eat outside”

Aisssh! Who would believe you, Oppa. You don’t have any business here, and here you are, driving to this side of Seoul, picking me up to grab something to eat? Jinja.. believable!

Probably knowing what is running in that girl’s head, Geun Suk smirked then added, “Hong Ki and Yong are already waiting for us. Cafe Analog?”

Shin Hye was able to breathe out the moment she heard the name of their two other friends.

Jinja! Did he plan all of these, and had those two as an accomplice?

Shin Hye shook her head, smiled at Geun Suk, then looked at Si Yoon, “Si Yoon Oppa, i think we need to leave. Geun Suk Oppa,i guess, would have some stories to tell me later on”, she smiled and bowed her head.

As she turned around, she almost had a heart attack when she heard what Geun Suk said next, “Do you have somewhere to go after this one? If you’re not busy, maybe we can grab some coffee and have a small chat?”

Shin Hye immediately looked back, throwing that guy some dagger look. Geun Suk knew she was looking at him, but he preferred not to meet her gaze. Shin Hye stood there, hoping that Si Yoon would not agree.

Tch! The stars might not be on her side for this day. For, as she was about to start a prayer, she heard that guy smiled and said, “I will just get my car. I will follow you there”, then he looked at Shin Hye, nodding his head.

Geun Suk followed his gaze and smirked upon seeing that smile.

Shin Hye just bowed her head and immediately went outside of the building.

Geun Suk followed closely behind her, his hands in his pocket, waiting for that girl to explode.

As she sat down, buckling her seatbelt, Geun Suk prepared his self for that impending explosion.

After five, ten minutes, still with no words coming from the passenger’s seat, Geun Suk looked at that girl, then asked, “Are you not going to say something?”

“Do i have to say something, Oppa? tch! I think you already know what it will be all about, so why don’t you just save me of the interrogation and give me the answers that i want to hear”, she said, her words laced with sarcasm.

“I just want to eat with you”, he said, smiling.

Shin Hye threw him a dagger look. “and with him”, he swallowed, continuing his sentence.

The girl squinted her eyes, asking him to continue. “Yah!” he said, a bit irritated for the silent treatment and this monologue.

Shin Hye just raised her eyebrows, challenging him.

Knowing that he’s at fault, Geun Suk continued, without looking at her. “I just want to know him more”

“Wae?”, she asked, irritated of this set up.

“Do i still need to spell that out?”

“Oppa, here we go again.”

“Shin Hye-ya…”

“Don’t you trust me, Oppa?”

Geun Suk didn’t say a word. He remained silent, his eyes focused on the road.

“Don’t you trust me?”, she asked again.

“You clearly know it’s not like that”, he answered without looking at her.

Shin Hye closed her eyes, trying to understand his fear.

“I’m not going anywhere, Oppa”, she whispered,looking at nothing in particular.

She saw him smiled, and then in an instant, he grabbed her hand, and kissed it without looking at her. “Mian….”

Shin Hye smiled as well, and held his hand still.

—–

As they reached the cafe, Hong Ki and Yong Hwa already seated at their reserved corner; Yong Hwa shaking his head as he saw her shy smile, Hong Ki smiling as he saw their hands, clasped together.

“I thought i will be seeing bruises and blood stains once you went down of his car”,Hong Ki said, teasing them.

“tch! Do you really think i will even lay a finger on this girl?”, Geun Suk said, half hugging that girl.

“Tch! It’s not her, Hyung. You wish!”

“Ha ha ha” Shin Hye laughed on Geun Suk’s chest, when as she was about to hug him back, Hong Ki looked at their back and said, “Yoon-a, what are you doing here?”
Shin Hye’s eyes widened, and with dagger look, pushed that guy and squinted her eyes.

“Yoon… Yoon-a.. Yoon Si Yoon…”, Geun Suk clarified, pulling her closer.
Shin Hye blushed, pouted at her childishness, and as she was about to hug him tighter, she realized what she has just heard, she automatically looked at their proximity, her eyes widened,and pushed that guy away from her.

Hong Ki and Yong Hwa laughed in unison as they saw the nervousness in that kid’s eyes.

“Cute.. Jinja cute”, Yong Hwa said, shaking his head.

“Yah! Go Mi Nam, until how long do you think you can hide this one?”

“Aissh! Jinja!”, she said, hitting Hong Ki in his arm.

They were already seated on that corner, Geun Suk and Shin Hye on one side, Hong Ki and Yong Hwa on the other, Geun Suk’s hand on hers, his head leaned on her shoulder.

“Yah! Hyung, don’t you get tired of seeing each other?”

“Lee Hong Ki, i don’t even have time to spend with this girl. Do you really think i would get tired of seeing her?”

“Aisssh! I mean, Hyung, people like us, are not expected to see each other whenever we want. I sometimes wonder how you still manage to spend this time. We’re simply not like that.. That’s a given..”

They were talking at each other, bickering at one thing or another, when the door of the cafe open, Shin Hye’s eyes automatically reached the door,and when he identified that guy, she pulled her shoulder away from that guy, his head hitting the table.

“Mian”,she whispered.

“He’s here”, Yong Hwa said, smiling at those two.

As Si Yoon approached their table, Shin Hye held Hong Ki’s hand and pulled him to seat beside her, making Si Yoon seated beside Yong Hwa.

When Si Yoon reached their table, Shin Hye automatically stoo up, smiled and started introducing the guys.

She was about to start with Yong Hwa, when Yong offered his hand and said, “Yong Hwa. Jung Yong Hwa. I believe we work in one advertisement before”, he said, smiling at Shin Hye.

“Oh…”, Shin Hye said, remembering that CF. “A… Si Yoon Oppa, this is Hong Ki”

Hong Ki stood up as well, offered his hand, and said, “I believe we were introduced as best friends in one tv show before”, he said, shaking his head, remembering that incident.

“Jinja?” Shin Hye said, a bit embarrassed.

Hong Ki looked at that girl, who seemed a bit lost, didn’t have an idea what to say next. “Si Yoon Hyung, so, you’ve already met our Go Mi Nam?”, he asked, looking at that guy who’s head was settled on the table.

Si Yoon looked at Shin Hye, then answered, “Hong Ki, I will borrow your Go Mi Nam for a while. I think she will be my Go Dok Mi in the months to come”.

“Oh”, Hong Ki said, nodding his head, looking at his Hyung, and then after a second or two, he looked at his other chingu, who’s seated beside Si Yoon. “I guessed I’ve heard that last year. Lee Gyu Won, right, Lee Shin?”

“Yah!”, Yong Hwa and Shin Hye, exclaimed, stopping Hong Ki.

“Weh.. weh… I’m just telling some stories here. Yah, Hyung, better be careful. This kid here is quite a heart breaker.”

“I’m willing to take the risk, Hong Ki”, he said in a whisper, winking at Shin Hye.

Shin Hye blushed, when she saw that wink. Yong Hwa looked at her, his eyes widened, trying to calm that girl. Hong Ki’s eyes squinted, then continued, “Waaah! My prettiest chingu has a willing victim. Ha! I didn’t know your market value is getting higher again. Ah, Si Yoon Hyung, have I told you that I know of a friend who is a bone-breaker?”

“Funny.. funny, jinja!”, Shin Hye said sarcastically.

“Ah, cham, Go Mi Nam, have you introduced our leader?”

And as if on cue, as he heard his name, he sat up straightly, nodding his head , but did not say a word.

“Si Yoon Oppa, you already met Geun Suk Oppa, right?”

Both guys bowed their heads, acknowledging each other.

As the group was talking about some random things, Geun Suk sat back, and forgetting that there’s someone new in the group, he stretched his arm, his hand obviously going to her shoulder.

And knowing that act, Shin Hye looked at Geun Suk, stopping him from what he’s planning to do.

Geun Suk met her gaze, and realizing that stare, Geun Suk looked at the visitor, then at Shin Hye, shaking his head.

Shin Hye bit her lips, feeling sorry of her act.

Yong Hwa, feeling the awkwardness, excused himself, saying that he would be placing the orders for all.

Hong Ki, knowing that look, looked at his two chingus, shook his head, excused himself as well, saying that he needs to take a call.

As the three were left at the table, Si Yoon smiled, looking at the two. He’s feeling something, but he’s not sure what.

Trying to confirm what it is, he looked at Shin Hye, then asked, “Are you seeing someone, Shin Hye-ya?”

“Oppa?”, Shin Hye asked, her eyes widened.

“Tch!”, Geun Suk smirked, smiling.

“Are you?”, Si Yoon asked further.

Shin Hye looked at Geun Suk, not knowing what to answer. She’s been asked before, but never did it happen that she was asked with Geun Suk seated beside her.

Geun Suk looked at her, and knowing that up til this point, Shin Hye is still not ready to say something about them, he heaved a sigh, smiled, grabbed his jacket, and excused himself.

“I am.. I was…”, Shin Hye answered, stuttering.

Geun Suk looked back at her, he smiled upon hearing her first statement, then his face darkened as he heard her second.

“I’ve been seeing him… for the past years.. in the days to come, and in the days after that. I’m just not sure until when…”

Geun Suk’s heart stopped beating, hearing her words…She’s still not sure…

“Might be until tomorrow.. next month.. next year… but definitely not as long as I want to”

2 Comments »

5* Almost

Geun Suk held her face, memorizing every inch of it, and then that stubborn girl suddenly pulled away and immediately went out of his car. She went down without looking back. She walked the opposite way, without looking at him.

Geun Suk started the engine, drove at the opposite direction, looking at the girl from his rear view mirror.

As Shin Hye heard the revving of his engine, and as the sound of Louis became farther and weaker, she slowed down her pace, closed her eyes and bit her lips.

It’s not his fault. It’s not about her, that girl.. that goddess.
It’s all about her.. her own self… and that twisted mind of hers.

She understands. That, she’s certain.
He loves her. That, no need to argue.
She loves him. No question needs to be asked.

Shin Hye’s tears started to roll down her cheeks. She looked around, trying to find where she is.
She’s lost. No idea where she is or where she’s going.

She dragged her feet to nowhere in particular. She’s not too sure what it is that she wanted, or what it is that she’s looking for.
She’s just getting tired. She’s hurt… confused.

Shin Hye remembered the cluelessness in Geun Suk’s eyes the moment she asked who his girlfriend is. Who wouldn’t be? The guy has been pleading her to come out in the open and announce to the world that it is what their camp is thinking about… and inform those on the other side to stop daydreaming of the other pairings.

Shin Hye smiled, as she wiped her tears. She would at times kid around, asking him whether the announcement is for her or for him. She still remembered how Geun Suk would have that mischievous grin, controlling his laughter. “I just don’t want them to bash you. And i simply want them to stop pairing me with other girls. Can’t they figure it out? Three years.. three years since Minami and here I am, still teasing my Go Mi Nam? Come on! I have a life. I don’t just kid around”

Shin Hye stopped, smiled, half-laughing half crying as she remembered how she sulked, walked out, smirked, telling that guy,”So, it’s not about declaring what we have, Oppa? It’s about saving me from the bashing because they won’t accept that the Prince of Eels will settle with that Go Mi Nam. Tch! And it’s still about you. Waaah! What will people think of Jang Geun Suk, if after all those teasings, that kid.. that Go Mi Nam, still hasn’t budged. Oh?”, Shin Hye acted a bit disoriented, and with a pout on her lips, she added. “Oppa, you’re dating someone else, but you’re teasing Go Mi Nam and that stupid girl is still flirting with you. Pathetic! Jinja. Should I just channel my flirting with someone else? That would both save our faces,Oppa. Geun Suk would no longer be teasing that kid who would not budge and that girl would no longer be flirting with her Oppa who only sees her as her dongsaeng. Ah, cham. I forgot, she’s no longer your dongsaeng now. She’s now your bestfriend. Should i be happy? Was i promoted or demoted, Oppa?”. She was smiling, smirking of her come back, when as she looked back at him, she swallowed, her eyes widened, as she saw his face darkened…his cheeks twisting.

Her tears started to roll again as she remembered him looking at her, he laughing in disbelief, as he continued, “Mian.. I’m quite selfish.. narrow-minded. I’m only thinking of myself. I haven’t really considered you in anything. Honestly.. never”, he said, shaking his head.

Though she knew that she was just kidding at that time, somehow, her chest tightened, hearing those words that he never did actually consider her in anything. She was dumbfounded, not sure what to answer back, when the guy looked at her and continued, “I never really considered you. It’s all about me and my ever conceited self. “

She looked at him blankly, her eyes welling in tears, she’s biting her lips, his words cutting deep in her heart. She was about to walk away, when the guy chuckled and continued, “I really like it when your gullible self would fall on my trap. But it pains me a lot, whenever I say things about us, and I can read confusion in your eyes. At first you would just laugh, playing along… then you would pause, thinking about my words. I know when the battle within you has started, fighting whether to believe or not, and then later on, you will choose to believe… not in me.. but on my words. Whenever i would plot something like this, I would think twice.. partly because of the pain that i would cause you, but mainly because of the terror.. that fear that you still don’t believe in me. It’s always about me, and your level of knowing, surrendering and faith on me”

Shin Hye looked around, trying to find that soul. Her mind was processing a thousand things. She stopped, have a feel of her heart, but was confused when her heart was at ease.

With her hand on her chest, her eyes closed, after a second or two, those things that are in her mind suddenly disappear as her heart spoke with her head. He can find you. He will find you no matter what.

And as if taunting her, she remembered his words that day when they were biking along Han, “If fate won’t believe in US, I’d rather believe in us”.

And with that said, Shin Hye run to nowhere in particular, her lips with a smile, she whispered in the air. Mianhae, Oppa. But, I cannot let you go. I cannot let us go.

As one guy approached the intersection, his lips suddenly curved into a smile as he heard the whisper of the wind.

Not knowing where she was, that girl took her phone, and dialed her Number 1. “Do you think you can find me, Oppa?”

The guy on the other line was just smiling as he listened to her voice.
“Hana. Dul.”

She still hasn’t counted upto three…

An hour or two has passed, as that girl was walking near the pedestrian lane, the light turned red, then, suddenly a car stopped in front of her.

The guy unlocked that door, without lifting his gaze.

The girl went inside without looking at him.

“Did you wait too long?”, he asked as she buckled her seatbelt.

“Did you look too far?”, she answered as he maneuvered the car.

He smiled without looking at her.
He held her hand as he maneuvered that car.

The girl looked at their hands, shook her head then smiled.
“They won’t let us go”

“I know… and i won’t, even if they do”

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5* Almost…. Hidden

December 1, 2012

As Si Yoon ushered her to her room, Shin Hye a bit tipsy after that after-party, she looked at him, bowed her head, then said, “Mianhae, Oppa. It’s quite embarrassing to be at this state. You just saw me a few days back, and here i am, a bit out of control”

Si Yoon rumpled her hair, smiled then said, “Just go in. You need to get some rest”

Shin Hye bit her lips, lifted her bowed head then said, “Arasseo.. Jinja, Oppa. Mianhae…”

Si Yoon just smiled, and opened her room door for her. As she was about to go inside, she heard him calling unto her.

“Shin Hye-ya…”

“Hm?”, she said, looking back at him.

“I like you”, he said, smiling at her.

“Hm?”, she asked with widened eyes.

“I like you. I don’t think i will be able to say that later on. I just want you to know. I like you”

—-

November 21, 2012

During their first script reading, Shin Hye’s phone would keep on vibrating, receiving messages from that guy. She was already a bit irritated, not being able to concentrate on what she’s doing.

On his nth call, Shin Hye excused herself and went out of the conference hall.

“Yeo…”

“One more call… one more ring from this phone, and i’m telling you, Oppa, you will have Jun Oppa answering your call”

“Yah, Park Shin Hye!”

“Try me, Oppa”, she said, his stubbornness really getting to her nerves.

“Yah!”

“Hm?”, she asked, giving him a chance to say what it is that made him dialled those calls.

“I’ll pick you up later”

“Yah!”, she said, a bit rattled.

“Go in now. They might be looking for you”

“Oppa… andwae!”

“Wae? Shin Hye-ya, i will be leaving four days from now. Can i at least fetch you and spend some time together before we faced another round of commitments?”

“Oppa..”

“I won’t be making a scene. Promise”

“Aisssh!!! Why am i feeling nervous, Oppa?”

“Aigoo! This little girl. Don’t you trust your Oppa?”

“With this randomness, i doubt i can”

“Aisssh! Go in now. Love you, Princess”

“Love you, too, Oppa.”

—-

Two hours have passed, and as the director wrapped up their first script reading, Shin Hye dialled his number and whispered, “Oppa, we’re done. Meet me at Hyunduk Oppa’s place”, she was still about to say something, when her heart almost jumped from her chest when she heard a voice calling her..

“Shin Hye-ya, are you in a hurry”

“tch! is that the flower boy?”, Geun Suk asked from the other line.

“Aisssh, Oppa! Changkaman…”, she whispered.

“Hm? Wae-yo, Si Yoon Oppa”

“I’m just wondering whether we could grab a cup of coffee and discuss some things in the script?”

“The guy is making a move. Should i make known of my presence”, the guy smirked at the other line.

“Aisssh! Mianhae, Oppa…”

“Mianhae?”

Beep.. beep.. beep..

Did she just hang up on me?

Shin Hye bit her lips, knowing exactly that she would be punished later on. She was looking at her phone, apologizing to what she has just done.

“Oppa, hm… i have already made some arrangement for today. Mianhae”

“Aigoo! Enrique has already been rejected on his first attempt”

“Yah, Oppa!”, she said, with a pout.

Si Yoon, just looked at her smiling. “Arasseo. Arasseo. Are you going downstairs? Jun Hyung might be waiting for you”

“Hm…”, Shin Hye didn’t know how to answer.

“Wae? I won’t be sending you home, Go Dok Mi. I will just be walking with you to the lobby?”

“Arasseo, Oppa. Mianhae”, Shin Hye said, smiling at him.

Ten minutes later, they were already at the lobby, waiting for her car. They were smiling, laughing at nothing in particular, when the door of the lobby opened, and there she saw the guy in sunnies and cap, his face hidden, but she’s definitely sure who the guy is.

“Jinja”, Shin Hye whispered, her eyes squinted.

The guy walked near them, with a grin on his face.

“Aisssh!”, she said, her forehead wrinkled, as if telling that guy to back off.

Geun Suk, loving the redness of her cheeks, and the confusion in her eyes, hasten his pace and stopped near the two.

“Go Mi Nam”, he said as he stood there in front of her.

Shin Hye shook her head, averted her eyes.

“GO MI NAM?”

“Jang Geun Suk, Sunbae?”, Si Yoon stood up as he recognized that face.

Geun Suk bowed at him, smiled then looked at that girl who’s trying really hard to disappear in thin air.

“Shin Hye-ya, didn’t you recognize Geun Suk sunbae?”

“O.. a.. Geun Suk Oppa”, she said, standing, bowing her head.

“tch! I parked the car outside. I’ve been waiting for an hour now but you are not answering my call”

Shin Hye’s eyes widened as she heard his words. And before, she could say her piece, Si Yoon’s face were moving from her and Geun Suk’s direction, probably trying to rationalize everything that he is hearing.

“You… and you….”

And before that girl could say a word, Geun Suk winked at her then looked at Si Yoon, “Ani.. ani… it’s not what you’re thinking. We’ll only eat outside”

Aisssh! Who would believe you, Oppa. You don’t have any business here, and here you are, driving to this side of Seoul, picking me up to grab something to eat? Jinja.. believable!

Probably knowing what is running in that girl’s head, Geun Suk smirked then added, “Hong Ki and Yong are already waiting for us. Cafe Analog?”

Shin Hye was able to breathe out the moment she heard the name of their two other friends.

Jinja! Did he plan all of these, and had those two as an accomplice?

Shin Hye shook her head, smiled at Geun Suk, then looked at Si Yoon, “Si Yoon Oppa, i think we need to leave. Geun Suk Oppa,i guess, would have some stories to tell me later on”, she smiled and bowed her head.

As she turned around, she almost had a heart attack when she heard what Geun Suk said next, “Do you have somewhere to go after this one? If you’re not busy, maybe we can grab some coffee and have a small chat?”

Shin Hye immediately looked back, throwing that guy some dagger look. Geun Suk knew she was looking at him, but he preferred not to meet her gaze. Shin Hye stood there, hoping that Si Yoon would not agree.

Tch! The stars might not be on her side for this day. For, as she was about to start a prayer, she heard that guy smiled and said, “I will just get my car. I will follow you there”, then he looked at Shin Hye, nodding his head.

Geun Suk followed his gaze and smiled upon seeing that smile.

Shin Hye just bowed her head and immediately went outside of the building.

Geun Suk followed closely behind her, his hands in his pocket, waiting for that girl to explode.

As she sat down, buckling her seatbelt, Geun Suk prepared his self for that impending explosion.

After five, ten minutes, still with no words coming from the passenger’s seat, Geun Suk looked at that girl, then asked, “Are you not going to say something?”

“Do i have to say something, Oppa? tch! I think you already know what it will be all about, so why don’t you just save me of the interrogation and give me the answers that i want to hear”, she said, her words laced with sarcasm.

“I just want to eat with you”, he said, smiling.

Shin Hye threw him a dagger look. “and with him”, he swallowed, continuing his sentence.

The girl squinted her eyes, asking him to continue. “Yah!” he said, a bit irritated for the silent treatment and this monologue.

Shin Hye just raised her eyebrows, challenging him.

Knowing that he’s at fault, Geun Suk continued, without looking at her. “I just want to know him more”

“Wae?”, she asked, irritated of this set up.

“Do i still need to spell that out?”

“Oppa, here we go again.”

“Shin Hye-ya…”

“Don’t you trust me, Oppa?”

Geun Suk didn’t say a word. He remained silent, his eyes focused on the road.

“Don’t you trust me?”, she asked again.

“You clearly know it’s not like that”, he answered without looking at her.

Shin Hye closed her eyes, trying to understand his fear.

“I’m not going anywhere, Oppa”, she whispered,looking at nothing in particular.

She saw him smiled, and then in an instant, he grabbed her hand, and kissed it without looking at her. “Mian….”

Shin Hye smiled as well, and held his hand still.

—–

As they reached the cafe, Hong Ki and Yong Hwa already seated at their reserved corner; Yong Hwa shaking his head as he saw her shy smile, Hong Ki smiling as he saw their hands, clasped together.

“I thought i will be seeing bruises and blood stains once you went down of his car”,Hong Ki said, teasing them.

“tch! Do you really think i will even lay a finger on this girl?”, Geun Suk said, half hugging that girl.

“Tch! It’s not her, Hyung. You wish!”

“Ha ha ha” Shin Hye laughed on Geun Suk’s chest, when as she was about to hug him back, Hong Ki looked at their back and said, “Yoon-a, what are you doing here?”

Shin Hye’s eyes widened, and with dagger look, pushed that guy and squinted her eyes.

“Yoon… Yoon-a.. Yoon Si Yoon…”, Geun Suk clarified, pulling her closer.

Shin Hye blushed, pouted at her childishness, and as she was about to hug him tighter, she realized what she has just heard, she automatically looked at their proximity, her eyes widened,and pushed that guy away from her.

Hong Ki and Yong Hwa laughed in unison as they saw the nervousness in that kid’s eyes.

“Cute.. Jinja cute”, Yong Hwa said, laughing.

“Yah! Go Mi Nam, until how long do you think you can hide this one?”

“Aissh! Jinja!”, she said, hitting Hong Ki in his arm.

They were already seated on that corner, Geun Suk and Shin Hye on one side, Hong Ki and Yong Hwa on the other, Geun Suk’s hand on hers, his head leaned on her shoulder.

“Yah! Hyung, don’t you get tired of seeing each other?”

“Lee Hong Ki, i don’t even have time to spend with this girl. Do you really think i would get tired of seeing her?”

“Aisssh! I mean, Hyung, people like us, are not expected to see each other whenever we want. I sometimes wonder how you still manage to spend this time. We’re simply not like that.. That’s a given..”

They were talking at each other, bickering at one thing or another, when the door of the cafe open, Shin Hye’s eyes automatically reached the door,and when he identified that guy, she pulled her shoulder away from that guy, his head hitting the table.

“Mian”,she whispered.

“He’s here”, Yong Hwa said, smiling at those two.

As Si Yoon approached their table, Shin Hye held Hong Ki’s hand and pulled him to seat beside her, making Si Yoon seated beside Yong Hwa.

When Si Yoon reached their table, Shin Hye automatically stand up, smiled and started introducing the guys.

She was about to start with Yong Hwa, when Yong offered his hand and said, “Yong Hwa. Jung Yong Hwa. I believe we work in one advertisement before”, he said, smiling at Shin Hye.

“Oh…”, Shin Hye said, remembering that CF. “A… Si Yoon Oppa, this is Hong Ki”

Hong Ki stood up as well, offered his hand, and said, “I believe we were introduced as best friends in one tv show before”, he said, shaking his head, remembering that incident.

“Jinja?” Shin Hye said, a bit embarrassed.

“Eh, are you not going to introduce our leader?”, Hong Ki asked, pointing at Geun Suk, who’s head is now resting on the table,sulking.

“Ah.. cham.. Si Yoon, you already met Geun Suk Oppa, right?”

Geun Suk stood up, smiled at Si Yoon and offered his hand. “Geun Suk. Jang Geun Suk”

Shin Hye looked at Geun Suk, trying to read him. She felt guilty of her act, she bit her lips, bowing her head. Geun Suk held her hand under the table, squeezing it, assuring her that everything is ok.

Shin Hye smiled, giving their hands a squeeze as well.

And then as if it is a rule, as they both understand that they do understand each other, Geun Suk withdrew his hand and placed it on the table.

All along the talk, the guys were talking about almost anything, forgetting that they’ve just officially met as a group just a few minutes ago.

Shin Hye’s eyes were following each one of them as they give their view on something, feeling at ease that nothing is outside ordinary.

—–

November 30, 2o12
HongKong, MAMA

Shin Hye was smiling all along the red carpet walk upto their stage appearance, presenting an award to EXO.

Before the after party, as Si Yoon fetched her from her room, before they went down the hotel, when he noticed that she didn’t bring anything with her, Si Yoon held her arm, stopping her, then asked, “You’re not bringing anything?”

Shin Hye looked at her,looked at herself, then said, “Myself?”

“Funny. Powder?”

“Aniyo..”

“Cellphone?”

“Hm..”, she paused for a while, pouted her lips then said, “might not be needed”

“Eh? Are you not expecting any call?”

“Eh?”

“I mean, what if someone calls you”

“Then, they’ll know that i am not available to answer the call”

“Shin Hye-ssi..”

“Oppa, we won’t be staying there for long, right?”

“Even so… Give me your phone, I’ll be holding it”

“Arasseo.. arasseo…”

At the after party, Shin Hye was offered some drinks. She has downed some cocktail glasses, a bit tipsy at the middle of the happenings, when as Big Bang made their way on the stage, Shin Hye could only remember her dancing with Hye Sul and Cha Ye Ryun.

Great! Speaking of hiding from Oppa!

As she heard the beat of the song, Shin Hye’s body flow with the rhythm, dancing with whatever beat is thrown at her. At times she was puzzled, Hye Sul dancing at the other end, while Ye Ryun was pulling her on the other. Si Yoon was moving with the rhythm, not really dancing, but was standing near her.

When she saw the crowd beginning to become a bit wild, while standing with Ye Ryun, she whispered to Si Yoon that she needed to go back to the bar and return her glass. Gentleman that he is, Si Yoon took the glass, but did not leave her on the dancefloor, and ushered her oustide of the crowd. Shin Hye followed without asking anything, but something really was a bit odd.

When they returned to the floor, Ye Ryun held her still, while Si Yoon was standing at her side.

As Dae Sung, probably already drunk, went near their space, she didn’t know why, might be the effect of alcohol… or the feeling of freedom… she shook her body and glide to the beat.

Then, she saw one guy who keep on coming back to their space, pulling Dae Sung away. She was smiling, her mind still working, shaking her head, speculating that the other guys knew Dae Sung was drunk and that they don’t want him to do something stupid; when as she turned her head, she saw those eyes fixed on her, as if saying, Gather your act together, Shin Hye-ya, if you don’t want that guy who just arrived in Seoul from Haneda, to book a flight to Hongkong.

Shin Hye was looking at him, and then when it dawned to her, she recognized the face, “Mithra. Jin Mithra. Mithra Oppa… Chocoballs. I’m dead!”

She was about to stop dancing, when as she looked to her right, she saw Dae Sung looking at her, and in an instant,though she was at the sideline, she didn’t know how it happened, but as Dae Sung moved a step aside, she was instantly at the center, dancing her heart out, forgetting the message that she read from Mithra’s eyes.

Twenty… thirty seconds before the song ends, as she was dancing, almost getting close to Dae Sung, she felt someone passing in between them, then PSY suddenly appeared on the stage.

She looked at that guy who just passed by, and was not surprised when she saw Mithra looking back at her.

When PSY was called and the famous GANGNAM Style was played, Shin Hye found herself surrounded by girls again, Ye Ryun and Hye Sul on her sides.

Two minutes after, as Dae Sung came closer to their space again, Si Yoon stood closer to her.
Ten seconds after, Si Yoon checked his phone and sent a message.
Twenty seconds, another message came in, and as the guys were shouting that cuss word, and as Dae Sung was passing by in front of her, Si Yoon, stood closer to her and whispered something.

“A message was sent to Seoul”

“Hm?”

“Someone is going to be dead later”

Confused of his words, Shin Hye looked at him and hit him on the shoulder.

—–

“I like you”, he said, smiling at her.

“Hm?”, she asked with widened eyes.

Then remembering that day they had coffee together…
How he spoke and intently listening at them, while knowing exactly when she will need to take her sugar or, hand her a tissue…
How he gave his opinion, too mature of his age, and laughed crazily at her childish antics.
How that guy would know when to stand before she even excuse herself to go to the ladies…
Though he didn’t escort her to where she’s going nor held her hand,Si Yoon noticed how silent he became and how his eyes flew to that corner where she went, and how his ideas came back the moment he saw her walking towards them..

She might be too careful, but Si Yoon saw how Shin Hye flinched the moment that guy would excuse himself to have a hit on his cigarette..
How sulky she was that instant he came back, and how apologetic his eyes were..
Shin Hye knew exactly what to place on his plate the moment those slices of sweets were placed on their table.

They might not notice it…
It might look too normal to them..
They might try to act too distant from each other…
but the warmth in their eyes, the spark of their smiles…
the feel of watching an unwritten script unfolding before you….
that familiarity….gave them all the way..

“I like you. I don’t think i will be able to say that later on. I just want you to know. I like you”

He looked at that girl, probably confused.. probably a bit drunk..

And then remembering those calls…
Ani… it’s not only Geun Suk who keeps on calling him..

At one point, her phone would vibrate… then after a series of missed calls from Hong Star, the same number would dial his, asking if that girl is ok.

A few seconds after, another series of missed calls… Bolmae Jung, and then a minute after, his phone would ring, pleading him to bring that girl back to her room.

And then, he might have just imagined it, but after Mithra talked to someone over the phone, that girl’s phone won’t stop ringing..

My Number 1..
Ani.. he didn’t know who he is, until that same number, appeared on his phone..

“Si Yoon-ssi?”

“Geun Suk- Sunbae”

“Can you drag that girl outside of the venue, before i could call everyone in there to stop the party, just so that girl would simply retreat back to her room?”

Si Yoon, smiled, remembering that call.

And before Shin Hye could go inside, he called her name again, handed her phone, then said, “Your number 1 has been waiting for your call. I guess you’re dead”, then he bowed his head, smiled, and walked away.

Five feet away from her, he stopped then he said, without looking back, “So, the anecdotes regarding Chocoball is true.. Should i wait for an invitation, then?”, he said, turning around, winking at her.

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Chapter 33: The Night That Promise was Made

Shin Hye smiled,as she heard his words. She looked at him, nodded, then said softly.”I need to take my leave now,Oppa. See you around”, then she bowed her head and smiled at those people whose eyes were watching their every move.

Before she could take a step further, Geun Suk held her hand, not wanting to let her go.

Shin Hye looked back at him, smiled then said, “I need to go, Oppa. The staffs are waiting for me. And THEY are waiting for you”. She held his hand, removing it from hers. Then, she walked away from that room, without looking back.

44th Baeksang Awards

Shin Hye was nominated for Best New Coming Actress, TV Category, for her role as Saya in Kimcheed Radish Cubes. At the same time, Geun Suk was nominated for his Happy Life role, under the same category, Best New Coming Actor for film.

Shin Hye was not expecting. Being nominated and being able to walk on the red carpet were already too much for her.

As her car drove in front of the venue, her heart was doing a drumroll, nervous-scared of what to expect on this event. Her gown was not helping in any way. Her management decided to have this gown, a declaration that she was no longer a kid, and was now ready to conquer the next step of her career. Shin Hye closed her eyes, remembering how hard she cried the moment they have decided that this would be the platform of her transition. She remembered how helpless she felt, how frustrated she was. No one has asked for her opinion or whether she would agree to it. It’s as if their words were laws and she has no other choice but to follow.

Don’t make it too diffiult, Shin Hye. This is part of the job. Don’t take it personally.

That girl heaved a sigh, and as she saw the crowd waiting for her to come down, she smiled, knowing exactly that this was what she has dreamed of. The flashes of light, the glamour, the screams of fans, and the acknowledgement that she is here.

Shin Hye smiled as she went down, waved to almost everyone, her lips curved to a smile, which is betrayed by that fear and nervousness in her eyes.

She bowed her head at everyone, happy that they did notice their presence, and as she walked her way to the center, as she was trying to tame the beating of her heart, she felt a familiar warmth, a pair of eyes watching her every step. Shin Hye looked around, wanting to confirm that thing that she was feeling. She knew she might see him here, but there shouldn’t be a problem, right? She closed her eyes, trying to have a feel of where those stares were coming from, and when she opened her eyes and looked at her left, there she saw the guy whose eyes were glued at her, his eyes with fire, his hand balled into a fist. She didn’t know why but she felt scared the moment she saw those eyes.

Geun Suk was not removing his eyes from her. He heard as that girl named Saya went down of her car, and as she walked down the red carpet, he heard the whispers of the wall, saying how, daring, how sexy that kid was.

Geun Suk immediately ran out of where he was seated, and as he saw that girl, he didn’t know why, but his blood started to boil. He saw those smile, but he definitely read how uncomfortable that girl was, how scared she was, and how helpless she felt.

That guy saw when the girl averted her eyes, trying to hide from him.

As she finished her walk, Shin Hye immediately went inside, afraid to see that guy again.

There should not be a problem. There was no reason to hide. They don’t have anything to do with each other, right? She didn’t know why but she felt that there was a need for a long discussion later, an argument perhaps. Those eyes, those stares only spell one thing for her. He didn’t like what he saw, and she definitely has a lot of explaining to do.

As she busied herself, sprinting to her assigned seat… as she was trying to rationalize things, defending herself on no one in particular, she felt a hand holding tightly on her arm, and in an instant,she was dragged at the backstage, curtains hiding them from any intruder.

Shin Hye would want to scream, but the moment she felt those hands, she already had an idea what this thing would be all about. She tried to free her hand from his, but his grip on her was quite strong. The moment he found that secluded, hidden area, he threw her in that space, she almost flew from the force. She saw that guy walking back and forth, his hands balled into a fist, he’s biting his lips, as if trying very hard not to get out of control.

The moment she saw him pace back, she tried to run away, not wanting to hear any from him. But as she was about to take a step away, he felt his hand on her, and though she tried to fight, he threw her once again, this time, her back laid flat on the wall. Geun Suk was holding her hands, pinning her against the wall.

Her chest was heaving up and down, her eyes meeting his, showing him that there was nothing he can do to scare her.

And as she met those angry eyes, Shin Hye would want to slap him on the face, when the guy gave her an evil grin. Geun Suk smirked, his eyes wandering from her face, down to her neck, and to that neckline of her not-so revealing dress. Her tears almost rolled down her cheeks, as she felt violated of those eyes. She tried to cover herself with her hand but Geun Suk held them tightly on her side.

Her eyes already welling, but that guy would not let go of her. She was biting her lips, trying to hide her sobs, and gathering all the strength that she could find, she lifted her head and met those gaze.

She saw him shook his head, and with that smirk on his face, he whispered to her ears, their distance too near, “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. And I don’t think i have any explaining to do.”, she said, pretending too hard to appear brave in front of him.

“Tch! I didn’t know you’re getting good at lying”

“I was. I am. You just didn’t notice”, she said as she tried to push him away, pulling her hands from him.

“Park Shin Hye!”, he said, tightening his grip on her.

Shin Hye closed her eyes as she heard his voice, fear was now creeping down her spine. “Oppa, let me go. My manager is already looking for me”

“Who gave you this dress?”

“Oppa, please…. Don’t make a scene here”

Geun Suk looked at her, his anger trapped in his eyes.

“Don’t cry. You won’t look good on camera later”, he said, his voice too controlled. He was angry, but he saw confusion, fear in hers.

Shin Hye swallowed, closed her eyes, trying her best to control those tears from rolling down her cheeks.

Geun Suk closed his eyes as well, trying his best to calm his nerves. He held her hands tightly, and after he did a sanity check, without looking at her, he said in a voice too soft, “Tell your manager,I’ll send you home later.”

She was about to say a word more, when, as he looked back at her, the fire in his eyes started to flare. Her tongue being eaten by a cat, she was not able to utter a single word. He’s not asking for permission. He’s not asking for her opinion. His words were not making a request. He’s giving her an instruction and she hated herself so much for not being able to reason out, to fight back, or to even say no.

She was just standing there, her head hanging low.

After a minute or two, Geun Suk’s grip on her hand loosened, but he did not let go of her. He was about to usher her outside, when Shin Hye stopped from their track, her eyes fixed on their hand.

“Park Shin Hye”, he said in gritted teeth.

“I will wait for you later. Do not make a scene and usher me inside. Leave this room five minutes after I take my leave. You don’t want them to associate us any further, and make some speculations,right?”

Geun Suk was about to say something. It was then his turn to be dumbfounded. He was about to say something when that girl smiled, shook her head then proceeded outside.

And just like what she said, like a spell casted on him, he went out exactly five minutes after she left.

As he made his way inside the hall, he met Keunsama, whose eyes were squinted, probably having an idea where he came from.

As the elder walked towards him, he looked at him straight in the eyes, and before Keunsama could say something, he whispered in a tone dead serious, “Ask them to bring-in the other car. Have it wait two blocks from here. Talk to Shin Hye’s manager. Tell him I will be sending that kid home”

Keunsama would want to protest, knowing the danger of his plan. “Jang Geun Suk”, he tried to appear tough, trying to make him follow him this time.

But that guy just looked at him and in gritted teeth said, “Do what I said, or I will leave this venue, dragging that girl with me. You choose”

Keunsama shook his head, laughing in disbelief.

“You know clearly that I will do that. Now, you make a choice”, Geun Suk said without batting his eyes.

Keunsama closed his eyes. This kid might only be 22, but he has that aura making the people around him shake in terror the moment he used those words.. the moment he channeled that guy behind the playful pretense and shallow smile. They’ve been having a hard time taming this kid, especially after the known incident months back, when they forced him to do something he didn’t want to.

Geun Suk stood there, waiting for an answer. “I’ll look for Jun”, he said, leaving him behind.

Geun Suk nodded his head, appreciating how Keunsama was trying to understand him.

During the entire ceremony, Geun Suk would twist and turn on his seat, his eyes wandering around, making sure that the girl is safe, and that she’s enjoying this night, amidst those emotions that he saw in her eyes earlier on. His eyes scanning her surrounding, not wanting to hear any word against that girl.

Everytime Shin Hye would stand from her seat, Geun Suk would ask Keunsama or one of his managers to follow her, afraid that she would meet some danger on her way. On one of those times, as he saw her standing up, without Keunsama or any of his staff nearby, Geun Suk stood up himself and followed Shin Hye near the ladies room.

As he followed her, his eyes like a hawk, looking at all the guys who walked almost near that girl. Five, ten minutes after, Shin Hye went out, with a pout on her lips, she was floating in mid-air, her mind on something else. As she made her way back to the hall, Geun Suk saw at his peripheral a guy walking near her.

He was about to fasten his pace, that guy closer to her than he was, when before he could run, he saw a girl came near her and when he looked at her, he saw the girl winked at him, holding Shin Hye by the hand.

Geun Suk smiled upon recognizing that face.

“Unnie, wae-yo?”, Shin Hye asked at Hye Sul, the moment she saw her face.

“Yah, Park Shin Hye, am I not allowed to talk to my dongsaeng?”, Hye Sul said, playing with her.

“Mianhae, Unnie. I didn’t mean it like that. I was just surprised when I saw you coming near me”, Shin Hye said, apologizing to Hye Sul.

Hye Sul laughed, shaking her head, “the same old gullible, Shin Hye.”

“Yah, Unnie!”, Shin Hye said with a pout.

“You’re really cute. Jinja! No wonder that guy has been watching you ever since you set foot at the red carpet”

“Eh, nu gu, Unnie?”, Shin Hye asked, not sure what Hye Sul was talking about.

Hye Sul smiled, then winked at that guy who’s now two steps away from them. “He didn’t change a bit. He’s always watching you. I bet if he could only do, he will hide you inside his pocket”

Shin Hye followed her gaze and when he saw that guy coming near them, she smiled and then said, “Geun Suk Oppa? Aniyo… he just loves making fun of me”

Geun Suk heard her words and upon hearing those words again, his face darken; he was about to drag that girl again when he was stunned once again when he heard her next words. “Unnie, you and Geun SUk Oppa look good together”

“Park Shin Hye/Shin Hye-ah”, both Geun Suk and Hye Sul said at almost the same time.

Shin Hye startled, smiled but pushed still the words that she just said, “Jinja, Unnie, you look good together. Maybe, two, three years from now, you can think about what I have just said”

Geun Suk glared at her, and in a whisper apologized to Hye Sul, then escorted that girl to her seat.

Shin Hye bowed her head to Hye Sul and before she forgot, she ran back to her and hugged her, “Chukahae, Unnie. You deserved it. “, and when she’s sure that Geun Suk could not here her, she whispered to her ears, “Mianhae, Unnie. I guessed what I said is rude. Can you find Oppa a girl so she won’t be watching over me this strictly?”

Hye Sul smiled, hugged her back and whispered to her as well, ”He already found his girl, Shin Hye-ya. And I don’t think he would consider girls other than her”

“Hm?”

“I know you know. You both know. You just keep on running away from each other. But no matter how far you run, bear this in mind. You will both find yourself facing each other at the end. So, it’s your choice. Run, or stay?”

“I’m a fast runner, Unnie. I don’t think he can cope up with me”

“Do I need to tell you that the guy is stubborn?”

“No need to remind of that, Unnie. Maybe, later on, he’ll get tired. Then, we’ll both surrender and let go.”

“Tch! Surrender, but no one is letting go”

“We already did”, she said a matter-of-factly.

“for how many times, Shin Hye?”

“Hm?”

“How many times have you both tried to let go?” Hye Sul smiled, then added, “And no matter how hard you try, you still end up, trapped with that guy. You’re running in circle, kid. I hope you know that”

“Might be… but no matter how many times we come back to the same exact point, we always end up on the same script… he asking me to stay, me hoping for him to stay, but in the end, we both need to let go”

Hye Sul shook her head and hugged that girl tightly. “I miss you, Shin Hye-ya”

“Nado, Unnie”

“Now go, before I drop dead here, after all those dagger looks that your guy has been throwing at me”

“Unnie!”, Shin Hye said, stomping her foot.

“Take your time, Shin Hye. I know it’s hard. But he loves you, jinja. He needs you more that you think he does”

Shin Hye nodded her head and walked near Geun Suk.

Geun Suk held her hand, but she moved it away.

“People can see, Oppa”

“Can I not hold the hand of my dongsaeng?”

“Tch! Oppa, what are you doing here? Are they not looking for you?”

“How many times do you need to go to the ladies’, Shin Hye? Keunsama and MJ are both tired following after you?”

“Who told them to follow me, Oppa?”

“I did”, he said, smiling.

“And why would you do that?”

“In case you forgot, little missy, your gown tonight is not that suitable for girls walking alone at dark alley way, and in case you still don’t know, a lot of things happen at the alleyway?”

“Aisssh! Jinja, Oppa!”

“I’m just playing the role of a good Oppa. I am supposed to play that part, right?”, he asked, his words laced with sarcasm.

—–
As the program came to an end, Geun Suk hurriedly went outside, hoping to find that girl and have a word with her. He was sprinting towards his car, when as he stepped outside, he met a group of eels, who prepared a short fanmeeting with him.

Though he wanted to excuse himself, he stayed for a while and spent some time with those who waited for him at this hour. His eyes would at times fly to a distance, looking for that girl.

He hasn’t spoken with Keunsama yet. He’s not sure whether Shin Hye indeed waited for him, but she better be.

As the champagne was opened and the candle from that congratulatory cake was blown, and as he finished his speech, Keunsama walked beside him and whispered, “Shin Hye is already sleeping inside the car. Do you want us to just send her over and you’ll just talk to her tomorrow?”

Geun Suk chuckled, looked at him then said, “You know exactly that would never happen. You know me better than that”.

Keunsama shook his head, opened the car door, bowed at him, surrendering to his stubbornness.

When the car turned left at that corner two blocks away from the venue, Geun Suk went down, his coat on his arm. He saw one guy standing outside of the car, his hand on his waist, the other on his head.

Remembering the guy from before, Geun Suk bowed his head and said, “Hyung, mianhae. I’m late”

Jun looked at him, shaking his head. “I don’t know you that much. I hate to say it, but I don’t like you. The girl inside might not say any word to me, but I probably have an idea who you are. I’ve been with that girl for five years, and I can definitely tell you that I know in which day from that five years you are with her, and I don’t think I can remember anything good from any of it”

Geun Suk looked at him, and straightforward as he is, he looked at that girl inside the car, then said, “I don’t know you as well, Hyung. But I’m thankful that Shin Hye has you”.

Jun looked at that guy, surprised of the words that he said. Geun Suk looked at him, then smiled. “I won’t deny that I might probably be that guy who you remembered on those days. I bet those days were not so good for you to remember them clearly. Mianhae, if I did make her cry. I know it may sound strange, but I’m hoping that you could trust me and that you could entrust her to me”.

Dumbfounded, Jun just stood there, not sure what to say to that guy.

Geun Suk looked at that girl again, then continued, “It may not be that time yet. But I won’t be going anywhere, and I won’t allow her to go neither. I’ll plead her to stay and I will stay with her. Might not be how I want us to be yet… but as long as she’s with me, I’m fine with it”. He looked at Jun, “call me selfish Hyung, but I cannot let her go.” Geun Suk smiled, offered his hand, bowed at Jun then said, “Jang Geun Suk. 22, and I’m holding myself responsible of that kid”.

Jun shook his head, looked at him, then said in his soft voice, “I don’t entrust that girl that easy to anyone. I don’t like you, but somehow I can see why my Shin Hye would agree to wait for you here, amidst the pain and the anger that she has hidden inside her heart. You might have hurt her, but I hope someday, you could show me that you’re worth it. You’re worth this pain, and that you won’t hurt her again. Shin Hye needs to be home….”

“Before 12 mn. She will be there before the clock strikes 12. I will call you the moment I drop her off. Kamsamnida, Hyung. I am taking full responsibility of that girl.”, Geun Suk finished his sentence, smiling at him.

—–

As he went inside, he saw that girl sleeping soundly at the passenger’s seat. Tissue paper on her hand, with stains of her make up and lipstick. Geun Suk smiled as he saw her face, too innocent, so pure. And as he remembered her dress, he shook his head, smiling as she saw her wearing a loose off shoulder top, covering her gown.

Geun Suk leaned near her, tucking her loose hair to the back of her ears. Shin Hye twisted a little, and slowly opened her eyes.

“Oppa…”

“Did I wake you up?”, he asked, smiling.

“Ani.. What time did you arrive? Was I sleeping too long?”

“Ani…”, he answered looking at her face. “Did I scare you?”

Shin Hye looked at her, closed her eyes, then said, “Why were you mad?”

“I was not”, he tried to deny.

“Oppa…”, Shin Hye said, looking at him. “Is it about the dress?”

“Ani… hm.. partly, yes. But more than that, I hate seeing you helpless, and me standing there, doing nothing to help you”

“Oppa”, she said on the verge of crying.”I’m not… How did you… ani….”

Geun Suk leaned at her and wiped her tears. “Stop pretending that everything is ok.”

“It was just the dress!”, she said, her voice a bit loud, confused on why she’s getting mad of him reading her. She bit her lips, trying to muffle her sobs.

Geun Suk pulled her to him and hugged her tightly. “Shhhhh. Mianhae… mianhae…”

“Oppa..” she said, irritated.

“Let go. Shhhh….”

And then, as he was hugging her, trying to comfort her, Shin Hye’s sobs became louder and louder. “No one even asked me, Oppa. No one even care whether I would want to do what they want me to do. I know it was just a dress. I keep on telling myself that it was just a dress. But somehow, deep down inside, I know, it’s more than that. I cannot do anything, Oppa. No one even asked me. No one asked me…”

“Shhhhh. I’m here now. Don’t cry. Oppa is here”

Shin Hye pulled away, looked at him and smiled. “This is how it felt, right?”

Geun Suk looked at her, acted confused, though he knew clearly what it is that she’s asking.

“Oppa… was it like this?”

Geun Suk closed his eyes and smiled. Then after a second or two, he nodded his head and answered, “hm..”

“I see. I understand”

“It’s like that, and a million times more. “

“Hm?”, she asked, looking at him.

“Mianhae…”

“Hm..”, she said, nodding her head.

“Oppa..”

“Hm?”

“I like the sound of it…”

“Hm?”

“Oppa.. Geun Suk Oppa. Can we be like this? Can we stay like this?”

Geun Suk just looked at her, without answering.

Shin Hye looked back at him, then said, “I want us to stay this close. I don’t want to run away anymore, Oppa. Can you promise me we can stay just like this?”

“Shin Hye, ask me anything else”

“Oppa…”

“Not this one. I don’t think…”

“Let’s stay like this. I don’t want to run away anymore. I love the warmth, the comfort, the familiarity.. the security that I feel when I’m with you.”

“Shin Hye…”

“But I don’t want to fall…”

Geun Suk looked at her, with tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

Shin Hye looked at him, wiping his tears. “I don’t want to hate you, Oppa. I understand. But I don’t think I can handle another round of that pain….Oppa, I want to stay.. here.. right here. Can we just stay like this?”, she asked, tears running down her cheeks as well.

Geun Suk closed his eyes, not wanting to see her in tears. Though every inch of his body is objecting on it, he held her hand and nodded his head. “Arasseo.. arasseo.. we’ll stay like this.. I can’t promise for how long.. but we’ll stay like this.. for as long as we can.. for as long as I can….”

11 Comments »

missrickless

A Napkin dreams..

SukHye In My Heart

I may not be good with words, but this is my love for GeunShin...

this is me

welcome to the inner ramblings of my mind!

booksandrumblings

let me read and rumble. :)

journey of my mind

the languages of my thoughts